There is nothing worse than trying to support an old friend when they come to u for help then realise all they have done is use you. They don't care about you now you have helped them, let them in again and been there for them. They just use you and dump you again and leave you feeling lost, confused , alone, stupid,embarrassed. This is why i struggle to make friends.
Why am I stuck? I’m scared, I’m scared of change, scared of loosing things that I’m used too. I’m a creature of habit. But what I’m slowly realising is that this fear of change is a part of my anxiety. It’s stopping me from finding a new job. I’m doubting myself and my abilities that I look at jobs and think to myself, I can’t do that. Most decent paid jobs need you to drive. I have put off learning to drive for so long now, no money and anxiety being the main factors. My anxiety has held me back for so long. The voice inside that tells me and pushes me to do crazy things like martial arts tells me I can do it easily but my anxiety drowns it out and I doubt myself and end up not doing a thing.
I want to move forward but I’m scared, I feel alone in how I feel and utterly scared to talk to anyone about it because I feel stupid. Like it’s something wrong.
#feelingstuck #Anxiety #scared #scaredofchange #feelingstupid
every time I got to tell anyone about my emotions I feel stupid and like my emotions don’t matter because I mean can we actually prove anything actually matters and if nothing does matter living doesn’t seem very interesting we use our beliefs to keep us comfortable but when you wanna live your life your way it can frustrate you especially when your family doesn’t approve i don’t want to upset the people that raised me or deliberately go against their wishes for me but I’m kinda tired of wanting to die and crying because I’m not right.
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