Upset

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    Why does my preferred clinic have to suck right now | TW mentions of needles, dysphoria, some caps, swearing, upset

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    I’m so mad at my preferred clinic for STILL not having the flu shots! Are you freaking kidding me?!

    That means that we most likely have no other choice but go to the company where shit has hit the fan for my dysphoria…… Walgreens. 😢

    Just so that I can get this over with.

    My mom said that she’ll explain to them for not calling me anything feminine and my pronouns and that everything has been updated in their system (as male, not nonbinary though.. stupid U.S. IDs making me choose binary options, and my preferred clinic has a nonbinary option!!!)… it’s a different Walgreens because fuck the other ones.

    But still, going there makes me feel like hell. I’m already crying from the thought of having to go to one again. Walgreens has made my dysphoria horrible while I was there (I was misgendered in front of everyone!!). Not to mention that one of my other triggers will be brought up because of the signs for the vaccine shots (please no one say the name).

    I’m not okay 🥲

    /vneg

    #GenderDysphoria #SocialAnxiety #sad #anger #IsThisTrauma #Upset #Anxiety #FluShot

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    New Here

    So I went to look up how to decrease suicidal ideation, then found this app. Since I've been having suicidal ideation a lot for the past few months. Mostly passive but they were really high yesterday. I have a lot of trauma, have been emotionally abused.

    I'm in a PHP program and I just wanna get better, even tho I constantly feel awful about myself since I've been with a narcassitic abuser for 5 years. I cut him off a few months ago, so my mental health just spiraled. I also thought I was over him since we broke up in 2019, but remained friends until recently. But I wasn't over him, I still loved him. I just suppressed it. Was pretty obvious too since I got jealous, constantly wanted to please him and was obsessed with him. Was not healthy but I was able to cut him off.

    I really just wanna be happy with myself again after dealing with all his invalidation for so long. I just feel worthless. Like nobody is gonna want me even in a platonic relationship.

    So it affects me a lot. I just hope I can fully heal from it. I wish one day I can find someone who makes me happy in a healthy relationship. #Abuse #Upset #New

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    When everything seems to go wrong around you

    As far back as I can remember many things have gone wrong. In recent years I’ve often considered that I’m the common denominator. Maybe I’m the one that attracts destruction and those who would likely cause harm.

    Does anyone else experience things frequently going wrong around them? Problems in relationships and at work? People getting hurt or suddenly dying or their life falls apart?

    #Depression #frustrated #Upset #AnxietySymptoms #Relationships #Work #Problems #Guilt

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    Does anyone else hyperfixate?

    In the last six years of my life I have lost my fiancé, my dream career, my health and my independence. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to describe how devastating it is to experience not just one, but ALL of these.

    I’m an avid reader - often getting lost in my books for hours and hours. I’m a gamer - I’ll immerse myself in an MMORPG (Massive Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game) for hours and hours. I’m a writer… And I’ll lose myself in my notes, or in the paragraphs I write.

    My family often poke fun at how easily I disappear into a completely different world. If they lived with the pain I feel every single day… If they lived with my misery and depression… They’d do absolutely anything they could to forget about the real world. I used to think that hyperfixating was a pain in the ass - I’d never get anything useful or meaningful done. But now? It’s my lifeline. The only thing that keeps me sane. And I’m sick of people judging me for doing whatever I can to stop myself from feeling like I just want to fade out of existence. I’m so very tired… So weary. I’ve had enough of them.

    #chronicillnesswarrior #ChronicPain #POTS #AutonomicDysfunction #EDS #NAFLD #BPD #Diabetes #InterstitialCystitis #Migraines #Depression #Hyperfixation #Hyperfixating #sad #Upset #exhausted #tired

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    October is Tough

    #Anxiety just does not seem to go away for me lately. I have been feeling very struck-out. There are a lot of things going on for me this month and I somewhat feel #overwhelmed with a bunch of #Stress .

    Tomorrow I go back to work after my weekend off, and it doesn't entirely feel good. I had left #Work early on Sunday and therefore had about 3 days off. But I spent most of it being #Upset and #depressed because of the personal nonsense going on in my life.

    I know we all have issues.. and life sucks sometimes. I know we all pull through it because we are #Stronger than we know. With #Bipolar being at my mind all the time and random running #Thoughts , I cannot seem to really pin myself down. I hate it when I feel alone even when I am not alone. It would be nice to find more people around me who can #understand me.

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    First post. I know it’s not much, but I don’t want to exist anymore.

    I wish I could erase such intense feelings. I wish I didn’t feel anything at all. I wish I never existed. #venting #depressed #Upset #resentful #Jealousy

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    Anyone else keep things to themselves in hopes it won't upset others?

    Does anyone try to keep their emotions or physical pain to themselves?
    I try not to be a burden, but then my husband will try and make me feel better, but also make me feel worse at the same time. For example, he will tell me that im getting worse as I'm falling more, cursing more etc...but then 30 seconds later will blame it on the fact I'm not "physically fit" or that I have a "bad/poor" nutritional health 🙄.
    So today hasn't been a walk in the park like it would be for some. I've laughed, I've cried, I've even thought about the tempting idea of starving to see if that would help.
    I slipped down the stairs for the 2nd this this week, and its only Thursday!
    I'm still awaiting my results from my MRI I had a few months ago. Im praying I don't have any underlying such as #MultipleSclerosis and it is just my #Fibromyalgia playing up.
    My heads a shed, and I'm not sure what to do. I'll survive this i know i will. But like I said above, i hate to be a burden. And I'm sorry if I've upset anyone.
    #mentalhealthmatters #Depression #Anxiety #Upset #MRI #PTSD #alone

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    My dog says hello and he wants everyone to know if anyone is having a hard time he will give as many kisses as needed to help cheer you up.

    #Doglove #Depression #Upset #cronicpain #cronicillness

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    Genuine (unrestrained) Laughter Sends (dysfunctional) Mom Running

    That moment when you and your sister are genuinely laughing hysterically for the first time in so long and your mom comes running in and shuts it down because she isn’t used to the sound of your unrestrained laughter and it “scared” her. Needless to say laughter was replaced by sadness/upset quickly.
    Kind words, or anything would be very appreciated.
    #Toxic #DysfunctionalFamily #dysfunctional #sad #Upset

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    #Fibromyalgia #fibroflare #nosleep #brutal #Pain #ChronicPain

    I'm screaming right now ~ my face is all twisted &screwed up & I can't feel any joy today. Darn it. I try be positive, but I feel like I might be slipping...... #nojoy #Upset #sufferingbadly #cantbearit #AGONY #Torture #Fibromyalgia The 24/7 chronic all over my body pain is so extreme right now I want & need an out.😔