Take what you need 💕❤️✨️
Take what you need 💕❤️✨️
Don't forget to keep things that make you laugh, close by where you will see it often. Life is much better when you laugh every chance you get
Husbands Bypass and My Mental Health - How Do I Deal With Both?
So….I have been living with/suffering from PDD for as long as I can remember. Diagnosed with ADD/ADHD at 50, 4 years ago and within the last couple of years generalised pain disorder and most recent started lithium although bipolar has not been mentioned. Then add this crazy COVID world and I am the one most surprised by the fact I am still here.
Almost 2 weeks ago my husband had severe “indigestion “ as well as crazy high blood pressure. All the men in his family are either dead or have had bypass surgery but at 66 the hubby thought he was the one to beat it. Not to be. He has not left the hospital since. He had a quadruple bypass last Tuesday and he is yet to wake. He is healthy and the op successful but the doctors and nurses are keeping him sedated as he is very agitated and animated when they attempt to wake him.
I have not truely cried for so many years the last was at the funeral of my favourite aunt 12 years ago and then was a maximum of 30 seconds. I am finding that so many times I have really wanted and needed to cry now but the eyes water and I feel like crying but nothing happens.
We have no family within 2000km and our business has left no time for socialising so no close friends. We have 3 dogs and it is anywhere from 30 to 60 minutes drive one way depending on traffic.
The staff are amazing here but I have spent my whole life NOT asking for help aside from my GP and Psychiatrists. So I have no idea what to do. I have to maintain the business the best I can on my own. Look after the dogs and house but all I want to do is sit by my husbands side.
I am so scared, so lonely and I’m in so much mental and physical pain.
And I need to say to those believers- please no prayers. With what I have been genetically given there, to me, is no higher power and never has been.
Sorry that this went on so long. I have always been a private type of a guy. But being a member for so long and reading everyone’s life issues I thought would give it a try. Thank you all.
Let life surprise you…what’s an obstacle you have that is holding you back from happiness?
Is it just me?
Part 2 of 2 8217;. I had the opportunity to re-establish a connection to self and to give to my self the care and consideration I will never get from my parents. In doing this I have grieved and let go of any desire to connect with the sperm donor that violently and aggressively terrorised me and my brothers for the first years of our lives. I spent a couple of months grieving and, finally, crying and letting go.
Amongst all of this, my eldest two children moved out to go to university. This emptying of the nest did not get anywhere near the attention or celebration it deserved. Instead, it was a foot note as relatives from England sent their condolences or their silences following my mother’s death.
I know that I am not alone in the difficulties of this year. Friends, colleagues and acquaintances all seem to be feeling the effect of 2022. Yet, if we allow ourselves to only focus on that then we miss something of the point. I do not believe that all difficulty leads to a better version of ourselves, or that adversity somehow inexplicably and remarkably will lead us to a place that we prefer to be at, or that resilience is the gift of the afflicted.
Yet there are gifts in difficult experiences if we are willing to accept them.
The lesson learned from being deceived by someone I had considered to be a friend was to assess my friendships. Not all friendships made it through the great ‘friendship audit’ of 2022, and I (and probably they) are okay with that. Equally, my business has become ‘lean’ and there is no question of me carrying people who are not pulling their weight within the business. There is no room for it, and the team we have now is exceptional as a result. Everyone adds to the business, and brings something in exchange for what they receive. The quid pro quo is defined and understood. This lesson has been immeasurably valuable and I cannot assume in future that people are going to behave in a way that honours the treatment they receive from me. In business, the exchange of energy will be defined overtly.
The gift of my biological father briefly flitting into my life is that I now know congruently, in every aspect of my being, that I do not need him in my life. All parts of all ages that I carry within me are aware of this also. That chapter will remain forever closed. A strange but welcome aspect of this is that my brother and I have been able to reminisce about things that others, frankly, find it too hard to hear. It is hard to have discussions with friends about childhood when some of my stories involve broken bones and regular humiliation. Having someone to discuss these things with who was there at the time is both validating and healing.
Finally, this is also the year I have been home schooling my youngest two children. This gift is the most welcome of 2022. I could choose to focus on the reasons for removing them from school, or on the difficulties surrounding scheduling running a business and teaching two children. Instead, I focus on the results we are seeing in their increased academic prowess since I took the reins on their schooling, and the pleasure I get in working systematically though the curriculum with they themselves tracking how far they have come.
In 2022 I have learned how to be the eye of the storm. The calm at the centre of the chaos. I am ready for the maelstrom to settle, and yet I know I will be okay if it continues.
The dormant and every ready-to-be-activated belief of ‘I can’t trust anyone’ has been attributed specifically to a couple of people, and I am discerning gradually again who I can trust – beginning with learning again to trust myself. After a withdrawing of my energy that was two parts recharge and one part defence mechanism, I am recently emerging and reconnecting with friends.
In this at least I know for certain I am not alone. #COVID19 dictated we all went home, and we all got very good at it. People who took to being at home like the closet introverts we all turned out to be are beginning to emerge also. I notice in my practice that, although this is difficult for some, that if they are able to work through the resistance and reach out, the friendships they are making are more satisfying, authentic and valuable than they ones they had previously. It is worth making connections again. We’re wired for it.
So – whether it’s the year, the pandemic or a series of unfortunate events – reach out, speak to people, allow yourself to be vulnerable even if you’ve been hurt before. You may find that you’re not the only one having a ‘bad year’, you might find your new best friend, you might even find yourself.
More Travel Tips for People with Parkinson's
Here are some more things to keep in mind as you travel.
Hats and sunscreen
I never leave home without at least one hat. Many of them are packable, so take a couple. You can always look chic wherever you go. Don't forget that we are more vulnerable to Melanoma and other skin cancers. Take a good sunscreen with you so you don't have to look for it while you are traveling. My dermatologist recommends Elta MD Broad Spectrum 46 and I have been very happy with it.
From Carol Clupny, author of The Ribbon of Road Ahead, who just returned from a 67 day trip to Europe:
Using a walking stick to navigate the cobblestone sidewalks. Oh those cobblestones! I have great stories about wheelchair assistance. And because of the wheelchairs, I did not have any trouble carrying my trekking poles on the plane. I found disability assistance to be very good in Europe. There are even programs that an individual could access on trains. I was boosted up to a back door of a plane on a lift in Latvia and had a personal assistant who took us through the entire airport and even showed us how to buy train tickets in Munich. A small suction cup shower bar. I used it a lot! (note that many come in pairs. You probably need to take just one with you.) Pack light. Plan clothes to layer. We had only carryon-size roller bags and a backpack each. A drain cover to stop the sink when you are rinsing clothes. (a great idea for those sinks that won't hold water). Piece of shower line. We were able to buy Sinemet in a pharmacy by only showing the bottle. (and it was very inexpensive) Be aware of discounts for seniors, disabilities, and care partners in museums and attractions. We usually spent less than 50%We happened upon a 9 euro train ticket that allowed us to ride any type of public transportation in Germany (EXCEPT the intercity fast trains) we traveled for two weeks on 9 euros!!!
More travel tips from Parky Boy from his March blog post.
Choose luggage that you can cope with – this may have changed Aim to go at the pace that you need, especially when navigating transport hubs – because only you know Control anxiety and stress as much as you can by having everything you need very accessible. This may include Covid pass and locator form, which we’re not used to carrying. Take a few days more medication with you than you need – just in case If you’re flying, take a few days medication in your hand luggage (with, of course, toothbrush and knickers) – just in case. Carry on enjoying enjoying traveling
I’ve been struggling for years with chronic pain, dizziness and fainting spells. I got Covid 2 months ago and ever since then I’ve had worse pain and pots episodes. I’ve become unable to do my groceries without almost fainting and can’t do the things I enjoy anymore. I don’t feel like myself anymore and I’m wondering if it’s time to get a mobility aid and how to approach the subject with my GP.
I feel SO GUILTY
A little over a week ago, I went to a funeral. I thought it was very important to be there for my friend . I even canceled a very important appointment. I'm glad I was there to support her but I ended up with COVID. This week my son is doing a big chunk of moving into his new apartment and I CAN'T HELP! His girlfriend is out of town for four days so she won't be around and my son is feeling so alone in this and is extremely stressed.
This is usually when I come in. I'm the one with the experience of dealing with stress and anxiety. I'm the one who understands and can speak to his crazy emotions.
But I can't be there. I feel so helpless and guilty. I should be there for him. The best I can do is provide phone and video support but that's pretty limited. I wish there was some way I could talk my way out of this one but that doesn't take away the COVID.
I’m new here!
Hi, my name is Legjac. I'm here because I hate my life. I was the self-sufficient ignored child. My younger sister was the problem child who finally killed herself and my dad died of Covid/Parkinson’s and now my mom lives next door. I don’t like her but she has cognitive issues and needs someone to help. I am basically a good person, so I do what needs to be done, but I hate it. My husband refuses to discuss or even acknowledge anything unpleasant. We never fight because he refuses. I probably married him because he is just like my parents and it was what I was used to. I was mostly fine with my life and was thrilled that I didn’t have to see my parents because of Covid until they got it. My husband is oblivious and is going to retire in a year. I work at home. He was home for three months at the start of the pandemic and I stopped doing all the routines I had in place and our house became a disaster zone. I did realize that my ADHD meds stopped working and I think I have some that work now but can’t get it under control. I have a hard time functioning when everything is a mess but I can’t fix it. I never had kids (on purpose) and now the two adults most in my life act like 3-year-olds. I know I have a pretty good life and a lot of people have it so much worse, but I fantasize about waking up dead.
In 7 seconds, out 7
In 7 seconds, out 7