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    #Sorry I have been away a few days. Here is my new #Furbaby !!!!

    I felt it was best to refrain from posting these past few days. I was very #sad , #confused , & #hopeless due to my heartwrenching experience at the shelter I went about a week ago. I was even #Feeling like there might very well be a #Curse on me & my life. I pretty much believed that any & every thing I might & would do or try to do, was destined to be #tradgedy & cause me more #Heartache . To put it honestly, day to day was kinda "touch-and-go" moreso than ever. Recently, it came to a head, and I honestly felt that i had no idea if I'd be around to see the next day. But today, I brought home a new #Cat . He was the best cat there at PSPCA. (Pennsylvania SPCA. ) health-wise, age-wise, & he is calm with a #wonderful temperament. He is asleep on the couch with me right now. I like it at cold temps, but I not want him to get sick. He doesn't (yet) seem to feel ok about having a blanket over him, for warmth, but then again, he is just getting to know & has to have a bit of time to learn he can #Trust me. Anyways, I am keeping my leg against him for him to have my body warmth. I am SO pleased the way the day turned out. Had some very rough spots there, but it ended up not getting the best of the situation#. I have my baby! His name is what I consider extremely anti - #Christian . I don't even like to say or write it. I have been calling him "Baby" when I talk to or call for him. Still, I'm taking my time about giving him his permanent official name !!!



    Grief is like a yo-yo game. Some days it rips you apart and brings you to your knees in tears. Other days it makes you so mad that you want to get revenge on the person that did you so wrong. Then there are moments when you feel nothing at all. Numbness. Silence. You wonder if this is normal or is this only something you experience. You can have the biggest support system in the world, the most loving family and friends, yet nothing seems to work.

    My grief comes from my relationship with my boyfriend. This is the first relationship I have ever been in and we have been together for almost a year. Over the past two months I have noticed things in him that did not sit well with me. One day he ignored me on our walk home because I wanted to bring meat into his apparentment (he is a Jain and is against eating meat, the harming of animals, and having meat in his space). He ignored me the whole walk home which made me feel like a child who was being repremended by their parent. Then the other night I found out that he had one of his friends over ( who happens to be a girl) and he hid this from me and then lied about it (after I confronted him). The grief comes from what I thought our future would look like. We talked about moving in together and what our lives would be like travelling and loving life. Now that is not the case and I mourn what I expected to happen. The thing is I questioned my relationship with him sometimes even during the relationship, I did see some red flags but I never thought anything of it. The sex wasn’t that great and I honestly did not look forward to it (I actually didn’t enjoy it during the action). What I did enjoy was the company, the companionship, the attention, the love that I know he gave me and had for me. I miss having someone I can tell anything too, cuddle with, laugh with, and have fun with. I miss the friendship the most and am afraid that will be lost if we break up. But I also know I don’t like the person I have become in certain triggering situations. Anyone else been in situations where they are having a hard time deciding. #Grief #relationship #Love #Heartache #partnership

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    Prayers please #ServiceDog

    I was given the news on Friday, March 4 that my sweetest companion has days to live. My heart is broken in a million pieces.
    If you pray, please pray for my companion. If you could send good vibes that would be awesome. I’m praying that she will pass peacefully here at my home. We have been inseparable for many years. You can imagine the absolute devastation I am going through. I pray I can keep her comfortable. I need your thoughts and prayers to be strong for her. #prayers #Heartache #Broken #PTSD #Anxiety #TBI #BrainInjury #lost


    You told me

    You told me
    You loved me
    But your words
    Got me trapped in your misery

    You told me
    You wouldn't hurt me
    But for 20 years
    Your actions wounded me

    You said you wouldn't tell me
    What to do
    But your words
    Deceived me

    You told me
    You know what's best for me
    But your words
    Did the damage

    You told me
    I'm your best friend
    But your words
    Showed me who you are

    You played the victim
    When you thought
    You were good
    You used your kids against me
    When you said you never would #WritingThroughIt #Writing #Depression #Heartache #Pain


    What should I Do?

    What should I do
    If all I am is a failure?
    What should I do
    If all you do is leave?

    What should I do
    With every breath
    I take
    It hurts
    What do I do
    If you hide how you feel?
    What should I do
    If you broke me in two #Depression #heartbreak #Heartache


    Burning Through chances

    Do you know
    I'm in so much pain?
    Do you know
    What it will gain?
    If my eyes
    Is filled with rain
    I'm running out of chances
    For you it's burning through
    Because there's no chances
    To become true #Depression #Heartache #Pain

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    You used to be my Heart

    You used to be my heart and soul
    That made me smile
    You are the breath
    I couldn't wait to take
    You were the one
    I didn't want my heart to break
    I didn't want your love to be fake

    Now it feels like my hearts been stabbed
    It feels like I'm slowly dying
    Even though I'm always trying
    Everyone knows I'm always lying #Depression #heartbreak #Heartache



    Have you ever lose someone
    That you didn't mean to lose
    Have you ever felt the pain
    That lead you down the drain

    Do you wish you didn't have a heart
    Because all you do is fall apart
    Do you wish you didn't have a heart
    Because the knife
    made it ugly art
    #Heartache #Depression #Poetry #MightyPoets


    I'm new to the group

    Hi everyone, I'm Jhana. I'm new to this group. I used to write poetry but now I'm into short stories. My poetry is about love and pain. When I am writing short stories, I write about disability and love. Hopefully I will start poetry again soon. Maybe this group will help me.
    #Poetry #MightyPoets #Love #Disabity #Pain #Heartache