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Can Anticipatory Anxiety In Fear Of Flying Be Resolved?

The short answer is: Yes.

The longer answer is: Yes, however resolving it doesn't generally happen the way people think it should.

Resolving Anticipatory Anxiety Takes a Different Approach

People often seek me out to work on overcoming fear of flying because they've heard from others or read about the way I work. Over many years of practice, I've interestingly had some people relay to me that they were told by other experts that it's not possible to overcome anticipatory anxiety.

It is of great curiosity to me that anyone who offers specialized help in fear of flying would believe that anticipatory anxiety can't be overcome. (Though, I will also say that it does validate the reason I created my approach many years ago. The way professionals, including other therapists, coaches, and even pilots and airlines have approached the issue over time has been largely inadequate.) I have consistently in my practice seen people come through the other end of anticipatory anxiety. I've also seen a large number of people who not only have become settled with flying, but who have actually become excited by flying and now look for opportunities to travel more -- excitedly anticipating their trips as they grow closer rather than fearing or dreading them. Anticipatory anxiety is not a hopeless issue. It just isn't resolved the way people tend to imagine it should be.

What Do Other Approaches Miss?

Exposure Therapy and Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

If you've read my articles previously, you've probably read about my approaches with normalization, underlying causes, emotional regulation, and passenger flying education as the big four components that are woven together to help overcome fear of flying. When it comes to anticipatory anxiety, there is a lot happening that greatly differs from one person to the next, based on their own experiences and histories, emotionally, relationally, contextually, and more. While *ideally* simply normalizing flying and doing the related exercises would take care of anticipatory anxiety, when there is more going on in the underlying causes area, normalization can actually become blocked. This means no matter how much you may fly, or how much you work on something like exposure therapy, it can't break through or ease your anxiety. (It's also not easily possible to do exposure therapy with flying because of the limits of access to planes and how this process would need to be handled). This is one of the reasons why cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) isn't as effective as one would hope for fear of flying, and especially not for anticipatory anxiety. Behavioral approaches can be helpful with certain elements of flying at times, but these tend to only goes so far.

Pilots and Airline Programs

Another approach that people often try is seeking out pilots or airline sponsored programs to try to overcome their anticipatory anxiety and dread leading up to flying. Ultimately, these kind of approaches generally aim to teach you about flying, hoping you'll learn why you shouldn't be scared of flying. The idea is that if you know how flying works, then you won't be scared anymore. While the intentions are good, when is the last time you've experienced anxiety or panic and it actually worked when someone responded with all the reasons you shouldn't be scared?

I know pilots are well-meaning and intending to help, but if you're looking for help with fear of flying, my first suggestion wouldn't be to go to a pilot. Pilots are experts in flying the plane and in aviation. They aren't experts mental health, emotional processes, or in the way deeper emotions tend to become activated (or calmed), and how complex it can be to help people find their way through tremendous fear, panic, and anxiety. While pilots have tremendous knowledge and ability in the world of flying planes and in aviation, it is very rare that *knowing* about how flying works calms panic and anxiety more than a little bit.

You may be wondering how I know that the above methods are generally less helpful. The answer is pretty simple: Many people over time come to me after trying all of these different approaches still feeling anxious about flying.

Anticipatory Anxiety Isn't Rationally-Based

Anticipatory anxiety doesn't function in the rational brain. When people are in rational mode, the brain is in a very different state than when in panic, fear, and anxiety mode. More knowledge isn't going to do much to relieve the panic state. Fear of flying tends to push people into an anxiety and panic state that can't be easily reasoned with once it's activated.

When you're scared, rational thought essentially shuts down. You're just looking for safety at this point as if you're in imminent danger. Anticipatory anxiety can feel for many people like something between a low-grade and a full on panic attack for periods of time leading up to a flight, feeling as if you're preparing to walk into danger (both in mind and in body). For many, this starts the moment the ticket is purchased and the commitment is made. Though many others may not start to feel it until a month or less before the flight.

Anticipatory anxiety, believe it or not, can also often be about more than only the flight. The flight can be the catalyst that brings all of the vulnerability forward -- and it can of course be about the flight, as well. However, I have seen a significant number of people who are calm and grounded during flights with little to no anxiety at all, even on turbulent flights, who are still terrified leading up to every flight anyway.

Overcoming Anticipatory Anxiety and Fear of Flying

Anticipatory anxiety brings added layers that are different for each person (which is why the way I work with this issue is so personalized in bringing the components together). If you're trying to overcome anticipatory anxiety by focusing solely on the flight itself, it's likely not going to help you feel much better if what's causing the anticipatory anxiety is stemming from deeper anxieties and vulnerabilities that are tapped into by the flight. Anticipatory anxiety lives and breathes in the stored emotions that builds from experiences over time. When faced with an environment like flying, where it can tap into people's greatest vulnerabilities, this is when anticipatory anxiety wakes up the sleeping demons.

If you are struggling with anticipatory anxiety, fear of flying, or anxiety in general, it is not hopeless.

#fearofflying #Anxiety #PanicAttacks #Phobia #phobias #Anticipatoryanxiety

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Life’s going well

The American poet T. S. Eliot once wrote “April is the cruelest month,” and at least for me that always ringed true. April was the month that I always landed in the psych ward- ive landed there nore times in April than any other month. But not for a year :)
I am happy to say that I feel more stable than ever on my medication regiment now. My stability has contributed to me being able to have multiple part time jobs and even aspire to going back to school potentially to advance to a more permanent career. In addition to this,
I have also started testosterone replacement therapy and can say that I feel more confident and happier in my own skin.

Of course I did have to remove a few things from my life - addiction to marijuana, some patterns of negative thinking, medications that no longer served me, removing people who were bad for my mental health to make room for all that I deserve. My spirituality has also increased for which I am grateful to 12 step programs. All in all I’m very satisfied and happy with my life these days.

I never thought I’d be so happy much less being who I am. I am eternally grateful to modern medicine for allowing me to be the individual I am today. Cheers my friends and happy May!

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Stuck

Limiting what I say to prevent triggering anyone as best as I can. I am more or less stuck in life. No mater how hard I try I can not get a job. I’ve tried for more than a decade now. I have limited support from family(mainly food and a roof) & was not put into highschool. As a kid (15-16) I tried getting my birth certificate from them so I could join programs to help me work but was told to wait until I finished highschool. I completed applications throughout that time on my own. When I was 20 or 21 they put me in online highschool with enough time left for me to pass only if I completed multiple years each year for half a year before stopping it after noticing I couldn’t do it unassisted even though they knew I needed assistance. They then proceeded to take me to get my ged however refused to take me for the final test 3/4 completed. I’ve repeatedly applied for the vast majority of jobs in my area and have been denied throughout this time. In my free time I primarily talked in support groups, peer to peer support chats, and the non emergency crisis chat to vent, hope to find some resource to help with the situation. I checked with all of the resources in my area to see if I was applicable and aparently I’m not. 28 going on 29, no work experience, money, reliable transportation. Majority of services in the area get denied due to household income. I’ve got my id, social security card, no birth certificate, no papers that mention my disability, a old phone with cell service.
General location: Middleburg Fl

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I'm new here!

Hi, my name is MOElovealways. I'm here because I live with Mast Cell Activation Disorder, Connective Tissue Disease/EDS, POTS, TMJ, chronic pain, complex headache disorder, neck/spinal instability and have been disabled since 2014. I have knocked at death's door several times and barely survived CACS surgery (celiac artery compression syndrome) and am just now able to start reaching out to other people who understand what I have been and continue to endure. I am terrified by everything happening in 2025 politics, public policies, healthcare, research, Medicaid, Medicare, and Social Security Disability programs.

#MightyTogether #Migraine #Anxiety #Depression #Fibromyalgia

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For people like me and many others in our community, SSI, SNAP, LIHEAP, and affordable housing are not just lifelines, they are essential for survival

Why These Support Programs Matter

For people like me and many others in our community, SSI, SNAP, LIHEAP, and affordable housing are not just lifelines — they are essential for survival.

I’ve been disabled my entire life and physically disabled since 1989, though I didn’t fully realize it until 2015. Before that, I worked tirelessly, my earliest days behind a customer service counter at a flower shop, then, starting at 15 ‘legally’ (paying taxes), first in family businesses and then as a caregiver for over 25 years (and more).

Now, SSI is my only income, and without it, I would have nothing. The support I get through programs like LIHEAP (Low Income Home Energy Assistance Program), SNAP, and affordable housing is the difference between survival and not making it through the month. If any of these programs were reduced or cut, like some are being threatened with, my ability to pay bills, heat my apartment, or feed myself would be in jeopardy. When I tell you, I don’t ALREADY run my heat or air unless it’s health cost-inducing critical for me — has yet to turn my heater on this last 2 seasons, used my AC ONCE during the heat wave(s) we had — these programs are CRITICAL.

I’d also like to share that I am deeply grateful for the programs that do exist, and for every person working hard and paying taxes that make these supports possible. These programs are my only source of support, and without them, I wouldn’t survive. Full stop, I will not go back to previous circumstances to ‘keep safe’. Programs like SSI, SNAP, LIHEAP, and affordable housing are not luxuries — they are critical to ensuring people like me and many others who are disabled, elderly, or facing financial hardship can meet basic needs. I see every tax dollar as a lifeline, and I am thankful for those who contribute to the system that helps me and others like me.

How Much Does This Cost the Average Taxpayer?

I was concerned about the cost to taxpayers too, and I want to break it down so you can see the numbers clearly too. Below are the details based on the average taxpayer earning $60,000 annually, which reflects the median household income in Yamhill County, Oregon. This will give you a better sense of the financial contribution necessary to fund essential programs like SNAP and LIHEAP, which help people make it through the month.

The average cost per taxpayer to fund essential programs like SNAP and LIHEAP is about $43.95 every two weeks, or approximately $1,140 annually. This is the amount that goes towards funding these programs. While this may not seem like a lot to some, it plays a crucial role in supporting people who rely on these programs for basic survival.

Here’s a further breakdown:

SSI (Supplemental Security Income)

Average cost: $14.60 per paycheck (every two weeks).

This amounts to $379.60 per year.

SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program)

Average cost: $27.50 per paycheck (every two weeks).

This amounts to $715.00 per year.

LIHEAP (Low Income Home Energy Assistance Program)

Average cost: $0.85 per paycheck (every two weeks).

This amounts to $22.10 per year.

Affordable Housing Programs

Average cost: $0.80 per paycheck (every two weeks).

This amounts to $20.80 per year.

Total Taxpayer Cost for All Programs Combined:

Cost per paycheck: $43.95

Cost per year: $1,141.50 per taxpayer.

While $43.95 per paycheck might sound like a lot, when you divide it across the millions of taxpayers, it becomes clear that the individual cost is minimal compared to the benefits these programs provide. For one year of contributions to these programs, it costs each taxpayer about $1,140 annually.

Programs Impacted by Cuts

If these programs are cut or defunded, it will have a direct impact on people who are already struggling. Here’s a quick look at how these programs work and who depends on them:

SSI (Supplemental Security Income): Provides financial assistance to low-income individuals who are disabled, elderly, or blind. Many of us on SSI have no other income.

LIHEAP: Helps people pay their heating and cooling bills, keeping families safe during extreme weather.

SNAP: Provides food assistance for low-income individuals and families. This program is crucial for people who are unable to work and don’t have other sources of food.

Affordable Housing: Programs like HUD and rural tax credits help those of us with low incomes stay housed. Without these programs, many would be forced into homelessness.

The Importance of These Programs

When we look at the cost, it’s important to understand what we’re investing in. These programs ensure survival for the most vulnerable in our society, including people with disabilities, the elderly, and those facing financial hardship. They help millions of Americans, and without them, many would face extreme hardship. The $43.95 per paycheck ($1,141.50 per year) is a small price to pay to ensure that everyone in our community, especially those who are most vulnerable, has access to basic needs such as food, energy assistance, and housing. Without these programs, many people simply could not survive.

How Many People in Yamhill County Are Affected?

In Yamhill County, many people depend on these programs, especially seniors and people with disabilities. Cutting these programs would affect a significant portion of the population, including those who rely on them to stay housed, fed, and warm.

According to the National Council on Aging, more than 50% of seniors rely on these programs to avoid poverty. For people with disabilities, these programs are essential — without them, many of us would face dire consequences.

Why These Programs Matter

Some people argue that programs like SSI and SNAP are “handouts,” but I believe these are lifelines, not charity. Disability can happen to anyone — tonight, tomorrow, or in the years to come. Age catches up with all of us, and some of us find ourselves in situations where we can no longer work.

We need empathy and understanding. I’m not asking for sympathy but for recognition that the programs we rely on are necessary. The small amount that taxpayers contribute — about $43.95 every two weeks — is essential for helping people like me survive.

Acknowledging System Flaws While Supporting the Vulnerable

I want to acknowledge that there are instances where government programs are mismanaged or where some people game the system. I’m aware that fraud and abuse of these programs happen, and it’s frustrating to see that. However, cutting these programs will not solve those problems. Instead, it will punish the people who rely on them the most — those of us who genuinely need help and follow the rules.

The reality is that most people who depend on SSI, SNAP, LIHEAP, and affordable housing programs are not gaming the system. We are disabled, elderly, and low-income, doing our best to survive in a society that often overlooks us. When the funding for these programs is cut, it’s not the fraudulent cases that will be most affected — it will be people like me and many others who truly need these lifelines to get by.

While I understand the need for accountability and improvement within these programs, I’m also open to rethinking how we run them. I believe that compassionate safety nets, whether through communal, local, or government structures, should come first — so that we don’t fall through more cracks. Before cuts are made, we must ensure that the vulnerable are protected and that a system of support remains in place. There is no easy fix, but whatever changes are made, we need to make sure that those of us who depend on these programs don’t fall further behind.

***THIS IS CONTINUED IN THE COMMENTS***

(edited)
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I'm new here!

Hi, my name is Kai. I got covid in 2020 and been in a housebound state. With severe fatigue, food/chemical sensitivities

I've tried diets, supplements(neutraceuticals), detoxes, brain rewiring programs, energy healing, naturopaths, functional medicine doctors, and many more things.

Curious about the group and what's out there. I joined the slack group in 2020 but stopped checking by 2021. Back here again 2025.

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Going Through It

Hi!

It's been a while since I've posted. I have a lot going on. I am working full-time at a psychiatric hospital teaching yoga therapy. I am also a full-time student through an online program, and also in a few yoga therapy courses right now on top of that. My fiancé just moved to Texas from Massachusetts, and I won't be joining him until after our wedding in June. We have a very short engagement so I am trying to plan a wedding in just 3 months, prepare to move to Texas, find a job down there, while in school and yoga therapy programs AND work full-time. I'm exhausted always and I am struggling to keep up. I should be working on homework right now but I am so stressed that I would rather do online shopping for my wedding but I really don't have extra funds, so I shouldn't be spending any money. I just start to shut down when I'm overwhelmed and I recognize that that is happening. I really want to go back to the gym for my physical and mental health, but I have no extra energy to do that - even though it'll probably help me in the long run.

Due to the stress, my OCD symptoms have come back in full-force and my ADHD is hindering me, too. My anxiety is so intense. Luckily, the depression isn't bad... I'm too anxious to be depressed... But I do miss my fiancé a lot. The stress is getting to us and causing us to argue a lot, which makes the distance feel even harder. I am so sad and feel like I'm breaking down but I can't let myself crumble because I have way too much going on, and way too much to take care of.

Thank you, for anyone still reading. I could use some encouragement, compassion, and prayers! I am choosing to trust in God moment-to-moment, constantly surrendering, but doubt and fear seems to torment me. I am so afraid of what could go wrong. All the fears and trauma that I thought I healed from seems to be resurfacing. Thoughts? Advice?

I appreciate this community. Thank you all.

#ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Anxiety #Trauma #MentalHealth #MightyTogether #CheckInWithMe #CheerMeOn #ADHD #ADHDInGirls

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