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What I’m striving for- getting to a reality where, even with life’s regular troubles, I can tell myself “everything is alright now” and it be true

Words below taken from
“Rainbow” by Kacey Musgraves:

When it rains, it pours…
It's hard to breathe when all you know is
The struggle of stayin' above the rising water line

..,you're stuck out in the same ol' storm

If you could see what I see, you'd be blinded by the colors
Yellow, red, and orange, and green, and at least a million others

You hold tight to your umbrella
…darlin', I'm just tryin' to tell ya
that there's always been a rainbow hangin' over your head

…the sky has finally opened
The rain and wind stopped blowin'
But you're stuck out in the same ol' storm again…
…Let go of your umbrella

Oh, tie up the bow, take off your coat, and take a look around
Everything is alright now

…[And] there's always been a rainbow hangin' over your head

#artastherapy #Music #Relationships #Trauma #Anxiety #Depression #MentalHealth #Grief

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I really hate days when Pauley goes to work at the office... It's so quiet

I really miss her when she has to go to work. But I imagine that must be how puppies feel when they are left home alone. It makes sense.
Anywho.
I'm listening to my music and just relaxing. My head doesn't hurt at the moment. I should probably take a nap. I didn't sleep well last night and I'm exhausted. Except for the fact I am drinking coffee... Yeah maybe a nap isn't gonna work out for me right now. Whoops.
Next month there's going to be a medieval time fest near me that I have decided I have to go to. It's on my calendar and I need to buy tickets. But for sure I am going. And I am so excited.
Ope. I turned my back wrong and pain just spiked to 8. Another reason I hate being here alone... when I need a Norco.
#Relationships

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Depression Doesn’t Mean I’m Not Trying

Yesterday, my partner and I were playing a card game meant to bring couples closer together. One of the questions I got was: “How have you changed in the past year?”

I said there haven’t been any major changes in my life, except that I’m no longer on antidepressants. That has actually affected me a lot, both positively and negatively, because of the strong side effects I used to experience.

Then my partner added that he thinks I’ve changed because I’ve started trying harder. He said that before, when he asked me to help more around the house, I might do it once, but then stop until he reminded me again. Now, he said, I’ve started exercising regularly, cleaning more, and making more effort in general. He sees that as a big improvement.

I gently corrected him. Yes, I’m glad he noticed the change, but the situation is actually the opposite of what he described. The truth is: I’m not trying more now — I just have more energy because I feel slightly better.

When I’m deeply depressed, I push myself so much harder just to get through the day. Every little thing takes an enormous amount of effort — even basic hygiene, going to work, eating properly, or keeping up small talk. That’s when I’m actually trying the most.

He told me it’s the opposite for him — that he doesn’t try at all when he feels down, and puts in effort only when he feels good.

That really upset me.

It reminded me of something he told me a while ago that also hurt deeply. We had a conversation about why we’re even still together, and his answer was:

“Because I’m still waiting for you to change for the better — and then I’ll be happy with you again. Then I’ll love you again.”

That hit me hard.

Because when I’m at my lowest, I am doing everything I can — going to work, trying to stay healthy, exercising, eating properly, staying clean, trying to be a decent partner.

But none of that effort seems to be visible. It doesn’t seem to matter. It feels like people only value you when you're in a good mood, when you have energy, when you seem “normal.” But when you're depressed or emotionally heavy, you get labelled as lazy, unmotivated, and not fun to be around. Even by those who are supposed to love you the most. And that makes me feel even more alone.

#Depression #Relationships

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I am scared and shattered after leaving a manipulator

Hi, I’m new here. I just got out of a relationship with someone who was emotionally abusive and manipulative. Right now, I feel broken into pieces—confused, scared, and like I’ve lost my sense of self.

He made me doubt my reality constantly. Gaslighting, emotional games, twisting the truth. I finally ended it, but since then, I feel like I’m still not free. He’s turned mutual friends against me—some blocked me, others left group chats we shared. One of them even spoke badly about me. It hurts more than I expected. And honestly, it’s terrifying.

I’m afraid of what he might still do—he knows how to manipulate people, and I don’t know how far he’ll go. I’m trying to go no-contact, but I keep wondering: Will he come after me in some other way? Will I ever feel safe again?

My body feels constantly on edge, like danger is still nearby even though he’s gone. Nighttime is the hardest. I struggle to sleep, and the fear comes in waves. I feel so confused and unsure of what’s real anymore.

If anyone else has been through this—especially the part where everyone believes his version of the story—I’d be so grateful to hear from you. How did you rebuild your safety? How do you begin to trust yourself again?

Thank you for reading. I’m just trying to hold on.

(edited)
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My new blog - RISE ABOVE YOUR NORM

Rise Above Your Norm

A new perspective

about

riseaboveyournormblog.wordpress.com

Hey there—my name is Jacqueline Hayes. First and foremost, I am a proud mother of seven and a grandmother to three beautiful girls.

I am a published author of the book B.R.O.K.E.N., and I hold a degree in Social Work with over a decade of experience in the field of child welfare.

My passion lies in trauma mental health. I aspire to open my own private practice, specializing in Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), domestic violence, and sexual abuse. This blog is my space to share the wisdom I’ve gained through both personal and professional experiences.

A little about my journey: I grew up in a family of both white and Aboriginal heritage. As a Black child in that environment, where only one cousin and one of my brothers looked like me, I often felt invisible and different. My childhood was marked by neglect, isolation, and various forms of abuse—verbal, emotional, and sexual. I still vividly remember being told I was “broken” by someone I looked up to.

Throughout my life, I have faced and continue to face many challenges—sexual abuse, exploitation, addiction, domestic violence, and ongoing struggles with mental health. I won’t pretend I’ve conquered all these battles, but I continue to learn and grow. I believe my life experiences have given me a unique perspective, and I’m here to share what I’ve learned with others who may be walking similar paths.

Professionally, I bring over 10 years of experience in counseling and frontline support. I’ve worked with individuals from all walks of life—women, men, and children affected by trauma, homelessness, addiction, and sexual exploitation. I have a deep understanding of the complex challenges families face, including the dynamics of family violence and sexualized behaviors.

My work is grounded in empathy, compassion, and relationship-building. I strive to empower others while navigating the intersecting issues of poverty, mental health, domestic violence, and immigration. Through meaningful communication and advocacy, I aim to support those facing some of life’s most difficult circumstances.

BigmommaJ

Rise Above Your Norm

A new perspective

Rise Above Your Norm

A new perspective
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Need help ! #InternalPlurality #DissociativeIdentityDisorder #genderexploration #Selfcare

I am experiencing what is known as internal plurality, where I feel a strong feminine aspect in my personality named 'Yusra'. This aspect has a clear identity, interests, and desires that differ from my primary identity as a male . My relationship with 'Yusra' began as a casual online experience, but it has evolved to become an important part of my inner life. I feel vitality and comfort when expressing this aspect, but I also sometimes feel tension and anxiety about how to reconcile this experience with my personal and religious values.I am now at a stage where I am trying to understand and accept this plurality, and find healthy ways to express 'Yusra' while maintaining balance in my life. I am seeking professional help to better understand this experience and develop strategies for healthy psychological integration.my main goal is to find a balance that allows all aspects of my personality to express themselves in a healthy way that is consistent with my values, without one aspect dominating another. I welcome any guidance or resources that can help me on this journe
#SocialAnxiety #MentalHealth #Anxiety #GenderDysphoria

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Frustration

I hate it when frustration hit's me, like even for just a very simple reason. I'm a type of person who wouldn't express my emotions outside, I would just keep it inside because, this bible verse Psalm 37:8, which says, "Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil." It Is always my helpful armor when some bad things happen, and it really work because after that my anger would just vanish. BUT! It could be so much sometimes, it feels like your putting water in the cup, every drop means every anger your keeping inside, and when it almost reaches to the top, one single drop, it could overflow. When that happens, I would burst out my anger just for literally a single drop, a very small reason, BECAUSE I am full. It really affects my mental health and relationships to others, so I will pray to God that someday, someday everything will be okay.

PS. Instead of bursting out of anger, I literally burst out of crying, but of course not in front of them. I would cry in the shadows where no one would see me. About what I said it would affect my relationship to others, Yes it would! Because after all of that I don't know how to act infront of them. #MentalHealth #MightyTogether

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