flyingphobia

There are four main components involved in overcoming fear of flying: normalization, underlying issues, emotional regulation, and passenger flying education. Each one addresses a separate and relevant pathway that feeds fear of flying. I won't go into all four in this post. However, for each person, it varies what's presently needed. It all depends on where you are emotionally, your own history, and your own experiences. It isn't step-by-step, as much as it is understanding where your needs are in order to help you feel comfortable to fly.

Normalization and Decreasing Flying Phobia

Normalization is an important element of being able to resolve flying anxiety. The concept of normalization is to be able to emotionally experience the normalcy and routine nature of something so your brain and emotions don't react like there's a catastrophe about to happen. Even if there is technically some variable risk in many parts of life, we are able to do things every day that have risk in them because we experience them as normalized. We know that driving has a much, much greater statistical risk attached to it than flying. However, it's easy for many people who fear flying to still get into their cars every day and drive multiple times per day because it's so normalized that the brain doesn't react to it as a threat. You may know there's risk, but emotionally it's become an every day routine that you can trust.

With flying phobia, most people who have a fear of flying have not been able to normalize the experience in this way. This can be for a few reasons. Therapists for cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) would tell you that you just need exposure. But I'll tell you now that traditional CBT does not tend to work well for fear of flying. First of all, it's not possible to provide people enough appropriate exposure with flying unless you can fly regularly (on a weekly basis at least), or get past security in an airport without flying. However, even if you could in theory make this happen, many people come to me who do fly regularly for work and still feel anxious about flying every time they travel. Every time they land they feel they've just gotten lucky and it's a sigh of relief. Exposure on its own doesn't create normalization.

Blocked Normalization

When people aren't able to internalize normalization, it's usually because there is something underlying that is blocking it. Getting to the underlying issues reinforcing your fear of flying is another main component of overcoming this phobia. For everybody, it is different what's happening underneath the surface that is feeding the fear, but it's imperative that what's bolstering your flying anxiety is understood and worked through so you can make room for the normalization. The underlying component is the part of the process that brings the rest together. Removing the underlying blocks while working on the normalization opens the space to internalize normalization, which ultimately allows you to feel more like you're just getting in the car to go from one place to another, rather than a daunting feeling of dread or fear of catastrophe that can appear with getting on an airplane (or can keep you from getting on the plane).

Reverse Normalization

Another part of what reinforces fear of flying for people is the idea of reverse normalization. This is when you are exposed to more negative images and stories about flying than positive, and it leads you to understand flying as dangerous. The images that people often have in their minds of the scary things they imagine can happen, or things they see on tv or in the movies, or even stories in the media that call up these scary images is part of this. This leads to blocking and even undoing normalization. So part of achieving normalization is helping you to be able to let go of the images you may carry about flying while bringing in positive engagement with flying.

Fear of Flying is Emotional -- Not Logical

When flying is normalized, you're able to experience it in your body and emotionally as routine. It's worth knowing that flying phobia is rooted in emotions. You may know statistics, you may know everything about how flying works, you may have all the logical reasons that you'll be okay. But when you fear flying, your body may react before you even have the chance to slow it down. The emotions and body cannot align with what you logically know. This is why people can go into a flight equipped with logic, but then still find themselves afraid anyway.

When the attention is given to what you need emotionally, normalization to flying becomes possible. I have seen people come to either feel indifferent about flying -- where they fly and it's a just a mode of transportation -- to actually enjoying flying and wanting to do it more, even when they used to cancel flights and not get on the plane because it was once so scary. It is possible to overcome this fear.

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I have helped people overcome fear of flying for many years with the personalized approach I developed in my practice. There are a few phases of flying that tend to cause the most anxiety for people. Turbulence is one of the phases that seems to be scary nearly across the board for people who struggle with flying phobia. Occasionally, I do see people who are okay with turbulence, but still struggle with other parts of flying. However, turbulence is something that holds such a feeling of dread and creates panic of certain catastrophe for many.

Different Types of Fear of Turbulence

There are a number of reasons that turbulence can be so unsettling for people, and it often varies from person to person. Sometimes anxiety can come up when not understanding or knowing what is going on. However, it's worth noting that even when people understand it , it often isn't enough to stop the anxiety. Usually turbulence fears can really stir up deeper feelings beyond just not understanding. As I've written about previously, fear of flying is more of a "back of the brain" issue based on emotional responses. You can know all of the statistics in your favor, and you may know that turbulence is not a problem for airplanes. But no matter how much you know in the "front of your brain", the emotional part of you in your mind and body can't seem to align with what you mentally may know.

Anticipation of Turbulence

There are actually different aspects of turbulence that creates worry for people. It isn't just turbulence or no turbulence. For many people, the anticipation of turbulence has them on edge throughout cruise. You may be cruising gently for the majority of the flight, but you can't relax and you may even be paralyzed, waiting for that moment where it's all going to fall apart and the shoe is going to drop. For people in this area, you can't enjoy the moments where things are going fine because there is always a crisis about to happen, at any unknown moment.

Once turbulence starts, there may actually be a moment of slight gratification -- that you've been waiting for this to happen all along and you finally can stop wondering when it's going to happen. However, that gratification is quickly replaced by the anxiety of the unknown of how bad it's going to get.

Loss of Control

For other people, they may be fine in a calm and smooth flight, but the moment turbulence shows up they begin to feel fearful. As long as things are in control, they are calm and feel in control. But the moment bumps happen, they've now lost the feeling of control in the situation. You can't will the turbulence to stop, and you can't just leave the plane, either. This loss of control becomes experienced as an intense vulnerability for some -- one that they can usually avoid in life since there are usually ways to control their way away from the vulnerability in most situations. People in this category struggle to sit in the space of having to sit and wait for the situation to improve no matter how rough it gets.

People in this area tend to experience turbulence as more all-or-nothing. Either there is turbulence or there isn't -- in control or out of control. It's like an on-off switch of flying anxiety, and once the turbulence goes away, it's a sigh of relief because the feeling of control has returned.

Unpredictable Turbulence and the Unknown

Then there are other experiences of turbulence where it isn't so all-or-nothing, or anticipatory. For example, some do okay with certain patterns of turbulence. There might be a noticeable pattern of airplane movement that they can pick up on. Such as, the plane dips a little every ten seconds or so, and then bumps to the side a few seconds later before bumping back up a bit. This pattern repeats in a way that can become predictable. When there is a sense of predictability, this is a form of knowing and control and this can be okay with some people even though it's bumpy.

However, once the flying and turbulence pattern becomes unpredictable, this is when the anxiety comes back in. When the bumps become varied and you don't know which way the plane is going to move, or how much drop or movement will happen each time, it starts to feel like the worst is going to happen at any moment. Anything unpredictable or unknown becomes terrifying. Maybe it will drop too far, or maybe it will get bigger and stronger until it can't recover. For people in this area, the lack of predictability and being in the unknown is the most difficult part.

Difficulty With Trust

And then there is the element of trust for others. For people in this group, it's less about the sensations or the control. The moment the turbulence starts they fear that the pilots don't know what they're doing, or that they're not paying enough attention. Or, what happens if the turbulence gets so bad that the pilots become overwhelmed? While we can call this another form of lack of control as well, to some extent, for people in this area, the worry with turbulence is less about the turbulence itself and more about the lack of trust in people and the systems in place. It feels like no one or anything will be able to handle all of the pressure and stress. It's a scary, vulnerable, and out of control feeling to know that you are relying on people who you're maybe not sure can come through in the roughest moments.

In each aspect of turbulence discussed above, there are different reasons that people struggle in each of these areas. It's also common that people may experience more than one or all of the above types of turbulence fear, rather than just being in one category.

Overcoming Fear of Turbulence

People can and do overcome fears of turbulence, as well as fear of flying. I see people come through these fears all the time, even when they feel it's hopeless to improve. It is possible to sit with turbulence without having to be so overwhelmed with fear. It starts with understanding you and your own personal experience.

#fearofflying #Phobia #phobias #flyinganxiety #Anxiety #PanicAttacks #flyingphobia