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This is going to be a long vent.. so I apologize.

I thought that my preferred clinic had a nonbinary option, but I remembered that it was only on one of their forms. The other form said “m or f” so I just put nonbinary on top of it (which was the only form I was given).

It just plain sucks. For example, earlier this year, I forced myself to change my gender marker to Male on my ID since I despise being seen as female, but even though I’m transmasc, it’s still not satisfactory. And while being there, I was misgendered as a woman a ton. 😒

We have to freaking wait for 3 more freaking years for a gender neutral marker in the US, and I’m so sick of waiting for that long already!

Shopping online sucks, too. Today, I was so mad that computer glasses were gendered. They’re freaking computer glasses!! And I still like some feminine stuff and being androgynous but hate that everything feminine is labeled “for ladies”. And although I know that clothes don’t equal gender, seeing those “women/girls” and “men/women” labels still trigger my dysphoria. And you may say “well, there are markets out there who make clothes gender neutral and aim for inclusiveness for those outside the binary”, but 1) most of them cost too much money that I don’t want to spend and we’re not rich, and 2) they’re not really my style of clothing.

And I hate when companies (or anything/anyone) say or put options for those out of the gender binary, but then don’t use gender neutral language at all, like “mom/dad” or the worst one, “ladies and gentlemen”… Like we don’t just want to be included in gender options, but in everyday language, too! Especially if someone’s interested in specific topics like bdsm and doesn’t want to be freaking fetishized for being trans like come on 🙄

I’m not a freaking fetish.

Anyway, this is the reason why I may appear anti-social and why I have my headphones on whenever I go outside. That and I tried to not made being nonbinary not do obvious, but no. Since from being misgendered a lot no matter what I freaking look like, I’ve had it and now my hat, mask, and patches clearly state that I’m nonbinary and to not call me miss, ma’am, or she. So that those who can read can see it very obviously. My social dysphoria is that bad.

Having to put up with this almost everyday is so tiring and annoying and just… ugh.

#nonbinary #genderqueer #GenderDysphoria #LGBTQIA #venting #itsucks #SocialAnxiety #Autism