It's true that you never stop learning or growing. It hit me hard today that I've grown so much from what I have learned this year. It's ok to cry or vent to someone as long as they have your best interests in mind. When I'm happy I light up the room. I can smile and it becomes contagious. Even through the chronic pain, I still become a beacon of hope for someone. I learned that my actions hurt others, cause there are people who really care for me. They hurt cause I'm in pain and my being sad hurts them too. I learned that despite how I think, I am somebody who is loved. I have folks who admire me just because I didn't give up when I've struggled. I'm stronger than I look and feel. I'm blessed to be here. My faith is my guidance. And lastly I've learned to let people go. To let those go of this who I love but they don't love me. The people who I love but they can't stand me. You can't force someone to love you or want to be around you. I learned that the hard way cause I'm wearing myself down trying to be someone that I'm not. I'm worthy to be loved and when the time comes it will happen. If it doesn't I'll be ok. In the end I will be alright. #Suicide #Depression #ChronicPain #Heartache #wanttobeloved #lonely #betteroff #DegenerativeDiscDisease #herniateddiscs #Postsurgerydepression