I think I have social phobia and I'm very shy. I'm 25 and have higher education. But I have never worked (or volunteered) because of my phobia (It is also difficult to find a job in our country). My childhood was bad enough and have traumas (I have been diagnosed with depression and ocd). Now I want to be free and want to live, not just survive every day or I don't want to stick to my past. But I'm afraid to step out of my comfort zone, and I'm also afraid that my childhood memories will be triggered. I don't understand why I still can't overcome my phobia at this age and I feel so terrible, I want to die violently.
Now I read book of "Ikigai for teens" by doing the its exercises. Then I will read the book of "Feeling good" by doing its exercises.
I'm trying not to be hopeless, but I feel like as if I'm floundering in a quagmire hopelessly. I feel despondent.