4 Brutally Honest Dating Profiles (Because Our Illnesses Don't Make Us Unlovable)
Dating is wild, am I right? I mean, you put together a profile, trying to condense your greatness into a short paragraph that simply screams, “Hey, stranger whom I might be about to meet. I’m the one you’ve been looking for.” But what if our dating profiles were more… brutally honest?
That’s the task we set for four of our Super Contributors: share with us your brutally honest dating profiles complete with your conditions, your quirks, your wildness that makes you the beautiful Mighty that you are. Because hey, we wouldn’t be us without our conditions and our scars. We’re human and we deserve love not in spite of our conditions, but including them. We deserve love, end of sentence.
Oh, and sorry, everybody — these profiles are meant for fun only!
Here’s what they shared with us:
Name: Monika Sudakov
Age: 46 but age is just a number
Location: Central Illinois
If you can tolerate some insecurities, quirks, and a slightly overblown obsession with Céline Dion…
Hi! I’m Monika! I am a chef and writer whose hobbies include listening to podcasts, watching documentaries, reading nonfiction, and binge-watching “Ted Lasso” and “Schitt’s Creek.” I’m a recovering perfectionist and aspiring good-enoughist who tends to apologize for everything and considers herself terminally unique in her ability to be responsible for everything on the planet. My ideal partner loves intellectual conversation, sends me constant words of affirmation, makes me laugh, and regularly reinforces that I am enough, especially when my anxiously attached brain tells me I’m not. If you can tolerate some insecurities, quirks, and a slightly overblown obsession with Céline Dion, the reward will be a partner who is loyal, caring, and will keep you endlessly on your toes.
Name: Ashley Nestler
Location: Denver, CO.
I am often jumpy and may be found talking to the various voices in my head!
My name is Ashley, and I am a mental health specialist who also happens to have various mental illnesses! I love reading, writing, crocheting, painting, cross-stitching, and sleeping too much. I am often jumpy and may be found talking to the various voices in my head! You might find that I’m a particularly interesting person to sleep next to as I am frequently disrupted by nightmares. Nevertheless, I will always have something fun and interesting to talk about so you will never be bored! Eating with me can be difficult, however, due to my body issues and inability to eat regularly, but I will always be happy to cook you a meal.
Hit me up if you are in for one hell of a ride! I promise that you won’t ever forget me.
Name: Megan Glosson
Location: Nashville, TN.
At least you can enjoy my lopsided chest?
Hey, I’m Megan, a red-headed mama who’s amBItiously looking for love… mostly because the idea of being alone terrifies me. I’m always down for a night out on the town, but I probably won’t answer your texts or calls the day after because I will be in bed battling excruciating head pain. I’m very cuddly, and I’ll definitely ask you if you’re mad at me at least 10 times a day, but hey, at least you can enjoy my lopsided chest? Just don’t plan any dates that require us to use mass transit, and be prepared to get sucker-punched if you ever try to hug me from behind.
Name: Ameera Ladak
I love making you laugh because it’s the quickest way for me to get the external validation I crave.
Hey, wassup, hello! I’m a pro-mask masc. looking for love (or maybe not – I have an anxious-avoidant attachment style and the L-word makes me barf a little) in the time of mental illness. I’m a Gemini, which is my not-so-subtle way of saying I’m queer and have ADHD. I love short walks on the beach (or actually, on even terrain – chronic pain), and making you laugh because it’s the quickest way for me to get the external validation I crave. Full disclosure, I probably will forget to text you back or miss your birthday, but will go into a rejection sensitive dysphoria spiral if I don’t hear from you. Benefits of dating me include having access to my brain, which is full of useless trivia from various hyperfixations and my hyperindependence, which means you’ll never have to do anything for me.
Swipe left if you won’t be able to handle my IBS farts or long romantic nights with nausea, nightmares, and if it’s extra special, maybe even a seizure!
Dating can be hard when you live with an illness. If you’re wondering how other people handle having that conversation with their prospective paramours, then look no further: we hope the articles below will help you find your way through the sometimes murky waters of dating.
Images via contributors