Hey everyone!
My name is Lauren, I'm 27-years-old and I'm from upstate New York. I suffer from Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, ADHA, and Borderline Personality Disorder.
I used to be a very ambitious young woman. I'm a Freshman in college to earn my Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology. I took the big leap last March because I figured it was either now or never. However, I had no idea what the future had in store for me.
I was doing amazing in school, and my job wasn't getting to me as bad anymore. You see, my old job was a place where dreams go to die. My boss, who was a doctor, couldn't have cared less about her staff - unless you kissed her ass - let alone her patients. She only cares about money. Not to mention all the workplace bullying that I had to endure almost daily, yet her never doing anything about it. She cut my pay without telling me; which is illegal unless she notifies me 7 days before, and she didn't. And the worst of all...She treated me as if I was a crazy child. She felt like I needed accommodations because of my BPD, though I never asked for them. She stopped believing me about the bullying and even gave me a babysitter. Yep. A babysitter to make sure I was doing my job.
Backup to before I told her I was diagnosed with BPD. I failed one class in my second semester; which was a bummer, but work was what was making this all worse. It was a giant snowball effect. One failed class turned into two, work was getting more stressful with the bullying, and before I knew it I snapped. I was no longer me. Yes, I'm aware that a mental illness just magically happens. However, this was a slow burn/build-up. Then after I snapped, is when I was diagnosed. Slowly, it all started to make sense.
That was back in October. Now, I'm on the verge of getting dropped from college if I don't pass every class this semester. I quit my job, had another lined up, my boss literally BEGGED me to come back and offered me higher pay with part-time hours to help me with school and focusing on my mental health. Last night, she fired me via text message. So, I also have no income to pay for my bills.
Ever since I have gotten this diagnosis of , I feel as if nothing good has happened to me/for me. I know I'm just being paranoid and I'm 100% in control of my life, but until I can manage and cope with this, I feel stuck. Like I'm not in control. Lost and never going to find my way. The old me is gone forever, that I'm sure of. I can only hope that the new me is as strong as the old, and doesn't fuck up what the old me worked so hard to build and accomplish. #BPD #firstpost #Blog #aboutme #copeandmanage #MentalHealth #mentaldisorder #isthereanybodyoutthere