It’s so hard to stay on track #survivingemotionalneglect
I keep hearing “trust in the process”. Some days it’s so hard though. Was talking to a friend and we are both struggling to live a full, well, rounded life in today’s landscape. We have no clue how to! The damage, and it is damage, to our true selves is so pervasive. On the bad days it seems like it’s impossible to change anything.
We were already struggling before COVID, but now it feels like the barren vacuum is widening.The loneliness and isolation was there before this year and COVID only highlights and magnifies that something very importantly crucial is missing.
I started doing intense therapy about 5 years ago. The “journey”, “process” has been a very long convoluted, overwhelming, winding road with so many pot holes and which I definitely fell of the side of a few cliffs along the way. Continuing to getting back up and on track gets more exhausting each time instead of easier. Plus I have no clue what will happen as this process evolves. Processing what missing is so difficult because I don’t think a I can recognize the feelings of what’s missing. I do not know what whole looks or feels like because I have never experienced it before in my 51 years.
Without guarantees or any kind of certainty it’s a continuous challenge. Some days I recognize or get some little validations that shows I’m moving forward. Then other days I feel like I’ve taken ten steps back.
So staying positive about being in this process is very difficult, but going back, and reverting to my old ways is not an option at this stage. I have to continue forward otherwise I could get stuck in some kind of stagnant cocoon. That’s not living. I want more then to just exist! Today I feel lost.....again....