I'm there more than I care to admit. I have labeled myself as "Chronically Suicidal ". And it's not so much that I want to end my life as I just want it all to end...the pain, the limits that all of my physical issues have placed on me, the Mental issues and the crying that goes with it, along with all of the other up and down emotions I carry in my baggage. I just want to be released from everything being broken and not being able to fix even one thing of this degenerating body and the toxic mind. I want release from the hopelessness, helplessness, emptiness and loneliness that is merely existence. But...I stay. I stay because of my pets. They are my reason to breathe. I have nothing else to keep me here except my love and obligations to them. I am the only surviving member of my family. My parents and siblings have all left this Earth. One by one I've watched them die and I keep asking my Creator "WHY am I still here?" I could never have kids, and I've been divorced from the 18 year toxic, abusive marriage I was chained to for 17 years now. I'm in my late 60's and too afraid and untrusting to give my love to anyone else ever again. No-one would even notice if I left...except my dogs.
I hope that everyone who is thinking about Suicide finds their reason to breathe. 💜
#AnxietyDisorder #PTSD #Fibromyalgia #ChronicPain #DJD #DCD # #IamFallingApart