This is part 3 of my letters to me. I am so sorry for the long long message those who don’t like lengthy messages. Also, reflect on the other 2 before you come to this one. Read it with a careful and thoughtful heart again 🙏🏼🖤🥺
Dear young teenage Jenny Jin-Young Lee. Hey girl it is the adult Jenny writing this I know you can’t come back but here is my letter to you. I know getting abused was a nightmare. But you kept climbing up the mountain called life. I know striving through for being autistic, hearing impaired and mild intellectual disability along with dyslexia is a challenge but you are strong. No matter who you hurt that's what you expect yourself to say, isn't it?
You do have a little secret you are broken behind each mean mark, rude even a glance, snipe, or comment you are terrified of being the villain in everyone’s life you want to be good how when everyone sees you as a snake. Understanding yourself is hard I get it. Being one of the other people who is diagnosed is harder. You always get judged before people know you. As you can see Draco Malfoy from Harry Potter is the same as you and out of the blue, you wanna be a part of other people’s lives.
Being a snake does hurt the only way you can do is learn to love the pain. Therefore you are part of a Slytherin house and think about those who love Harry Potter. You can feel like you will never be anyone’s hero.
But you are finished being the villain of your life if you think you are the “bad guy” in other people’s lives. I know it was rough when people misunderstood you just of course being Korean and so much more.
Darkness will make you felt not good enough for anyone, feel want to collapse, would make your organs go worse, abused, scared, make impulsive but dumb decisions, feel insecure, embarrassed, discouraged, emotionally declined, have fake friends even wannabes also be a liar, etc as you get older.
Also losing Lily Leah your Yorkshire terrier was the biggest heartbreak from the moment you lose her the more you will strive to have another dog which I know you will. After you will lose your great-grandmother on your mother’s side of the family. Straight after you will lose your very first mentor in life but some of the things you will find new things. For example new dog and new mentors.
But always know everything will be okay and there will be people that assume everything about you but don’t let them do it to you because you are going to just do it and stay quiet about everything much as possible and wait until you are ready. Everyone will be stoked to hear everything you went through.
You will make the people around you proud and you aren’t going to be picture-perfect I promise you will be okay. It was hard to believe in yourself but it is okay you got this.
Sometimes you will have some deja vu moments when you are older you will see what it is. Keep at it Jenny as your parents would say 화이팅 진영아! You will be like a champion in your life soon.I know you will go through a lot but it was hard. You went through 2 surgeries but when you get older you will have 2 more so keep trying to find interventions to hear in your ear that is your right but the left is for something else. Sometimes you gotta know to keep trying and moving forward.
But as you get older you will have fake friends and wannabes but you will find them around the age of 23. You had countless moments where you would cry until you couldn’t even cry anymore. No one saw you crying because you just didn’t want to fall. But it is okay to teenager Jenny I am sure of it. Also the teen years you had were 2008 to 2013 they will always be memorable and cherish because those were the days where you felt yourself but you will continue to do so.
From Jenny the adult