Hi I’m new & my #Anxiety is in overload
I joined The Mighty a couple of months ago but haven’t really known what to say in a post. Tonight seems like a very appropriate time to share though.
Some of you might know of me, I admin a page on Facebook called #depressionawareness
I created the page in 2010 & it’s very dear to my heart even though I can be a bit of an absent admin.
You can find my page by searching @DepressionAwareness2010 on Facebook. But anyhoo, this isn’t meant to be a boost for my fan page.
No, tonight is probably the worst I’ve felt for a very long time. My day started out well, I’ve recently come off #Venlafxine ( #Effexor ) & I will admit it was one hell of a fight! I’ve been completely off it for over a month now & this morning I had a review about my new med, #Sertraline
It was a successful appointment on that part.
However, I’ve been given a #betablocker to help with my blood pressure which has been climbing steadily for about a year now.
So after my appointment, my Dad, who suffers from #BipolarDisorder received an odd letter in the post. It was from a company looking for him.
After a quick Google search of the company (because you can never be too careful these days) I rang them.
We were given some horrible news.
My Uncle passed away last month & the local council were trying to find his relatives. I confirmed that he was indeed my Dad’s brother & gave them as much information as I could. It took hours & more than just one phone call. I also rang around some other family members so they didn’t get the sad news the same way we had.
I deal with phone calls in my house because my Dad is profoundly deaf.
Once I had finished with the bombardment of calls, messages & long lost relatives, I had quite the headache.
After attempting to comfort my Dad I retreated to the solace of my dark bedroom. That was about 6pm.
It was then that my mind had chance to reflect on the day. I smiled for a while at the gifts I had received from a dear friend.
However, my mind soon returned to thinking about my medications etc & something my Dr said this morning started sounding alarm bells in my head.
We had been discussing my blood pressure obviously but I told him that in one of my more stressful moments the previous week I’d had the startling clarity to check my blood pressure. I explained that my blood pressure was actually quite low at the time but my pulse rate was extremely high at a whopping 116bpm. He told me that’s because my heart is literally struggling to cope with my anxiety & stress.
I instantly started to panic.
So now, it’s after 2am, I’m tired beyond belief, but my mind just will not stop racing. Every little twitch of skin around my chest is terrifying me.
I’m running out of room to type. I didn’t realise there was a limit. I do like a nice long vent though.