I had a break through at 4 am couldn’t get back to sleep. I decided to put the past where it belongs in the past. I need to move forward from it. I was sexually abused by my brother growing up. 48 yrs later I’m still holding on to it. Im done dwelling on it and I’m done waiting for my apology. By me not having contact with him is just fine. Im learning to forgive myself. Im also focusing on the good memories with my dad. He was not an abusive father he was strict I mean grounding as punishment or raising his voice. Yes emotionally he wasn’t there I think he grew up in a different era where children are to be seen not heard. I have more good memories than bad. I want to cherish them. As for my son he was taking from me at 7 there was no abuse whatsoever for them to take him nor there was there neglect. He was raised by his uncle til this year. We always saw him every weekend. Now that he is living with us I thought I had to reconnect with him. But we are already doing that according to him. He said wouldn’t be living with me if we’re didn’t. Our bond is still strong just like it was when he was 7. So I’m going to stop dwelling on how I lost him and why I did. I was diagnosed with #MajorDepressiveDisorder #PTSD #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorde #PersoalitydisordeNos . I’m not going to let this stop me from having a normal life. I’m sure there will be set backs but I always manage to bounce back.