My first sister she committed suicide
My second sister on verge of marriage breakup and almost separated for a year
My third sister got aborted before her marriage and was cheated by this boyfriend of her
Me myself always been verbally abused by my father, bullied in school time, college friends made me betrayal and put me into disastrously bad image, my professors went silent upon asking for career help, my family members gone unsupportive during my job time when it was hard to push self for work everyday, I wasted all my savings into a rubbish Coaching class which I never wanted to pursue and I am still struggling with my own likes and things which I want to do and not to do, which also includes identifying my sexuality
My Young brother is started going dumb after his 10th grade, suffuled schools in the same year for four times, started pursuing and changing profession one after other soon after completing his graduation and now working for to open businesses
My father is looking for his treatment from one year and planning for surgery which is gonna cost us both my money and his life if it goes fail
My mother is there not able to make any decisions and even not willing to because of all this going through inside the family, she got already operated for three times with major surgeries and now going sick because of touching menopause and old age.
My nephew and my second sisters son is now our responsibility means my father's and mother's and if one of them or both dies then it becomes mine responsibility.
And there my third sister is going to give birth to a baby soon so her first child also comes to our family side with more responsibility.
And here I am still jobless living bullshit life failing myself on purpose day by day seriously on purposefully day by day, avoiding every chance to stand for myself just because these people should be safe and not get any trouble if I leave them and go to work for far. And yet I am not able to cry for any of the things happening around and this cries also goes to my younger brother.
What shit I am into and why I am still waiting for this mess to be clear one day. I am in dead pain and want to yell so much about it. That no fuck you guys I really don't want to join your mess created by you, I have so much going in my own personal life. I wanna go...... Fuck your shit on your own I really don't wanna give damn about it. Fuck u fuck u fuck fuck u everyone I met so far and been with so far . Made my life disastrously bad because of this shitty thought you were imposing upon me.
Story doesn't end here there is money demanding family relatives of our who eyes on us for most Penny and besides they're sexist and child abusive even sexually and ready to make us live like a fool.
I want to avoid this bad journey of my life and start new , just wanted to to cry once and never for it . When I am gonna be out of it and tell everyone that your cruelty didn't killed me also caged my soul. I just want to free.