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#manicdepressivedisorder and #Epilepsy sucks...

Today i woke up different from yesterday. Granted I've been #anxious and riddled with #Anxiety for days, but my mood has been relatively fine. I would even go so far as to say stable for the most part. However, today i woke up a little off.

Now, remember as i am saying this, i have #PTSD from various traumas i would rather not go into detail about at this moment.

Anyway, i get one phone call that triggers my #Epilepsy to mess up my speech a bit and cause it to become harder to think and process. Fast forward to this very moment and i am overwhelmed with sadness, some fear, anxiety, and overall i am extremely depressed. All of this is causing my skin to feel like its crawling, burning, itching, and tight. My thoughts could be best described as partially liquefied.

I want so desperately to curl up in a ball, cry, and be held just as bad as i want to remain silent and bite off the head of anyone who disturbs me. If i could envision my mood as a physical entity, it would most likely resemble a dog that's been on a chain for far too long. Like, it looks a little sad and you want to help, but the second you get near it, the chain goes tight as it snaps at you.



Part 2 #scaredandalone

I started to drink again, I newly been diagnosed with #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder
I’m feeling all the symptoms that I had when I had in 2016. My husband acts different around certain times and he blocked me off his facebook and has nothing but ladies For a minute I’ve caught him multiple times sneaking around. Without him yelling or getting excited... #ihatedepressionandanxiety
My husband is 21 years older then me and he treats me like I don’t know shit but I’m afraid that I’m going to die from #FunctioningAlcoholic #Cheated

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But it's so simple

Why can't I get up and shower? It's so simple yet I hate it and feel like it's the biggest chore. Actually why can't I get up at all? I take my daughter to school, come straight home and get back into bed. Some days it gets painful to be out of need for the short time it takes me to get her to school. 25 minutes. How can this be? If love any advice from people struggling with the same thing. Thank you
#getupandshower #ihatedepressionandanxiety #physicalpainisreal #justdoit #Anxiety #Depression