festivefear

Today is another day. It's one of those days, It's a day where I haven't showered in at least 24hrs and I don't feel up to washing thr dishes in my sink that are slowly piling up. It's a day where feeding my cat is a tough task and all the garbage seems to pile up way too quickly. It's a day where the floor feels and looks dirty but even the thought of vacuuming is exhuasting. I live in a 1 bedroom townhouse on a street that is absolutely beautiful, all my neighbours are lovely and I have an army of friends and support, It's just after christmas and just before New Year but these days where I am not sure of who I am and where I am going. I do have some purpose ands plans to inact, I have a list a mile long of things I need to do but my body aches and screams at me and my mind seems too hazy for a clear thought to break through. Today is a day, like any other day to everyone else but i have to remind myself that no matter what I do or don't do that it's ok, I know that if I tried to do anything and get overwhlemed that thats just the way it is. But it doesn't quell the anger and frustration that bubbles deep inside me, that this body, this young body is now disabled and will never be the body I once used so carelessly.

#EDSAwareness #EDS   #MentalHealth #Disabled #Disabledandalone
#Livingalone #FestiveSeason #festivefear #EhlersDanlos #missmyabledbody

Festive Fear

I'm scared
I cannot lie
Another year gone
Flying quickly byou

So much sorrow
Only a little cheer
Too much food eaten
And I am alone here

Feeling left out
Away from the herd
Migrating away
Like the lost baby bird

Too late I am
To join the party
Where they are full of cheer
And laughing heartily

So here I sit
On Christmas eve night
Alone once more
And full of fright

On the day I won't be on my own
But in a crowded room
Yet I'll still be alone in my mind
Amidst my cloud of gloom

I must break out
Of this cycle of dismay
Others are worse off
No matter how they might pray

So I feel a warmth in my heart
I am NOT alone
Right now no one is here
But watch me pick up the phone!

#MightyPoets