theend

Sallie Tisdale once said, "Dying is a state of ongoing loss. Hair, teeth, erections. The ability to tie shoes or carry groceries. Breasts. Vision. Attention span. The evening walk. Driving. The strength to climb stairs, to do the laundry and housework. Bladder control, a sense of smell, balance. Relationships disappear, plans are revoked, social roles are extinguished."

I feel this quote in every facet of my being. I comes to me in seconds, minutes, hours of my days, weeks and months. Chronic illness is a state of ongoing loss. Chronic illness where death is the inevitable result is even more so. I think about this quote all the time and I just sigh. There is nothing to be done about it. Nothing left to do, but accept the L and keep moving forward until you stop or make it stop.

Dying is a state of ongoing loss. Chronic illness is a state of ongoing loss. Always in mourning with no end in sight.

#Lupus #SLE #chornickidneydisease #ChronicLymeDisease #hashimotos #Ending #theend

I'm so used to chapters in my life suddenly closing, done, finished, there is no more. But lately I've found things closing at a much slower rate and I'm not sure which is worse.  Knowing whatever is coming to an end, seeing it and having to wait it out while the end gets here is... excruciating to say the least.  I never had the chance to really experience the emotions that went along with stuff before, I just had to move on without looking back.  But this?  This having time to sit and reflect on the situation, waiting it out and having to feel all the things that go with the changes happening?  I'm not sure about this.