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How are you’re children doing? Are you ever disappointed in them?

I’m having a really hard time lately because of my daughter. Now she was a star student. So freaking talented in so many ways. She can sing like an Angel, always made top grades. In college she excelled beyond my wildest dreams. Student of the year at a top university. Got her masters. But the last year in school something happened and she was diagnosed with bi polar. She married her highs school sweetheart and life was great until she got pregnant. She says she never wanted to have children and then began 3 years of turmoil. She ballooned up to 360
Lbs and became suicidal. She doesn’t love her child so us and the other grandparents take turns watching her. It’s not right for that ooor little girl to be shuffled around so much. She just turned 5 and has witnessed things no one should ever have! I found out yesterday they are sending her 3 states away to live with her Aunt and I’m crushed. Not just about that but that her marriage is probably over too. She can’t work because she is so depressed and she doesn’t think anyone would hire her because of her weight. I’m so disappointed. Her life has fallen apart. I don’t know how to help her anymore. I’m embarrassed she’s done nothing with her life when it all looked so promising. She 33 now. If I could raise her little girl I would but I have too many medical problems. Psoriatic arthritis, ankylosis spondylitis, fibromyalgia, chronic pain and more. I was barely able to watch her on my days I had her and it would take me days to recover from it. I would be in bed for 3 days afterwords. I raised her in a loving home, we had a good Christian based home and my husband and I have been married 40’years this year. I know one of these times she will succeed in killing herself. Mental illness is a real problem her in the USA. For her every time she tried she was placed in the hospital for a few days then in a rehab but insurance will never pay for more than a week. We have searched for help for her long and hard and unless you’re rich you can’t get into any long term facility for help. I’m at my wits end and don’t know where to turn or how to help her. My heart is so heavy and depression has hit me hard. First of all from my body failing me and I can’t help out more but mostly because of my daughter. Does anyone have any ideas about how to get her help? #suside #bi polar #depreassion #ChronicPain #help


Fear of life

I am mortally fearful of driving.

This gets deep, please be undersanding and respectful.

I am in my early 30's, and i am terrified of being in a car.
I have severe anxiety when thinking of leaving the house, panic attacks while driving by myself. I have a dehibilitating fear of leaving my home. I have fear of the unknown, fear of abandonment.

My story starts when i was very young. My mom was kidnapped, and murdered when i was a child. She drove to the corner store one night and never came back. I have been in a tramatic car crash, that my husband blamed me for and refused to take me to see a doctor for a concussion. I have had a car broken down on the side of the road in the middle of the night, severe cold temps and no help.

I guess my symptoms can best be classified as ptsd. I drive myself to and from work which is a quick 10min, 3 mile drive, and that is all. I purchase every form of roadside protection i can to help alleviate my fear of abandonment, so i feel as if i have a safety net. I make my husband do all our family errands that require any form of driving. I stay in town and i grip the door handle so tightly when im inside the car i have white knuckles.

I have become a virtual prisoner of my home, and so is my dd as i am too terrifed to leave my home, for fear of car failure of abandonment some place far from home.

I need to know if anyone else has thes feelings.
I know they are severe and not logical.

I want to LIVE again.
The best years of my life are passing me by and im so gripped by fear and anxiety i can't enjoy them. I get angry at myself and i feel ashamed.

Im screaming inside and nobody hears me.