As the night fall comes illuminating the views with shades of the sunset aglow, dancing just above the rolling mountain tops...it is now my mind begins to flow...to wonder...to dream a new day...

Hoping for a tomorrow, visions of happiness, joy, life beyond...Beyond this place I'm stuck in...

The evening seems a little quieter still, if that's even possible...only creaks of the house will I hear...

Followed by the evening sights & sounds of nature...Lightening bugs dance...Crickets chirping, rustling of the brush, with squirrels, deer, rabbits..

Nature without a hint of human existence.

The days seem to simultaneously flash by in slow motion...Into the night...

Day in day out, the phone never rings, the only time it gets its use is when I reach out to others..Or spam...

I wonder if they'll want to call when they no longer can...I wonder if they'll think of me like I think of them...I often wonder how the knot that tied us together shredded so easily after I became ill...

Was I only worthy when I was able to do everything for them? Was I only valued for what I gave and not for who I am? To them?

I often dream to be someone worthy of them, but that someone is not me...

No matter what the future holds, I know Ill always be remembered as the "woman" that loved & gave with her whole heart...and never asked for anything in return...I didn't ask, I didn't expect...

Here Im left piecing myself back together...

Without regret, learning to love myself

Love with your whole heart, not bits & pieces..

#ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #Depression #Anxiety #conqueryourmind #Ileostomy #Trauma #liveloved #Kindness #Loveothers #givegrace