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I sometimes have these moments where I feel myself come back. I sit there and take it in knowing it won’t last long. I’ll sit there and appreciate that I’m still here, deep down I’m still here and I’ll come out every once in awhile. I fight for her to come out everyday but it’s not easy.

I sit there and appreciate the moment of peace, no pain, no rapid thoughts, just myself. Not the amber that’s filled with physical anxiety, not the panic filled amber, not the amber that has full body tremors almost daily.

I appreciate the moment of silence, of peace, the small moment I get to think “I’ll be ok, I’m not dying” the small seconds I get to breath and my brain calms down before it all slips away again. #Anxiety #PanicAttack #hashimotos #GravesDisease #MentalHealth #ChronicPain #painsucks #anxietysucks

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It's a bad day for my body.

I am having such a rough time today and yesterday. Headaches and pain so bad that I had to leave work yesterday early and called out today. It just gets to be so depressing and hopeless. I am mentally and physically exhausted. It would be so much easier to just throw in the towel. I try to be positive and keep my "everything is good" mask on my face. I just wanted to let out what I was feeling. Better to share than to hold it in. #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Chronicpainwarrior #Fibromyalgia #ChronicFatigue #SpinalStenosis #DegenerativeDiscDisease #painsucks
#Migraine #iwanttogiveup

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Thank Goodness it is Friday!!

Well I am happy this week is over! Even though there was some awesome days, the bad ones just made it exhausting!!
To end this week I am going into a flare! Yaya... 😬
But before it really hit, when you feel it slowly coming, I took my Loki out for a walk and my youngest daughter came out with me!! It was nice!! I am happy I put all my strength in for that hour because it was the best hour out of the whole day! Look at my puppy's face!! He just so happy to be out with us!!
I am laying in bed paying for it now and I have my pictures to remind me how worth it, it was!
Well I hope it does last long and a good night sleep will help and feel like a spring chicken in the morning!! A girl can dream!! 😁
Have a good weekend!
#Fibromyalgia #ChronicIllness ##ChronicPain #FlareUps #painsucks


We’re do I start

I’ve been suffering all my life. Even typing this gives me anxiety because I feel like all I do is complain. I need help. I need support. But, I need to listen and learn how to be sympathetic to others. I’m in pain all the time. #painsucks . But I’m an emotional wreck that I can’t think of others. #Anxiety #Stress #abused #feelalone I don’t feel like typing a lot but I needed to start somewhere. Thank you. #lost

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New Year's Eve!

Had a wonderful start to my day!! Took our fur babies to the park for some exercise for all of us! My Loki baby just loved having his nephew with him! Haha... his much older nephew!
My fur grandbaby Beau came with us!! He will be 9 years old tomorrow!! My daughter adopted him a few years ago! He is the greatest!
My fur babies just bring me peace. You can be in such a dark place and they just stay there! Their presence helps so much!!
Tonight is a little different story, just out of nowhere like the sneaky grim reaper, Pain came to say dont forget I am still here. My hands are killing me! Aching so bad, shooting up my arms, and any time I grab something I feel like I am bruised! Double whammy!
Jeesh, having fibro you learn about different types of pain fast!! Oh my favorite part is when you get to experience more than one type at a time!! 🙄 ( adding a little funny sarcasm in there)
Well fibromyalgia you were a little slow today because I got our yummy new years eve dinner done before you showed up, yeah so what, I wasn't able get to the dessert, we have a box of s'more pop tarts! Good enough for us!! So Haha.... bring in the new year on my couch relaxing, watching movies with my family!! Yeah I am in pain but I am not going to let it steal my joy away tonight!
Happy New Year!!
#Fibromyalgia #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #painsucks

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Change of weather

Oh boy!! Lots of pain again!! Is weather change hard on you too?
At least Loki is enjoying it!! Haha... his first Snowfall and I just had to capture it!
Lots happened too! My body isn't taking to well!
This cold snap for sure is not helping!! Tomorrow going to stay snuggled in my heated blanket after I put a pot of Turkey soup on!! Just hope I can find the strength to do so! #Fibromyalgia #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Pain #painsucks #TakeItOneStepAtATime

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Ugh ugh ugh

I woke up with a pretty huge headache that's shaping up to be a migraine. My period is supposed to hit any freaking second now. I'm shadow cramping and all around in a crappy, grouchy mood, and I haven't even left my bed yet. I'm already struggling with depression much more in the past two days than I have in a very long time. I'm worried that my physical pain will just increase the emotional, and my depression will escalate to more than probably dangerous levels. Please, if you would be willing and able to, check in with me periodically throughout the day? The accountability is a huge help in fighting this particular demon. Thank you all in advance ❤️❤️❤️ #CheckInWithMe #Depression #Migraine #painsucks



People suck. They’re mean spirited and cruel and they SUCK. They don’t see a 36 year old with a walking stick and think to themselves, you know what I’m gonna make her day a little easier because that looks like it’s no fun at all. No. They bump into you and glare at you and treat you like crap everywhere you go, because why? Because you’re fat and ugly you must be some how deserving of the pain and discomfort you endure on a daily basis? I wouldn’t wish this crap on ANYONE. No-one, in the history of everyone EVER, had ever deserved to be in pain EVERY DAY for the rest of their lives.
I see people treat pregnant women and kids and old people like they should, so why not me? Do I have to put a sign around my neck? “Everything hurts please give me a break”. I shouldn’t have to say it. I shouldn’t have to ask. People should just open their eyes and figure it out for themselves, I’m so sick of trying to explain it to their deaf stupid ears.
#ChronicPain #Fibromyalgia #painsucks #peoplearemean


What works for your fibromyalgia pain?

I just want some small part of my life back. My doctor has tried me on several different meds 2 months at a time (try this) then 2 months try this or up the dose on the one that helped some and it sends my blood pressure through the roof. Now trying something new again. I feel like I will never get relief. If I were a animal the vet would put me down. I just would like to know if their is anyone out their on something that works or helps. The suffering is neverending. #painsucks #fibromyalgianeedsacure


Describe what your Fibro pain feels like? Is there a certain time of the day/night you feel it the most?

I’m asking because according to Dr Google & talking to a couple of friends who have Fibro, they say I have it. I just haven’t been diagnosed by a doctor...yet.
#Fibromyalgia #painsucks #RachelNunez #ChronicPain #Anxiety #Depression