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Bipolar 2 mood slip

What a f@~ker this illness is. You're going fine, then you start to slip. Then sleep goes haywire. Seeing a psych takes too long.

I end up ruminating about meds. have bipolar 2 and hypothyroidism. Got a new GP recently who doesn't know me and wants to stop a thyroid med. Got me panicked, but there'll be nothing I can do about that. Just accept it.

I'm not as bad as I was a little over 2 weeks ago, but I'm still a bit shit - felt like getting worse after dose increase of T4 so stopped given that sleep worsening. On more diazepam and a bit more quetiapine, taking me to 4mg and 550mg of those. Bit of valproate and cipralex in the background and then my thyroid meds (T3 and T4)

Sleep was saved by diazepam until last 2 nights, but it's started to slip again. Up repeatedly with pangs of anxiety last night. Feel a tad high today if anything but then those feelings creep in and say "hey, what the fook do you think you're doing - try some anxious energy in your arms and legs" - trying mindfulness, which is helping, but I just want to be drugged up right now.

Gotta work. Can't justify time off sick. Fortunately work from home so can hide away. As much as I want to hide, I also want the whole world to know I'm not right and I want support. Easy to tears with that.

#Bipolar #Depression #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #agitated

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Aching language

my heart is literally aching in every language every music genre, am in pain in every possible way. and i hate that someone who i believed is the core of my soul and the reason i excited is the cruical reason. AND I CANNOT RUN TO HIS ARM AND HIDE TO SOOTHE THAT PAIN! #Heartache #breakup #trigerred #agitated #anxious # memories


agitated #

#agitated , and upset and fed up, not hungry, but know that I have to eat, but really can’t be arsed, drinking coffee, and have cooked a bacon sandwich, really can’t physically eat it, so I’ve wrapped it in foil, for later. have taken two pain killers and have now put the washing in the machine, which I’ve needed to do, but it’s a slow process.

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