Stuck in My Dreams #Fibromyalgia #excessivedaytimesleepiness #ChronicFatigue
I have days when I can wake up at 6am, and get things done all day long. However, those are far outnumbered by days like today, where I drag myself out of bed, because my kids need me to wake up, only to end up falling asleep an hour or two later, and being physically unable to wake up enough to function. I become lost in dreams, knowing that I’m dreaming, but unable to remember my actual, current reality and location. I’ll often dream that I’ve “woken up” to a different reality, but I know it’s not my actual reality, though I can’t figure out why it’s different.
It’s my own personal labyrinth of dreams, and it can be a relief, or it can be torture. Sometimes, I don’t want to wake up, but other times, I’m mentally screaming for someone, my mom or my husband, to wake me up, because I just want to wake up, and I can’t escape from my dream world.
It’s terrifying and frustrating, especially on the occasions when I can wake only briefly enough to be cognizant of my current reality, then get unwillingly pulled back under into yet another dream.
I know I need to go to a sleep doctor, but I’m so tired of doctors telling me there’s nothing wrong with me, or sending me to another doctor, or worse: back to my psychiatrist (who is great, but it’s very invalidating to be constantly told “it’s all in your head”, which is what they’re saying when they refer me to my psychiatrist, again).
I need to be able to have energy to take care of housework and kids, and I’m SO TIRED OF BEING TIRED! 😫