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It's been a sad night

It's been a rough day/night today. I felt jittery during the day. The feeling of anxiousness that makes your stomach upset. I couldn't pin point the reason. But this is what has happened in my life the past month:
I was in Japan and about 3 days in of our 12 day trip my then fiancé and I were having a rough time just enjoying ourselves. One thing led to another on the third night in our hotel and I ended up breaking up our relationship. (This is not the first time a breakup has happened.) He got us tickets back to USA and I thought i was going to leave as soon as I packed my stuff but I couldn't. We're living in idaho and all of my family is in California. He didn't kick me out and i also didn't want to go back home.
I feel stuck. I'm broken and so is he. I know I need to leave so that we both can heal but it's so hard walking away.
Lately I've seen comments about how it's becoming so easy for women to walk away from good relationships. I feel like my reasoning for leaving is not enough (I have a gut feeling that he isn't the one, i would literally get physical reactions of panic and anxiety at the thought of marriage)
Anyways, even though we are still living together we are sleeping in different rooms and trying to somehow heal and grief.
I can see the pain in his eyes and it hurts me too. Tonight I've been crying a lot. I haven't cried this much since the first week this all happened.
Also, I have not been working since April 2024 and since I've started applying for work I have not had any luck. I had given myself till this past Monday to find a job but I have a hard time committing to things I say.

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What's a character or personality trait you'd like to improve?

As multifaceted human beings living in a complex world, we are constantly adapting, learning, growing, and gaining a deeper understanding of ourselves. Because we are not meant to be perfect, we will inevitably have character traits that don't always align with who we aspire to be or the goals we set for ourselves—not to mention the impact of trauma and health on our personal development! 💡

Mighty staffer @sparklywartanks has been reflecting on boundaries and how impatient and avoidant she becomes when others knowingly or unknowingly cross them. She's working on developing more patience, both with herself and with others, as she continues to build safe and healthy relationships with those around her.

What's a character or personality trait you'd like to work on?

#MightyMinute #CheckInWithMe #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Disability #RareDisease #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #AutismSpectrumDisorder #Parenting #PTSD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BipolarDisorder #Fibromyalgia #Lupus #MultipleSclerosis #Migraine #Spoonie

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My First Panic Attack Sent Me into an Existential OCD Spiral

I was a junior in high school when I experienced my first panic attack.

It all started with one fleeting thought:

"How do I know if I'm alive?"

Except it wasn’t fleeting at all. It dug its claws into my brain and took complete control.

"What if I wasn’t part of the same reality as my family? What if my family is dead and I’m alive? How do I know what’s real and what isn’t?"

I always felt this responsibility to make sure everyone was safe all the time. And I always felt like I had control over that. But when this thought triggered a panic attack—one that left me feeling physically and mentally detached from reality—that certainty disappeared. I felt lost. Suddenly, the idea that a single action or thought could unravel my understanding of what was real became unbearable. The fear paralyzed me.

At the time, I didn’t know that what I was experiencing had a name—Existential OCD. All I knew was that I never wanted to feel that panic again—that feeling like I had slipped into an alternate universe. Because if I entered that place again, what if I never came out? What if I never saw my family again? I did everything in my power to prevent that from happening.

But you know what they say about the pink elephant—trying not to think about something only makes you think about it more. A lot more.

I was at the mercy of OCD for over a year. The fear shifted between two extremes—either that I’d be pulled into a reality where nothing was real, or that someone I loved (or even I) would die. No matter what, it felt like I was constantly on the edge of losing everything. It was an exhausting time in my life, one I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

Every decision, no matter how small—what I ate, said, wore, and did—felt like a risk, like I somehow had the power to alter my existence in the world. I avoided certain foods, colors, even words, believing they held some kind of power over my fate. I couldn't fathom eating or drinking anything that didn’t come from my house. My mind convinced me that someone at school could poison or drug me, and if that happened, I’d never see my family again. The intrusive thoughts didn’t make sense, yet they felt like absolute truth.

Stepping on a crack in the sidewalk, making eye contact for a second too long—every tiny detail felt like it could jeopardize my existence or the lives of my loved ones. The exhaustion wasn’t just mental; it was physical, too. Nights were spent lying in bed, my mind racing, my body tense.

Physically, I was drained. Emotionally, I was barely holding on.

It was a constant, unbearable weight.

I lost so much of myself during that time. My relationships, my sense of identity—everything felt warped. I wanted to feel “normal” again, but it was like trying to climb a mountain in a storm.

It wasn’t until I finally sought help—Exposure and Response Prevention Therapy (ERP), medication, the gentle support of my family—that I began to understand what was happening to me. I learned that the panic, the fear, the compulsions—they weren’t me. They were a product of OCD. That realization didn’t make it go away immediately, but it was a turning point.

The first exposures were small—so small they almost felt insignificant. I would take a sip of water from my bottle, the very same one I’d brought from home, and remind myself that I was okay. I remember how difficult that first sip was. It felt like my body was fighting me, like I was doing something dangerous just by drinking from that bottle. But my therapist assured me that the fear was a product of OCD, not reality. That was the hardest part to accept—that the fear was just a distortion, something my mind was telling me that wasn’t true.

Slowly, I started to see that the more I let the fear control me, the stronger it became. By facing it head-on, by allowing myself to make decisions without perfection or certainty, I was taking back control, piece by piece.

Even though it was terrifying, I kept going. I pushed myself to do these exposures, even when every part of me wanted to retreat back into the safety of my rituals and routines. Therapy wasn’t a quick fix, but it helped me take baby steps.

There were still hard days. OCD didn’t disappear, but I learned I didn’t have to obey it. The more I faced the fear, the less power it had. I stopped micromanaging my existence, stopped believing I could control everything. The freedom came in surrendering—not to the OCD, but to the reality that life is uncertain, and that’s okay.

Looking back, I can see how far I’ve come. But it wasn’t just about healing from OCD—it was about rediscovering who I was before it took over. The journey wasn’t easy, but it taught me that healing is possible, even when it feels out of reach. And while OCD may still whisper in the background, I now know: I don’t have to listen.

I often think about that time and the sheer determination it took to claw my way out of that darkness. It was an exhausting, painful experience, but one that taught me more about myself than I could have ever imagined. And even though I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, it made me realize that recovery is possible—no matter how impossible it feels in the moment.

If you’re in the thick of it right now, I want you to know this: You are not broken, and you are not alone. OCD will tell you that you need certainty, that you need control—but you don’t have to listen. Healing doesn’t happen all at once; it happens in the small moments, in the choices you make to step toward freedom, even when it feels impossible. And if I could get here, so can you.

My story of living with Existential OCD has many twists and turns. The thoughts, fears, compulsions, and illogic that consumed that year of panic can’t be summed up in one post. It will take time to paint the full picture.

So this is just the beginning.

Stay tuned.

#ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #MentalHealth #PanicAttacks #existentialocd

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I'm new here!

Hi, my name is FunkyCorgi80810. I'm here because
Curious about childhood abuse and discoving it as a adult. I think it effects my relationship with others. #MightyTogether

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I'm new here!

Hi, my name is 4shibamomma. I'm here because
Having relationship problems cause of anxiety and have a son with adhd and i think i maybw adhd#MightyTogether

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Hey

I’m new here, i was diagnosed when i was younger but doctors don’t listen now. So im not really diagnosed anymore but i have ADD, bipolar and BPD. And I want to change because i ruined a year long relationship because I couldn’t change. I want to be normal and get my relationship back. But I don’t know how to change or where to start and I need help.

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How Self-Esteem Influences Relationships

Do you ever wonder why some people seem to effortlessly navigate social situations while others often struggle? Self-esteem and generally how you feel about yourself plays a significant role in how you interact with others.

Whether you’re extraverted or more reserved and introverted, your self-esteem impacts every conversation and relationship in your life. Understanding how your self-worth affects communication is important for your confidence and navigating relationships.

Understanding the Connection Between Self-Esteem and Communication

You might not realize it in your day-to-day life, but your self-esteem plays a role in how you communicate with others. When you feel confident, you’re more likely to speak up, share your thoughts, and connect with people. However, if you’re struggling with low self-esteem, you may be easily tempted to turn away from social situations or avoid conversations, possibly feeling your voice doesn't have worth or relevance, or that others aren't interested in what you have to offer.

Low self-esteem often leads to shyness and avoiding social interactions. You may find yourself experiencing more anxiety around people, or even more prone to depression as a result of lower self-esteem and self-worth negatively impacting your relationships. Conversely, higher self-esteem and feeling you have more to offer can boost your assertiveness and confidence with others.

Embracing Your Communication Style

Everyone has their own way of interacting. Whether you prefer one-on-one conversations or you thrive in group settings, understanding your own tendencies can help boost your self-confidence. It actually tends to be more difficult for people when they are trying to emulate other people's conversation styles, and being inauthentic as themselves with others. This can lead to feelings disconnected from your own self and can result in lowering self-esteem.

When people are struggling with low self-esteem, they often turn to what they've seen others do, perhaps in movies, TV shows, or peers around them. This can be even more difficult if you're emulating parents who struggled with low self-esteem. In these situations, it can feel like you're making a copy of a copy, so to speak. You may be imitating your parents imitating someone else. This can lead to feeling further detached from yourself, as well.

Spoiler Alert: There is No Right Way

Society in general can make it appear as if there are "right" ways to communicate or use one's voice in order to be likable or desirable as a person. The more these particular, often stereotypical styles are propped up by society, the more insecure it can make people feel whose style doesn't reflect these. However, in reality, there is no right way to harness your voice. Think for a moment of the many different ways you've seen people talk. Finding your own voice and sense of self and becoming able to trust yourself leads to confidence and increases self-esteem.

As you become more aware of your communication style, you’ll find it easier to be assertive. This self-awareness allows you to engage in more meaningful interactions. I know it's cliche to say, "don’t be afraid to be yourself," but authenticity is actually central to forming genuine connections and navigating interactions. If you're not sure of your own voice or communication style, this can lead to increased anxiety because you may feel lost in interactions, trying to think of what people want to hear you say, or what others might say, instead of your own authenticity.

Finding Your Voice and Moving Forward

Low-self esteem can develop for many different reasons. Perhaps from trauma such as being bullied, rejected, raised by parents with low self-esteem, toxic work or home environments, and any number of life experiences. If you struggle with low self-worth, with communication, or have difficulty forming relationships, it's important to remember that many people share similar experiences.

The starting point for moving forward is to work through your own experiences that are bolstering your lowered sense of self, and to develop a sense of empathy for yourself as you build towards understanding and embracing yourself. As you continue to develop confidence and assertiveness you'll likely notice social interactions becoming more smooth and less daunting. Therapy is a good place to work through low self-esteem, find your voice, sense of self, and communication style.

#Relationships #MentalHealth #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety

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