"You're lonely," came that somber voice. It always came when I wanted it the least. A stark, but hollow reminder that in the absence of human interaction I had fabricated something otherworldly in a shapeless form.

What kind of mental monster had I become? Yet another question to ponder over my first cup of morning coffee. I was far beyond normal for a very long time before this began. It was best described as the helplessness of drowning, but holding no intention of stopping the water from filling the lungs.

Around the moment of that final gasp you hear it. The voice. The one that mocks to a brutal point with no regard for the situation at hand. That being your inevitable demise under those murky waters. A taunting reminder of your loss in this race, the voice that calls on all of your failures as if they are clear as day.

Will it ever stop sneering at your loneliness? Only if you break the self-serving shackles you placed on your ankles before diving in. Breach the service with gritted teeth and tell it with all of your being that you are not what it's for my eyes as you are so much more. You may be lonely but you are still here. Fighting the undertow.

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Depression #Anxiety #Suicide #suicidal #suicidalideations #writingthrough it