ideation

Currently sitting here at the moment, feeling low and drained. It happens, it's part of who I am and I am sure many others too. I feel like I'm battling every single thought and feeling like I shouldn't be alone right now. Trying to drown out the thoughts with music but because the music I listen to is based on how I feel, it feels like I am spiralling out of control and I know at this point these are signs that I need help but then it also dawns on me that I can't and that I am more worried that if I do, that's another thing where I work will use against me to throw me aside. I feel that it's not right that I am sitting here struggling, every thought questioning "why", "what's the point", "this life isn't for somebody like me" and I am more concerned about my job. I know there are others out there that go through this or have done, struggling to find an excuse to continue on and essentially survive.

Has anyone else been in this situation?

What have / would you do in these situations?

#ASD #Depression #ideation #Work #help

Haven't had thoughts like this at work. Freeway is triggering.

So, I've been doing quite poorly these past few months- moreso than usual. I have chronic #suicidal thoughts, and I was WAYYY deep into the #Depression , and thought about going to a hospital because the #ideation was that bad. I sat up and spoke to the universe (or praying or whatever you want to call it) and said " I am tired of asking for signs, and I keep getting these B.S. "signs" that can be interpreted several ways. I need a sign as to whether or not to continue with this life- a clear, concise sign that cannot be misinterpreted!"
That day I went to the doctor. I complimented the receptionist on her bracelet, and she said "Here, read what it says!"
On the inside of the bracelet these words were engraved: "KEEP FUCKING GOING".