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Tonight went well

I put the chicken in the oven at 7 and dinner was ready by 740. My ex girlfriend got home by 730. We had a really good dinner. We chatted for a half hour. Then it was time for my video chat with flutter. We had a nice chat. Today is our 5 month anniversary. It's been a wonderful 5 months. Then I took my night meds plus 75mg hydroxyzine. I'm exhausted and feeling kinda grumpy. My ex girlfriend put some CBD cream on my neck and back. I'm very ouchy. I'm gonna take 2 tramadol before bed. The kitchen is a wreck but I'll tackle it tomorrow.

#Relationships #ChronicPain #Migraine #MentalHealth #CheckInWithMe

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I'm nearing the end of my Bachelor's degree and I'm terrified because I'm still not doing well

I'm constantly tired. CONSTANTLY. I don't know what I have otherwise (POTS?? CFS?? I have no idea.) but I definitely have depression and anxiety... and I feel stuck at home. I'm not functioning very well at all, my mom is elderly and disabled, (she can do most things on her own, but they hurt her terribly if too strenuous/done for too long) and I have no siblings. I have to stay nearby my mother because she doesn't have family that cares about her wellbeing enough to help out with anything nor do they live close enough.

I am smart on my good days, but on my brain fog days I'm a freaking idiot and forget things way too easily. It's hard to hold down any good-paying job, and I don't think I'll ever escape the stupid small town I'm in or my mom's house.

I tell myself "Just work harder" but the harder I work, the worse the brain fog and body pain becomes, and the worse I do at my job. I forget simple things, have executive dysfunction, and if I push too far, I feel like I've been hit by a truck for a few days to a week. This happens even if I just get too stressed out.

I tried explaining this to co-workers, and they looked at me like I was crazy. (Like yeah, you work out and you hurt, duh. I couldn't get them to understand that I know what it's like to work out to the point of my legs giving out and this is extremely different.)

I feel stuck?? Scared?? I am two semesters from finishing my Bachelor's degree (It's taken 10 years due to executive dysfunction and brain fog making me fail classes and me taking breaks for my health) but I don't think I can get a job afterward that I can truly do good at due to my disabilities. I have no idea how to get diagnosed with anything enough to get help because every time I go to the doctor, they do blood tests and tell me the blood tests look good.

My mom and I are both disabled. What happens when she needs more help and I can't give it but I also can't afford to hire help?? What happens if I never move out of her house and I just... don't have a life? I'm terrified to date, I don't have the proper energy to keep up relationships anyway, I have trauma that keeps me from truly trusting people, and I'm worried about my mother's and my future.

I just... really needed to vent. Thanks

#ChronicFatigueSyndrome #Depression #MentalHealth #Disability #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #Undiagnosed

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The Solo Game

Being single is pretty awesome. I’ve been known to complain about it sometimes with my family but lately I’ve been feeling like being single is the bom dot com. While Ive never had abusive or toxic relationships, I’m pretty content being on my own and only get upset when it’s brought to my attention. “Oh are you single?” Is that such a big deal??

Heath Ledger once said something that blew my mind, he said “everyone asks you if you have a career, a car, a house or (my addition) a partner, but no one ever asks you if you’re happy.” How beautifully the truth rings. Instead of seeing being single as an aparrent faux pas, why not see it as an opportunity to grow, to heal, to learn? Why not see it as an opportunity to get to know yourself on an even deeper level?

Because of my mental illness, I feel lonely a lot sometimes. So sometimes it’s easier said than done.But I don’t need a partner for that. There’s a lot of ways to combat loneliness including with my furry friend who passed away last year (see photo). I just think relationships are overrated. There’s a part of me that loves being on my own, loves learning, loves reflection time, loves solitude. But I’m an eccentric so don’t go by me. 🤪 I live in my own world about 90% of the time.

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Tonight

My ex girlfriend isn't home yet. I was planning to make dinner for us but she is still at work. The chicken has been marinating for 20 hours. I'm gonna cook dinner at 7 and I'll just reheat it when she gets home. I am very hungry and cranky. I hate when she doesn't get home until the next day. I try to be patient with her but she doesn't respect my time. She helped me put the chicken in the freezer last night. She knows I've been marinating the chicken for dinner tonight. She isn't answering my texts. I just want to know what time she'll be home.

#Relationships

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I'm new here!

Hi, my name is ALilBitCrazy687. I'm here because I have two (adult) kiddos with whom I'd like to improve my relationship. #MightyTogether

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Today

It might seem silly but today is 5 months of being in my relationship with flutter. It's been an incredible 5 months. The next time I see her, it'll be half of a year together. I'm so excited to spend time with her. It's been almost a year since I saw her. I really miss her so much. We're going to spend the whole week after con together. I'm trying to plan out the trip. I've never been to the town she lives in so it's a learning experience.

#Relationships

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Podcast Recs Plz!

Looking for comforting/informative/entertaining podcasts for someone surviving a breakup and dealing with worsening mental health. NOT looking for relationship, (toxic) positivity, or gaming pods. I’ve been listening to Am I A Bad Therapist? and really enjoy it. TYIA! #Anxiety #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #breakup #IOP #Podcasts

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In a lot of emotional pain

I’ve been struggling with BPD for 7 years, I’m 28. It’s been really hard recently and idk how to manage this. I recently got into a relationship and I’m struggling with things I never thought I would have to. My sexual trauma from my past is haunting me and it’s like a cloud over my head. I just want my girlfriend to understand that it’s very painful to feel this way. It’s so hard for me #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #MentalHealth

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