anger

° " I Was Forced To Stay An Extra Hour Later Because My Boss Was Complaining That She Didn't Have Anyone To Register. It Was Only Her... The Shift Leader And Me And An Older Co-worker... I Hate That It's Alway's Me... That Never Get's My Lunch Break's That's Made To Stay Cleaning Up After Other's... And The Only One That Get's Constantly Called Into Work... And Who Is Constantly Gossiped About Daily... Idk What I Did To Deserve All Of This B.S. And Most Of My Co-Worker's... Are Truly Racist And Discriminating Against Me All The Time... I'm So Just Tired Of People To Be Honest.. I Have The Most Two-Faced Boss Ever Because She Alway's Tell's Me That She Understand's What I Go Through... Um No You Don't You Overworked And Overwhelmed Me.. And Are Only Super Nice To Me.. When It's Only Convenient For Yourself..." ° Sincerely, S.K
#Thoughts #anger

For the past few days, I couldn't stop thinking about the people I called friends. I've grieved those friendships for so long, but now I'm angry. I think about all that I did to try to keep these friends: the people pleasing, saying yes when I wanted to say no, abandoning myself because I didn't think my real self wasn't good enough... only to be made fun of behind my back and being left out. I understood that I couldn't be apart of everything, but all along I felt like an outsider. I couldn't blame them for all the bad because I've had my hand in things, but it became painfully obvious that I didn't belong with them. If I could do it again, I can truly say that I wouldn't change anything because it has helped me to piece together what my deepest issues are. But I will say that the person I am today wouldn't tolerate that. It's just that now that I know better, I wish I didn't hide so much of myself to fit in in places that I knew good and well that I didn't belong. #MentalHealth #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Friends #anger

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There’s just so many things wrong with this damn planet. My mind decides to go through all the bullshit and how I think about it/respond to it nearly every morning and nearly every afternoon, and it’s driving me crazy.

Most folk drive me crazy. I believe that most folk are terrible, ignorant, gatekeepers, hyprocrites when they say that they support others, hypocrites when they say that others can be themselves, and find anything they don’t see in their eye “normal” a stigma, weird, a disorder, or “cringe” (I despise that word especially), and no one can convince me otherwise because I can’t trust most folk because of what I’ve witnessed… I’m sorry.

It’s causing me a headache now which I didn’t fucking ask for. Oh well.

#Anxiety #MyAutismIsNotADisorder #SocialAnxiety #anger #Society #Ugh

Who else deals with aggression and anger during mania? What you do about it? I need advice. Thank you.

#Mania #BipolarDisorder #anger

I’m a bad mom. I struggle with bipolar anxiety and depression. I’m a mess in my head and I’m not doing well. 💔 I have a boy. He’s 9. He’s aware of everything now. My mood swings. My bad days. My bad moments. But now it’s pouring over to him. I found myself being cold towards him. Not showing affection. Being mean I woke up on the wrong side of bed. Snapping at him….for him to tell me he’s sorry he made me sad💔🥺 he is sorry….I am bawling my eyes out right now. Because I couldn’t say I was sorry I just sent him off to school…..him feeling sad and neglected wondering what he did wrong …..and it’s my fault 😭😭😭😭 help me please I feel so ugly I can’t stop crying. What do I fo when I pick him up from school? How can I make this right!?💔💔💔💔 I just want to be a better mom. I’m sorry 😭😭😭 #Parenting #anger #Anxiety #Depression

I had a confrontation with my dorm roommate the other night. We had an inside joke between the two of us, but I had reached the point where I no longer found the joke to be amusing anymore. I’ve made this known, with no effect; over time, my responses have turned more blunt, aggressive even. I’ve even made a few threatening statements; while I had zero intention of following through, my hope was that if he thought I would, then maybe he’d stop. Well, the other night, this reach a breaking point, and I actually literally yelled at him. He was clearly shocked, as he has yet to see me get to this point. I went to my room to cool off, and once I was sure he was back in his room, I came back out. After coming back out briefly, he said that he couldn’t wait until he was living somewhere where “he wasn’t’t physically threatened.” This statement gave me the impression that he was actually angry with me, so I left for a while to give myself — and him — some space. After a while, we did talk over the phone, and I came back to the dorm, Mountain Dew in hand as something of a peace offering . . . An olive branch, figuratively speaking. Nevertheless, I cannot shake the feeling of guilt that I’m experiencing . . . Even after he acknowledged that he’s no longer upset . . . Even after downing three shots of whiskey yesterday afternoon . . . Even after watching a movie last night at the movie theatre . . . For some reason, I cannot seem to forget what I did . . . Guess this is the disadvantage of morality and the curse of my ASD. #Autism #EmotionalDysregulation #anger #struggling #copingmechanisms

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I'm so mad. The vent I made didn't get uploaded. I've spent so much time writing it, I can't believe
it didn't upload. It pains me to have to write all of this again.

Firstly, I was sad about another vent post
because it didn't get any reactions. So I deleted
it. It's funny how I say to myself that I don't care
if I don't get any reactions, yet get said when it
actually doesn't get any. I'm sorry for feeling this
way.

Now onto school trauma. I'm 20 and I don't think
that I'll ever finish high school. Not even through
online. I dropped out junior year. They don't
even give a crap about mental health, anyway.
Plus, I'm non-binary, not a girl or boy, and not
many schools, let alone online schools, even have gender neutral options or are even truly that inclusive towards everyone. It's annoying!

I've cried way too many times. I've gotten
suicidal way too many times as well. Especially in
high school. Everytime the teacher gotten upset
with the class or whenever I've gotten unfair
demerits, I wanted out. Those "zero excuses", "watch your character", and those picture comparisons boards of "be sad and dwell on it or
be happy and do something about it" felt mocking to me and felt like I was in prison. There
was absolutely nothing I could do about it except taking off days, not to mention that I was only allowed to take up to 22 to not FAIL. Not to
mention that trying to get the best grades and
being recognized was a trap fallen by myself as
well.

I've gotten a 3-hour detention once for forgetting my gym shows. Gym Shoes! And
everytime I didn't finish my homework (because
of being depressed and having no motivation to
do anything from school), it was 45 minutes
after school just to finish homework, and a 45
minute bus drive home. And yes, I was suicidal
those times, too.

I was on the 504 program this whole time (I have
autism and anxiety), and I received two unfair
demerits for being late returning back to class
because SOME FOLKS used my stuff without my
fucking permission and I was trying to find them.
My "counselor" said to me "you know it's rude to
not talk when someone's talking to you?" I was
already crying in one of the bathroom stalls. I
have fucking social anxiety and autism!! She
knew that!!! Don't. Ever. Force. Me. To. Talk!

Gym class was the absolute worst. So bad that I
was allowed to no longer go there. So bad that I
brokedown when I heard that I had to go down
there for studying for a PE test. Then
I was taken off for the rest of the day and the
next day. However... that one substitute teacher
that the school even had the fucking audacity to
hire again was the worst. He was power-hungry
and everytime one of us doesn't follow a rule or
gets upset with him, he makes all of us do
exercises or would add minutes to an excercise.
You had no idea how much that made me boil.

Not to mention that because I failed one of the
three tests in PE (running a whole mile) in
freshmen year, I had to go to a horrid bootcamp
for 5 days. Fours days with that same horrible
substitute teacher that 1, and I'm pretty sure
every other student there, absolutely despised. He even threatened us to go through some
exercises for not knowing some answers to
movie questions!! Who does that?!?!

My parents were not happy about anything my
high school had to offer, either, especially the
bootcamp. And I got a freaking A in PE but I
guess the tests were more important 😑. Middle
school was shit, too, though pretty less strict. It
was mainly the classmates acting up and the
teacher raising their voice for me. And some
bullies.

I really want to warn everyone about these
schools. I do not recommend these schools at all,
especially if you're neurodivergent. These
schools caused me so much stress and trauma
that I don't even want to finish it. Not even online. And I'm 20 now. I was literally crying
earlier writing this because of the pain that it
has caused me over the years.

#HighSchool #School #Anxiety #Autism #SocialAnxiety #generalizedanxiety #Trauma #SchoolTrauma #anger #sad #SchoolPleaseListenToThis #MentalHealth #venting #Vent

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Is the government really that stupid enough to think that I can work??

I have way too many triggers. I literally despise being called a girl or “ma’am” or “she”. I’M FREAKING NON-BINARY! Even though I’m also transmasc, I’M NOT JUST A BOY! I literally despise the line “ladies and gentlemen”. I have no time to put up with any drama crap. I will most likely quit my first job pretty quickly. And I don’t want to deal with all the freaking haters that hate me or bully me for no good reason. Screw that.

And some of the shit my past therapists said about me was either over-exaggerated or false about me doing good. Like I never said some of those things that I said. Just freaking because I said that I may be doing good ONLY meant AT THAT MOMENT!

Why even depend on the government for our rights?? I know myself better than they fucking know me. I’m an anarchist, and I believe that you should have public access or just instant rights regardless without having to depend on higher power who barely even know you and take forever to make things legalized (even though I despise my autism being called a disability or disorder). I want instant change, not wait 10 years for it! (/vsrs)

Anyway. 😞

#mad #LGBTQIA #anger #government #why #unfair #Anxiety #Autism #rights

I have suffering form anxiety , form small thing I tense and palms get sweat, I couldn't lead complete lfe with my family and at work as well, I have consulted various drs and I fed up with medication side-effects, the thing more troubling insomnia...onceI get in to bed, rumination will happen and get out the bed, eat some junk food then sleep very late, this is badly affecting my day productivity.#Insomnia #palms sweat

#Sleep #PanicAttacks #anger