Having a rough week

Having a rough week
Seizures
I’m new here!
Hi, my name is NurseGaga. I'm here because my granddaughter was born prematurely and has a brain injury.
INSANITY?
I have multiple brain injury. Am 100% disabled, owned construction company since 1983. built dozens of homes,hundreds of remodels. Stricken down in 2005, lost everything.
Yesterday I was at complete physical, mental, emotional exhaustion, needed to rest the whole weekend to recover but felt I needed to move a trailer, was on a hill side and truck tires kept spinning, kept pushing to do it, over and over until I was screaming and swearing at the top of my lungs, pushing till very dangerous, almost tipped trailer over........kept getting so angry to uncontrolled insanity.........I didn't even actually need to move trailer, now I have to move it back.......WHY? Why did I believe it was paramount to do? Why when I began to get angry could I not STOP? …....Insanity? Neighbor came over to help, calmed me down, asked why I was moving it? Realized it was insanity and finally calmed down. Why could I not control myself? Insanity? Self will? A false thought pushing me to destruction.....WHY? Why could I not stop myself and wait? Why could I not reason and control myself......made fool of myself, scared neighbors including children, caused imminent danger.....WHY? Insanity? How can I prevent this from ever happening again? PLEASE give me input, tools, what can I do?
insanity.........?
I have multiple brain injury. am 100% disabled, owned const company since 1983. built dozens of homes, hundreds of remodels. stricken down, lost everything.
yesterday I was at complete physical, mental, emotional exhaustion, needed to rest the whole weekend to recover but felt I needed to move a trailer, was on hill side and truck tires kept spinning, kept pushing to do it, over and over until I was screaming and swearing at the top of my lungs, pushing till very dangerous, almost tipped trailer over.....kept getting so angry to insanity.......I didn't even need to move trailer, now I have to move it back.....WHY? why did I believe it was paramount to do, why when I began getting angry could I not STOP?.....insanity? neighbor came over to help, calmed me down, asked why I was moving it? Realized it was insanity? self will, a thought pushing me to destruction.....why? why could I not stop and wait? Why could I not reason and control myself......made fool of myself, scared neighbors caused imminant danger.....WHY? insanity? How can I prevent this from ever happening again? PLEASE give me input what can I do?
Frustrated? Secret?
Could anyone explain how I can connect and or get help here? It's starting to feel like Facebook? #help #TBI #BrainInjury #frustrating #confused
New job new lies
I’ve just started a new job after being in the previous one for 20 years.
Cannot manage to be good about it, I feel like my colleagues will soon discover that I am not that good and I will have to quit.
I used to be a very good software engineer until my brain injury, after I felt only constant struggle.
Anyone who has been in a similar situation? If you want share how did it go in the comments?
Thank you all for listening mighty people, may the world be kind with you
The Acceptance Journey
Am I in the right place #TBI #BrainInjury
How to I get help or assistance with my problems? #TraumaticBrainInjury #cognitive overload #Problems -communicating #Totally -alone #confused