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    Has anyone experienced splitting? How do you recognize it? Can you control it?

    I just experienced a very shameful time. My DBT therapist just terminated me from his DBT group for violating DBT rules and regulations. I made a mistake and I own it. My therapist helped me write a letter of amends. I am hoping and praying that he will allow me to rejoin the group. My therapist gave me a link to read about splitting…it all sounds so scary, and impossible to control. I am looking for feedback on Splitting. Thank you. # BPD #CPTSD #bi -polar disorder #ADHD #MDD Anxiety

    11 reactions 7 comments
    Post

    Being dual diagnosed with #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder and co-morbid #bi -polar

    Recently I was given a secondary diagnosis of #bi -polar 6 months ago.. I was mearly told it was #manicdepression which 4 months later was explained to me more.

    As I sit here writing this, it perplexes me that so many individuals have #Co -morbid conditions that frankly they know nothing about.

    I was so set in my recovery from my trauma and past I was positive I did not have anything else wrong.. ESP not chemically, until I realised the difference in the levels of mental illness we have..

    For example; core content structure which enables your surface personality and structure. Think of it as a massive jaw breaker with load of layers, my #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder is my core content and that has cause conditions like anxiety to arise or mania..

    My question is, is there anyone else out there struggling with this dual diagnosis, I’ve been diagnosed with my #BPD for over 7 years now and I thought I was in remission.. how sourly wrong I was.

    Finding the perfect happy medium between the two is giving me the fear.. and to be honest I need some like minded friends.

    4 comments
    Post

    *TRIGGER WARNING*

    Honestly can't believe I'm at this point, it's been a minute...

    A lot has happened, Husband has Alzheimers and it's moving forward as it will, Dr. thought I had a stroke and ended up in the hospital twice in 1 and 1/2 weeks for 3 days each. Over my head in paperwork for husband to receive VA benefits as he is a Vietnam Vet. I found out about 3 weeks ago that man I had loved for most of my life was killed in a car accident...That has sent me to the bottom. Have talked to 3 therapists, been told to think of something else when the memories surface, do mindfulness, etc. Problem is I don't want to forget, I don't want to "move on" and only hold on to the memories here and there, sometimes.

    I WANT A DO-OVER!!!

    Bi-polar robbed me of the good life I was supposed to have and then gave me 40 years of pain and trying to re-create the happiest days of my life, and yes, they truly were. Hindsight is 20/20 and I have been looking back at my life for the truth, as in Nothing is perfect and looking back in honesty you normally find that those memories weren't as great as you thought. I've worked on those for about a month now. They were the best days of my life and I walked away. We were literally thousands of mile apart, I was 20 years old. So very young and afraid to believe that someone, I found out later, would be the only man to ever love me for me. Wild and crazy, bipolar and all. Loved for me.

    So I sit here today begging GOD to please please take me home, through tears and screams I don't even recognize coming from my throat. I'm so very tired. I totally understand that HE died for me and that he knew before I was even thought of who I would be and everything about me. So why GOD, why am I here and why have I had to spend 60 years always going in the wrong direction and always in pain. This time has been a bit different. I actually started with a letter to my brother. It will be hard for him as he has always been up front with my bipolar and his problems understanding it. Not sure how to explain in writing to my husband why I'm not here anymore, as he doesn't understand a lot these days and I'm his only caregiver. Where will he go now and who will take care of my beloved dog if I'm not here.

    I literally fell on my knees this morning, the knees that I scraped up last week and are still bruised and sore, Begging for GOD to just take me home. I DON'T beg, maybe 2, 3 times in my life. I'm begging God now though. Can't write anymore as I can't see the keyboard and I'm so so very tired. If anyone reads this or actually gets through this loooonnng book I've written, I want to thank you for being here. This has so often been a comfort and support for me.

    #bi polarII #to tired

    4 comments
    Post

    Hi aĺl

    So I have bi polar 2 anxiety depression cpsd ptsd and teleplis and autism and a mild intellectual disability scoliosis #bi polar sucks #misunderstood

    So only a few years been diagnosed with autism being female you know it is what happens

    I find it so hard in the community
    Who else does
    Where do I fit
    I function like a so called norm
    But don't understand conversation enough or social....
    Why is it that if you are not fully unfunctional that people lump everyone together oh it's disability not being able to see each person and putting people who have high behaviours above others....

    1 comment
    Post
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    There’s good days too!

    Sometimes I can’t seem to remember the good days over all the bad moments. Did I mention I am #bi -polar ? And I struggle with having #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder , which brings along #Anxiety & #Borderline Bipolar depression and other challenges that cause me distress.
    Not fair to the kiddos. But when pops (the kids dad) is home I get to rest. Sometimes I lock my bedroom door and ignore the kids. I have to in order to be the calm adult I’m supposed to be and the grandma slash caregiver the kiddos need. I fall short more often than I succeed.
    But when the kids come into my room and hug me and tell me that they love me 💕🥰 I calm in my heart and my head and my soul. I wish I could hold onto the best moments over those bad moments, maybe I would be less stressed.
    Picture taken Halloween 2021

    Post

    No title here

    You wanna know what I like most about The Mighty? It's the messages I get from people. You know, the people asking me for money. Or my phone number, or the other people who want me to buy bitcoins or drugs.
    I'm disappointed, I really am.
    #mental health
    #bi polar 2
    #CPTSD
    #ChildhoodAbuse
    #Disabled
    #
    #
    #
    #and so on

    1 comment
    Post

    WTF ???

    A friend and I did an experiment with the doctor we both have. We each called to set up an appointment with him.
    My friend is kinda wealthy, and I'm on the broker end of broke, barely making it on disability. He has awesome insurance, I have medicaid and Tribal Health Benefits, We complained of the exact same symptoms and set up our appointment.
    My friend goes next week Tuesday, my appointment is the second week of November.
    Anyone else see something wrong with that?

    #bi -polar 2
    #chronic pain
    #Childhood trauma
    #abused
    #Sex trafficked
    #emdr Therapy gone wrong
    #panic disorder
    #Manic depression
    #Stroke
    #heart attacks
    #AtrialFibrillationAndStroke
    #
    #
    #

    59 comments
    Post

    My Day

    I just wanted to brag for a moment, and thought that the Mighty was a good place to do it.
    I got up this morning, but only sat in bed for a half a cup of coffee, not my usual two, not wanting to get up. I got dressed right away and took Little Man out (he's my Service Dog and best friend).
    My apartment is full of work spaces, I use everything as work benches because I'm working on about 346 different projects at the same time. Tools are everywhere. Pieces and parts and gadgets and ideas are everywhere.
    Well, today I completely cleared one whole table,4'x 8', FINISHED nine projects! 9 !!!
    For me, lately has been pretty much bad. My body is failing because of who I used to be, which is a whole nother story. My brain is going downhill because of the stroke, and my depression is hard to ignore.
    But..... today I got up and LIVED!!! I put one foot in front of the other and kept going!!!
    My body will regret it tomorrow, but today was worth it! I lived.
    Tell me about your day? Anything exciting, different, funny, inspirational?

    #bi polar
    #Manic depression
    #suicidal ideation
    #Suicide attempts
    #Stroke
    #heart attack
    #Childhood traumas
    #losing hope
    #Still trying hard
    #warrior

    36 comments
    Post

    What tips do you have for creating structure in your life? #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

    I struggle with self-regulating regarding time management, eating, sleeping, and activities. I can hyper focus for a day, & then I’m back to a cluttered mindset & my energies all over the place. I’m concerned I come across as lazy & irresponsible. My husband provides my only external structure (he’s fantastic & supportive), but he can’t be with me to hold my hand all day. I have to work but my lack of structure & self-regulating means I’m not accomplishing all my job requires. I need & love this job & don’t want to blow it. I’m not out to my employer regarding
    my mental illness. What tips do you have? #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #bi -polardisorder

    3 comments
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    What does it mean…

    What does it mean if your husband of 10 years can’t answer the question “Why do you think I go to the psychiatrist every month?”
    I was bi-polar when we met, we even had fertility issues related to my bi-polar meds.
    I am having the worst depressive episode I have had in 15 years and if I try to discuss it, he changes the subject or walks away. He even saw me Google things related to suicide and actually got mad about it.
    I lost both my parents and four other close relatives in the past three years and I am isolated from my friends. I have no one. His family will support him no matter what so I can’t go to them. I’m not in any position to make a move right now and he acts like everything is fine, I’m just acting mopey. #bi -polar depression

    4 comments