I’m exhausted ! This has been the first weekend in I don’t know how long where everything I’ve been going through just vanished. I was able to attend multiple family functions, this weekend without issue. Had conversations with members I haven’t seen in a very long time. I was laughing. Smiling. Talking. MYSELF! I was genuinely having a good time. And for the first time in months I felt like my old self again without those annoying thoughts that make you feel guilty for feeling ok. But I am exhausted! I got in the car and my body just collapsed. My eyes got heavy. My body ached. I felt a surge of anger and anxiety. My mind raced and I felt the need to cry. And I just want to sleep. I got home, ripped off my dress put on the biggest and comfiest sweat pants and sweater I could find. Curled up in a ball beside my Fiancé and just sat there begging, nudging for him to give me cuddles and hold me tight. I guess this weekend was the distraction I needed and craved for so long. But now I am tired, and it makes me feel like the entire time I was pretending without realizing I was pretending. EXHAUSTED.. #exhausted #Anxiety #Depression #ChronicPain #Pretending #NotOK #wasagoodday #CheckInWithMe