dontquit

Pain sucks, I’ve been living with nerve damage in my right leg for nearly 6 years. I’ve have had 5 surgeries in this time, and the nerve tumor keeps growing back.
No matter what pill or therapy I’ve tried, has a two week life, before it’s no longer effective.
My brain quit on me last year, planning my death, to escape the pain. The thought knocked me to the ground, “just die”.
From that moment, I decided to try pot for the first time in my 33 years on this earth, and I’ve been using pot to help relieve the pain. It doesn’t always work for the pain, but it does help repair my mindset.
I hope that if someone is reading this knows, that they can keep going, keep trying, even when their body is quitting.
I find daily victories, like; I had company, or went food shopping and I did a load of laundry. I try to pay myself on the back; and that has helped. ##keepgoing #dontquit #painsucks #thchero

In 4 days, it will be a year since the day I signed the papers terminating the rights to my son. And I'm having a rough go of it but tonight, a Texas A&M Aggie Proverb popped into my head "I've seen them win and I've seen them lose but I've never seen them quit" and how true this is. Several months ago I tried to give up and God said no, you have e a purpose and sent me back. Here I am today still wondering what that purpose is but knowing I'm here for good reason. So now, even knowing the world judges me for my decision to let my son go as well as the decision to attempt suicide, it's not up to them to make that judgment as no one ever has and never will walk my path. My path is mine alone. I don't have to walk alone but I am the only one who can walk this path through till the end. I beg you, all of you, suicide is not an option. And if it becomes that you feel this is your only way out, please reach out to someone, even if it's that person on earth you'd want to talk to. Find something that grounds you. Mine has become coloring and I'm back into my video games with my husband. I try to take life one day at a time but sometimes I still get overwhelmed such as it is. Always keep your head up and keep trying. And please, never give up hope.