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How to even have more faith in society? | TW mentions of exclusionism, some swearing, some all caps











I'm LGBTQ+. I'm transmasc non-binary. I'm otherkin (not human). I'm Black. I have autism (please don't call my autism a disorder/disability/syndrome) and anxiety, and someone with trauma. I cry very easily. I am overweight. I am a part of a plural/collective. I am non-romantically polyamorous. And every damn day, I feel like this world called society is just here to for the sole purpose to shit on others, betray others, or just to secretly judge others, including me.

Every day, it is getting much harder and harder to believe that there is a single damn individual out there (other than my current therapist, all of my partners, my dad, and a few friends) who has common sense, is open-hearted, is open-minded, and doesn't like to discriminate or invalidate others for being different or for experiencing different things, or labeling themselves differently. Sometimes, the anxiety gets to the point where it seems like going out is stupid for me. What's the point?

It's like almost every damn community I've been a part of (and left) and witnessed just LOVES to INVALIDATE OTHERS SOMEHOW?! It's so annoying and stupid and it's just like... why can't you just fucking accept someone for who they are??? All of this just makes me so fucking angry and just...!!

...Sigh. Now that that's off my chest... may I ask for advice on how to go about this? I already currently seeing a therapist, luckily. Right now, it is very very hard for me to get off this mindset because I believe it's true, sadly.. this society and all of other individuals' opinions is tearing me apart..

#MyAutismIsNotADisorder #MentalHealth #helpme #Vent #venting #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #SocialAnxietyDisorder #anger #help #Society #Advice #triggerwarning #Neurodiversity #LGBTQIA #plural #otherkin

22 reactions 5 comments

Send help

I have so many panick attacks and anger outbursts during which I threaten to k*ll myself. It scares the hell out of me. I'm ruining all the wonderful friendships I have, I get closer thinking they'll be my saviour, and the only one forever by my side, then when they get close I run away, become rude and give them the silent treatment. I haven't been diagnosed with BPD yet, but seems I show some signs. I just see no solution, I'm scared I'll die. Please, somebody help me. Can a kind soul suggest me what to do? I'm going crazy.

Stay strong y'all!

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #PanicAttacks #anger

3 reactions 2 comments
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So angry

I had an appointment with my neurologist scheduled for today. I scheduled it 2 months ago. This appointment was for figuring out why I get migraines so often.

I ordered transportation 10 minutes early. At the point they were supposed to be here, they called me to say they were still 36 minutes away from me. It takes about 35 minutes to get to the office.

So I had to reschedule the appointment. The soonest they can see me is October 23rd. I'm not happy with that.

I'm so fed up with transportation doing this to me. I am just a very angry puppy right now. I talked with my mom about it and she was angry too. #anger #frustration #CheckInWithMe #appointment #Migraine

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I've never been good at describing my emotions, since childhood I repressed everything, for it was too much to bear. And it still is. I can't recognize my feelings and I'm overwhelmed by them. Especially by loneliness and anger. Today it seems so hard that I ask myself if it's still worth trying. I don't know anymore. I'm so confused. #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Loneliness #anger #PTSD

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Hard Part of Healing

Hardest part of healing right now is recognizing the shit you tolerated from friends, coworkers, family, and even spouses. As you begin to recover and realize your worth outside of people pleasing…. You start to see how you were taken advantage of. How you were mistreated…. How you were taken for granted.

You get mad at them for how they behaved… you get mad at yourself for letting it happen. I have to fight the urge to be petty, to get revenge, to be spiteful. But it’s so hard….

And then I wonder, is it worth it….

#ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Recovery #anger

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Random Anger

Have you ever been angry and yelled at someone you love. Like to a caretaker or someone you take care of that's sick. For no reason even you just explode with anger then guilt sets in. #Anxiety #anger # frustrated
# chronic illness 😠💢😬😤🥴😳😿🙀🤐

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What to do?

I’m angry. I’m so angry on that people always use me. They don’t think about my emotions while I give all of myself to think about theirs. I’m loosing control over my anger and don’t know what to do anymore. I’m calming myself but anger is still inside. I have an appointment with my therapist in 6 days and I don’t know what to do until that. I don’t want my anger go undercontrol, but I’m loosing it. I’m scared that I’ll do something bad in these 6 days. I’m in such a box of stress and anger, that scares me. I’ve read and tried all things to calm myself. If someone has experience with controling anger I would like it to share with me. (In coment or in private) Thanks 🌷
#anger #Angerissues #Advice #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

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My turn: My chance to share my story

I'm a 35 year old masters degree recipient who comes from an abusive and neglectful family. I almost didn’t survive my childhood, spent years in hospitals, and am now expecting to start receiving ECT in the coming months. #shock #denial #anger #Bargaining #Depression #testing #Acceptance

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Scream, yell, punch, scream

I want to scream and yell and punch and scream. Then, i dissociate and see myself screaming and yelling and punching and screaming and crying. I used to do this in real life. When I was younger I had a lot of frustrations that I needed to let out. I would go for long walks in my neighborhood and along a golf course. Then one day I found a brick wall hidden from other bystanders to see. When upset, i would go there. It was maybe a 30 minute walk from my house. I would go there and scream and punch the wall repeatedly and cry. As I got older this act of outlashing began to unleach. When I felt too much anger or fear I started punching people in the middle of conversations. I even let it out on my ex husband. It was to the point where I would black out and not remember doing but I would see the results minutes later. So, I stopped. I kept it in. Having cut up fists and hurt loved ones was no way to live. I started to dissociate. I would go in my mind and forget where I was actually standing. Many say I looked spaced out. At those times I am. I do not see what I am actually looking at. I only see what my brain is visualizing. In my head I would be somewhere screaming and punching and crying. I didn't think I could do it in real life anymore so I did it in my mind. But at one point this turned very dark. Dark to the point where I started visualizing myself die and others die and me kill them or they kill themselves. Until one day I wanted to actually do it. I attempted and it was unsuccessful. All I could do was laugh. Laugh hysterical. Because it seemed as if nothing worked. I couldn't scream. I couldn't punch. I couldn't cry. I couldn't even kill myself. All I can do is laugh. So now I go through my days laughing because it actually makes me feel good. Many see me and wonder what am I laughing about. Well, do I need something to laugh about. I just laugh because if I don't I might scream or yell or hit something. #Anxiety #Depression #anger #BipolarDisorder #scream #yell #punch #cry

6 reactions 3 comments