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    This phobia has ruined my life. I’m always scared I’ll be s**k or that food is dangerous. I check for expiration dates on everything, even water. I won’t eat out, I can’t leave my house. I take pepto & Imodium religiously to the point I’m concerned with the usage. I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t gain weight, I can’t control the panic attacks, now that flu season is here I’m a wreck. #Emetophobia


    COVID Vaccine When you have Extreme Needle Phobia #COVID19 #Vaccine #Autism #Needlephobia

    TW-Covid, vaccine, needles
    I recently scheduled an interview at a local place that provides family and day services to adults with disabilities!! I'm excited for the interview but unfortunately the place follows certain medical requirements and the COVID vaccine is one of them. I have not gotten vaccinated simply due to the fact that I have straight up panic attacks around any kind of medical needle. I don't know if I can get a medical or religious exemption because of my issues. I would talk to my family doctor but I feel like she wouldn't give me a medical exemption because I have no other conditions other than my autism that would allow me to not get the vaccine. If anyone has any advice for me it would be extremely helpful considering my interview is next Wednesday!!


    The Transformational Power of EMDR

    I sat at my desk in my 6th grade classroom, my anxiety mounting. I counted down the minutes until the big hand on the clock above the chalk board in the front finally reached 12:00 noon. As my classmates emptied out of the room, headed to the cafeteria for lunch, my palms got cold and clammy and I felt a growing sense of panic. I had to use the bathroom, but the prospect of entering a stall in the school’s boys’ room filled me with so much fear, that doing so would be unthinkable. I would have to run home—fast, without soiling myself—and make it back before anyone noticed I was missing.

    Fortunately, our house was only eight blocks from school. So, as my classmates ate Sloppy Joes, I flew down Oakland Avenue, never looking up from the sidewalk, until I made it to my street, down my block, into my house, up the stairs to the room I shared with my brother, and finally into our bathroom. I avoided a crisis that day…and managed to avoid the same crisis every school day of my life. Unfortunately, this extreme terror of public restrooms followed me into adulthood.

    It was just one of the psychological disorders I coped with growing up. I suffered from multiple phobias, although I had no idea what a phobia was as a child and young adult. I thought being terrified of using a public restroom, having an acute fear of heights, and experiencing a full-blown panic attack at even the suggestion of intimacy with a woman was simply the way I was wired. It wasn’t until I reached my 60s that I realized I was wired that way for a reason—and it wasn’t simple at all.

    I began psychotherapy in my 20s in Boston, and my search for emotional healing stretched over 22 years, three more cities, and seven different therapists. I was exposed to traditional talk therapy, CBT therapy, and Intensive Dynamic Short-Term Psychotherapy, but none of them offered any substantive or lasting relief. My search ended when I walked into the office of Dr. Jeffrey Magnavita in Glastonbury, CT. While my other therapists had focused in on my various phobias, Dr. Magnavita zoomed out to look at the bigger picture of my life. To my surprise, he diagnosed the source of my phobias: trauma.

    I was introduced to EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), an evidence-based, memory-focused trauma therapy. And from the very first EMDR session, I felt relief. Dr. Magnavita would guide me to a memory, or physical sensation, or emotion from a particular time in my childhood and have me move my eyes from side to side, following his two fingers. This “bilateral stimulation,” a unique feature of EMDR therapy, allowed my brain to process memories that got frozen in my nervous system long ago and this, in turn, led to a dramatic decrease in my symptoms. My past was no longer intruding into my present.

    EMDR was life-changing. In time I came to understand that I had suffered significant childhood trauma. The memories I processed in therapy were of extreme neglect and abuse at the hands of my parents, my brother, a school bully, and a pediatrician. These memories had been so fragmented in my conscious adult mind, that I could never make sense of them. Yet, they haunted me, and distorted how I viewed myself, the world, and the choices I made.

    I have traded my old mental “operating system,” plagued with anxiety, doubt, fear, and a core belief of being worthless and unlovable, for a new one. I now wake up in the morning phobia-free, untethered, and at peace. I have become my authentic self, as I no longer need the façade I had created over the years to mask my internal turmoil. My brother, who tormented me when we were children, began his own EMDR journey a year ago, and this paved the way to a friendship I would have never believed possible after 20 years of estrangement. The secrets we’ve shared over our weekly Zoom calls have created a strong and lasting bond that I will always treasure.

    I disclose this part of my life story to you in the hope that it imparts two morals: 1) trauma is a part of life but needn’t be a source of shame, and 2) it doesn’t have to take a lifetime to recover from trauma; if you (or someone you know and care about) are suffering, seek out a certified EMDR therapist. It’s worth finding out if what was so transformational for me could be for you, too.


    Neurodiversity and body experiences

    Hi there, I'm new to this group, so I'll start by saying hello! It's nice to have found this community!

    I have a question about my son which maybe some of you might be able to help me with.

    My son is 8 and we're in the process of doing an ASD assessment with him. I strongly suspect that he's on the spectrum.

    One thing I'm trying to get my head around is the link between neurodiversity and the experience of your own body. It's hard to explain what I mean but my son is very afraid of his own bodily sensations. For example, he gets scared when he coughs or when he feels hungry. He also has a phobia of vomiting, and even something like belching can trigger an anxiety attack because it makes him scared that he's going to vomit.

    Recently he's started refusing to participate in sport at school because he's scared he's going to cough or vomit.

    I just wonder whether anyone has any experience with these sorts of sensations or advice about how to help him? #Autism #sensoryprocessing #Autistic #autismandthebody #neurodiverse #sensoryexperiences #FearOfVomiting

    3 reactions 3 comments

    A Warning

    I Don't Normally Do 2 Posts In 1 Day BUT Today I Shall.;;;
    When I Was In Al-Anon I Had 2 Sponsors.
    My 1st Sponsor Was Really Old & Really Pushy.
    She Was Going Deaf & Had Other Health Problems.
    She,Also, Wouldn't Listen To Me & Thought She Knew Best.
    At This Time I Had A Phobia In Regards To Men-I Was Terrified Of Them.
    So, Somehow, She Thought It'd Be A Good Idea To Bring Me To An A.A. Meeting Where Most Of The Participants Were Men.
    Yeah, That Didn't Go Over So Well.
    I Had A Severe Attack & Dissociated For Quite Awhile.
    Shortly After I Cut Ties With Her.;
    My Next One Was Slightly Younger.
    She Didn't Work Out Either.
    2 Of The Reasons are:
    1) When She Got Me A Spiritual Director She Didn't Check To See If He Had Ties To My F.O.O..
    He Did & It Didn't Work Out.
    2) I'm An Adult Child That Comes From A Home Of, Amongst Other Things, Broken Promises.
    So, When Someone Promises Me Something, They Better Keep That Promise.
    She Didn't.
    She Promised That She'd Help Me To Get Hotel Rooms When I Needed To Get Away From My Mother.
    This Was Suppose To,Slowly, Help Me Start The Separation Process So I Could-Eventually-Be Fully On My Own-Or,At Least, Mostly On My Own.
    She NEVER Did This!.
    I Cut Ties With Her.;;
    The Al-Anon Groups In My Area Were, Largely, Made Up Of Women That Were 50-70.
    There Were Groups For Kids ages 11-17.
    There Were NO Groups For Those That Were 18-35.
    I Termed My Group 'The Middle-Grounders'.
    The Al-Anon Groups Were Pretty Welcoming To Women Who Were 40 on over BUT, Everyone Else Wasn't Very Welcomed Us Middle-Grounders Had Nowhere To Go-Basically-& Gave Up.
    The Al-Anoners Would Pressure The Middle-Grounders To Join The Kids!.
    Some,Even,Suggested It.
    **The ACOA Movement Was Just Beginning & The Majority Of Meetings Were In Texas. A Couple Other States Had A Scattering Of Meetings BUT It Wasn't Like It Was In Texas. My State Had No Meetings.**
    I,Eventually, Quit Al-Anon & Started Going To Other 12 Step Meetings.
    These Were A Bit More Open To The Younger Crowd BUT Not Completely.
    I,Eventually, Looked On-Line.
    I Found Meetings & They Were Free BUT, To Access Them, Cost A Sh*** Ton Of Money That I Didn't Have!.
    In The Midst Of This Journey I Attempted To Do The Program On My Own.
    This Was 50% Of What Lead To My Physical Collapse.
    I Went To Numerous Doctors-on my insurance-& couldn't get a Diagnosis.
    I became bed-ridden & I was dying.
    I Can't Recall But My Mother was either considering Last Rites or had them performed.
    She,Finally, found a Doctor to Diagnose Me.
    We had to go off my Insurance.
    I was Diagnosed with Fibromyalgia.
    I was 1 of the Rare Cases Of Women Who Get It Before the Age of 35.
    I walked with a cane for an entire year.
    Periodically,throughout my 20s, I would have to walk with a cane.
    I used Alieve & Advil.
    Found out that I prefer the Roll-On Bio-Freeze to the goup(it leaves a smell behind on your hands, & learned that pain patches aren't all they're cracked up to be.
    Also, Stated using a heating pad when really bad.
    Anyway, Heed the Warnings & DON'T Try Doing The Program On Your Own!.
    **The Other Reason is that I was, in a way, a House slave.**

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    My Suffering Social Life

    I have always been an introvert, that's true. But before bipolar and depression took over my life I at least had plans every weekend or offers to do things. Now I miss people, but I don't know how to get back to being social. I have social anxiety disorder too now, which doesn't help. And I don't drink, 12 years sober. So I go places by myself, to concerts and restuarants and movies. Torn between wanting to go home, wanting to drink like everyone else, and facing my phobia of public places. Not sure what the answer is. Anyone else have similar issues?

    1 reaction 5 comments

    Victim or Threat?

    I have struggled for over 10 years with #Depression and anxiety. #Anxiety is at its highest when I have been living alone. I used to live near an airport and would hear the small planes take off and land right by my bedroom window. I have been dealing with the outcome of living there with either #PTSD or a #Phobia from planes flying over me. It makes me feel like I am a threat to Americans or a dangerous person. Also, everywhere I go or live has gone through an emergency to protect the utilities of the towns. I often feel as though I have caused this problem and it follows me everywhere.

    I am soon to be moving to a place on my own and am afraid to be experiencing these same problems on my own. I feel suicidal sometimes so that this situation could end.


    Can anyone help me understand what's happening to me?

    Hi..I have no one to talk to so I'm posting this here.
    Recently my mental state has regressed to what it was 10 years ago, before I ever started psychiatric treatment, therapy and actively working to care for my mental health.
    Things that I thought I dealt with or that I found ways to cope with are coming back... claustrophobia, agoraphobia, compulsive tendencies, panic attacks and even my old dog phobia that I thought I put to rest 7 years ago.
    I've had a horrible year so far so it might explain some of the usual symptoms worsening (suicidal ideation especially makes a big comeback when my stress is at its highest). But the regression to when I wasn't even in therapy is scaring me. On top of all of this, I feel extremely weak, dizzy, forgetful of words (not new, I've had it eversince I started medication but gets worse at times), I get extremely scared when people do random things like ring the bell or call my phone to the point where I'm afraid every moment in case someone will make a sudden loud noise. Currently my diagnosis is of unspecified depression. Previously I got diagnoses of MDD, panic disorder and generalized anxiety (I assume they diagnoses the symptoms I was experiencing the most in that moment).
    I don't necessarily agree with these diagnoses since I believe something else is at the root of them all, C-PTSD, but I accept them since it doesn't matter too much what the name is.

    Can anyone please tell me why I might be experiencing such a severe regression? Has this happened to you or someone you know?

    Any advice or opinion is helpful.
    Thank you!
    #Depression #CPTSD


    The negative side of being a hyper sensitive person in public

    I went into the pharmacy to pick up some prescriptions and knew immediately it was not the day to test the waters of my agoraphobia.

    A few triggers of my phobia is going into stores, walking outside, seeing my neighbors. I can go to a concert and get lost in music, but not into the grocery store to get anything. Seems a bit strange, no?

    Then again, there is not much that is ordinary about me.

    Allow me to continue the pharmacy story. I walked in, and immediately felt panic. I felt every emotion all at once and it took my breath away. I get to the counter, and this is where it intensifies even more so. I forget my birthday, fumble with my wallet and then he tells me it will be a few minutes. I lost it. I ran into the bathroom and sobbed. I waited until I heard my name, and when paying, I dropped my wallet and its contents onto the ground.

    I know I should not allow these moments to feed into my anxiety, but when I go out into public, I have my own anxiety to deal with and then take on others as well.

    I have always been a chameleon of sorts. I literally feel the room I am in, and in public areas, it's too much.

    #Bipolar2Disorder #SocialAnxiety #CPTSD #agoraphobic #Anxiety #hypersensitive

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    Wellness Wednesday: Blood Sugar Testing Anxiety

    I have a small confession to make.

    I'm recovering from needle phobia. I started facing my fears of needles just over a year ago. It all began in college when I had a terrible encounter with a healthcare professional from my college's student health center. Following that experience, I became very apprehensive about undergoing vaccinations and lab tests. Since I refused to check my blood sugar levels by myself when I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and then full blown diabetes, my husband or my mother used to check them for me.

    My fear of needles caused me to be anxious about blood sugar tests. Thanks to the tools I've found and the support I've received from my family and the diabetes community, I'm taking better care of myself. As far as lab work is concerned, I barely flinch when I have to have my blood drawn.

    ❓Have you had a similar experience?

    See this article on blood sugar testing anxiety for additional reasons why some of us worry about blood sugar tests:

    ❓Have you found anything that works for you?

    Share your experiences in the comments below 👇🏾

    #Diabetes #DiabetesType1 #DiabetesType2 #lada #mody #prediabetes #GestationalDiabetes #JuvenileDiabetesType1 #ChronicIllness #AutoimmuneDisease #Lifestyle #HealthAnxiety #Health #Stress #Support #SupportGroups #MightyTogether