The tricky thing about shame seems to be that it’s both the cause and the effect. I have extreme shame about my trauma responses. I can’t even talk about it. I’ve talked with my therapist a little and it’s helped minimally. She said “what is normal, anyway?” which made me feel even more insane. I self-isolate all the time. I hate being around large groups, and especially around men. My marriage is totally falling apart which perhaps it was time and this is only the catalyst, but we have three children and I am still emotionally dependent on him.

I was a normal woman before this. I was. Now I’m an empty shell.