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    ° " Sooo I Got Home Extremely Angry.. " ° #Thought 's

    ° " I Was Forced To Stay An Extra Hour Later Because My Boss Was Complaining That She Didn't Have Anyone To Register. It Was Only Her... The Shift Leader And Me And An Older Co-worker... I Hate That It's Alway's Me... That Never Get's My Lunch Break's That's Made To Stay Cleaning Up After Other's... And The Only One That Get's Constantly Called Into Work... And Who Is Constantly Gossiped About Daily... Idk What I Did To Deserve All Of This B.S. And Most Of My Co-Worker's... Are Truly Racist And Discriminating Against Me All The Time... I'm So Just Tired Of People To Be Honest.. I Have The Most Two-Faced Boss Ever Because She Alway's Tell's Me That She Understand's What I Go Through... Um No You Don't You Overworked And Overwhelmed Me.. And Are Only Super Nice To Me.. When It's Only Convenient For Yourself..." ° Sincerely, S.K
    #Thoughts #anger


    The Past and Anger

    For the past few days, I couldn't stop thinking about the people I called friends. I've grieved those friendships for so long, but now I'm angry. I think about all that I did to try to keep these friends: the people pleasing, saying yes when I wanted to say no, abandoning myself because I didn't think my real self wasn't good enough... only to be made fun of behind my back and being left out. I understood that I couldn't be apart of everything, but all along I felt like an outsider. I couldn't blame them for all the bad because I've had my hand in things, but it became painfully obvious that I didn't belong with them. If I could do it again, I can truly say that I wouldn't change anything because it has helped me to piece together what my deepest issues are. But I will say that the person I am today wouldn't tolerate that. It's just that now that I know better, I wish I didn't hide so much of myself to fit in in places that I knew good and well that I didn't belong. #MentalHealth #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Friends #anger

    33 reactions 5 comments

    I’m so sick of thinking of all the negative bullcrap pretty much every day | TW swearing #venting

    There’s just so many things wrong with this damn planet. My mind decides to go through all the bullshit and how I think about it/respond to it nearly every morning and nearly every afternoon, and it’s driving me crazy.

    Most folk drive me crazy. I believe that most folk are terrible, ignorant, gatekeepers, hyprocrites when they say that they support others, hypocrites when they say that others can be themselves, and find anything they don’t see in their eye “normal” a stigma, weird, a disorder, or “cringe” (I despise that word especially), and no one can convince me otherwise because I can’t trust most folk because of what I’ve witnessed… I’m sorry.

    It’s causing me a headache now which I didn’t fucking ask for. Oh well.

    #Anxiety #MyAutismIsNotADisorder #SocialAnxiety #anger #Society #Ugh

    4 reactions 2 comments

    Handling Mania and Anger #BipolarDisorder

    Who else deals with aggression and anger during mania? What you do about it? I need advice. Thank you.

    #Mania #BipolarDisorder #anger

    1 reaction

    Please help 💔 #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression

    I’m a bad mom. I struggle with bipolar anxiety and depression. I’m a mess in my head and I’m not doing well. 💔 I have a boy. He’s 9. He’s aware of everything now. My mood swings. My bad days. My bad moments. But now it’s pouring over to him. I found myself being cold towards him. Not showing affection. Being mean I woke up on the wrong side of bed. Snapping at him….for him to tell me he’s sorry he made me sad💔🥺 he is sorry….I am bawling my eyes out right now. Because I couldn’t say I was sorry I just sent him off to school…..him feeling sad and neglected wondering what he did wrong …..and it’s my fault 😭😭😭😭 help me please I feel so ugly I can’t stop crying. What do I fo when I pick him up from school? How can I make this right!?💔💔💔💔 I just want to be a better mom. I’m sorry 😭😭😭 #Parenting #anger #Anxiety #Depression

    191 reactions 33 comments

    When My Emotions Get the Better of Me, and My ASD Feels Like A Curse Rather Than A Blessing

    I had a confrontation with my dorm roommate the other night. We had an inside joke between the two of us, but I had reached the point where I no longer found the joke to be amusing anymore. I’ve made this known, with no effect; over time, my responses have turned more blunt, aggressive even. I’ve even made a few threatening statements; while I had zero intention of following through, my hope was that if he thought I would, then maybe he’d stop. Well, the other night, this reach a breaking point, and I actually literally yelled at him. He was clearly shocked, as he has yet to see me get to this point. I went to my room to cool off, and once I was sure he was back in his room, I came back out. After coming back out briefly, he said that he couldn’t wait until he was living somewhere where “he wasn’t’t physically threatened.” This statement gave me the impression that he was actually angry with me, so I left for a while to give myself — and him — some space. After a while, we did talk over the phone, and I came back to the dorm, Mountain Dew in hand as something of a peace offering . . . An olive branch, figuratively speaking. Nevertheless, I cannot shake the feeling of guilt that I’m experiencing . . . Even after he acknowledged that he’s no longer upset . . . Even after downing three shots of whiskey yesterday afternoon . . . Even after watching a movie last night at the movie theatre . . . For some reason, I cannot seem to forget what I did . . . Guess this is the disadvantage of morality and the curse of my ASD. #Autism #EmotionalDysregulation #anger #struggling #copingmechanisms


    Great start to the morning.……. /very sarcastic/ neg| TW school, swearing, mention of past suicidal thoughts, a mention of ableism, a few all caps

    I'm so mad. The vent I made didn't get uploaded. I've spent so much time writing it, I can't believe
    it didn't upload. It pains me to have to write all of this again.

    Firstly, I was sad about another vent post
    because it didn't get any reactions. So I deleted
    it. It's funny how I say to myself that I don't care
    if I don't get any reactions, yet get said when it
    actually doesn't get any. I'm sorry for feeling this

    Now onto school trauma. I'm 20 and I don't think
    that I'll ever finish high school. Not even through
    online. I dropped out junior year. They don't
    even give a crap about mental health, anyway.
    Plus, I'm non-binary, not a girl or boy, and not
    many schools, let alone online schools, even have gender neutral options or are even truly that inclusive towards everyone. It's annoying!

    I've cried way too many times. I've gotten
    suicidal way too many times as well. Especially in
    high school. Everytime the teacher gotten upset
    with the class or whenever I've gotten unfair
    demerits, I wanted out. Those "zero excuses", "watch your character", and those picture comparisons boards of "be sad and dwell on it or
    be happy and do something about it" felt mocking to me and felt like I was in prison. There
    was absolutely nothing I could do about it except taking off days, not to mention that I was only allowed to take up to 22 to not FAIL. Not to
    mention that trying to get the best grades and
    being recognized was a trap fallen by myself as

    I've gotten a 3-hour detention once for forgetting my gym shows. Gym Shoes! And
    everytime I didn't finish my homework (because
    of being depressed and having no motivation to
    do anything from school), it was 45 minutes
    after school just to finish homework, and a 45
    minute bus drive home. And yes, I was suicidal
    those times, too.

    I was on the 504 program this whole time (I have
    autism and anxiety), and I received two unfair
    demerits for being late returning back to class
    because SOME FOLKS used my stuff without my
    fucking permission and I was trying to find them.
    My "counselor" said to me "you know it's rude to
    not talk when someone's talking to you?" I was
    already crying in one of the bathroom stalls. I
    have fucking social anxiety and autism!! She
    knew that!!! Don't. Ever. Force. Me. To. Talk!

    Gym class was the absolute worst. So bad that I
    was allowed to no longer go there. So bad that I
    brokedown when I heard that I had to go down
    there for studying for a PE test. Then
    I was taken off for the rest of the day and the
    next day. However... that one substitute teacher
    that the school even had the fucking audacity to
    hire again was the worst. He was power-hungry
    and everytime one of us doesn't follow a rule or
    gets upset with him, he makes all of us do
    exercises or would add minutes to an excercise.
    You had no idea how much that made me boil.

    Not to mention that because I failed one of the
    three tests in PE (running a whole mile) in
    freshmen year, I had to go to a horrid bootcamp
    for 5 days. Fours days with that same horrible
    substitute teacher that 1, and I'm pretty sure
    every other student there, absolutely despised. He even threatened us to go through some
    exercises for not knowing some answers to
    movie questions!! Who does that?!?!

    My parents were not happy about anything my
    high school had to offer, either, especially the
    bootcamp. And I got a freaking A in PE but I
    guess the tests were more important 😑. Middle
    school was shit, too, though pretty less strict. It
    was mainly the classmates acting up and the
    teacher raising their voice for me. And some

    I really want to warn everyone about these
    schools. I do not recommend these schools at all,
    especially if you're neurodivergent. These
    schools caused me so much stress and trauma
    that I don't even want to finish it. Not even online. And I'm 20 now. I was literally crying
    earlier writing this because of the pain that it
    has caused me over the years.

    #HighSchool #School #Anxiety #Autism #SocialAnxiety #generalizedanxiety #Trauma #SchoolTrauma #anger #sad #SchoolPleaseListenToThis #MentalHealth #venting #Vent

    13 reactions 6 comments

    I’m still mad at the government… and at my last therapists | TW some caps, two swears #venting

    Is the government really that stupid enough to think that I can work??

    I have way too many triggers. I literally despise being called a girl or “ma’am” or “she”. I’M FREAKING NON-BINARY! Even though I’m also transmasc, I’M NOT JUST A BOY! I literally despise the line “ladies and gentlemen”. I have no time to put up with any drama crap. I will most likely quit my first job pretty quickly. And I don’t want to deal with all the freaking haters that hate me or bully me for no good reason. Screw that.

    And some of the shit my past therapists said about me was either over-exaggerated or false about me doing good. Like I never said some of those things that I said. Just freaking because I said that I may be doing good ONLY meant AT THAT MOMENT!

    Why even depend on the government for our rights?? I know myself better than they fucking know me. I’m an anarchist, and I believe that you should have public access or just instant rights regardless without having to depend on higher power who barely even know you and take forever to make things legalized (even though I despise my autism being called a disability or disorder). I want instant change, not wait 10 years for it! (/vsrs)

    Anyway. 😞

    #mad #LGBTQIA #anger #government #why #unfair #Anxiety #Autism #rights

    6 reactions 2 comments


    I have suffering form anxiety , form small thing I tense and palms get sweat, I couldn't lead complete lfe with my family and at work as well, I have consulted various drs and I fed up with medication side-effects, the thing more troubling insomnia...onceI get in to bed, rumination will happen and get out the bed, eat some junk food then sleep very late, this is badly affecting my day productivity.#Insomnia #palms sweat

    #Sleep #PanicAttacks #anger

    3 reactions 1 comment