Gender Dysphoria

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I had plans today and it just HAD to be ruined! Did the construction workers HAD to come in today?! Now I can’t come out of my fucking room without fearing of being misgendered and trying to avoid them. I have severe social dysphoria. I’m non-binary, not a girl.. 😢

Not only that, but I’m TRYING to record something before my sister’s kids are home for summer break next week (which is a pain in the ass because of overstimulation), and I don’t have much time left before they do!

Please tell me they’ll leave soon…

#MyAutismIsNotADisorder #GenderDysphoria #nonbinary #LGBTQIA #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #why #justwhy

Hi, my name is Magickim7. I'm worried about
My daughter who may have BPD. I need to find a therapist for her and didactic therapy as well as the other. She has body or gender dysphoria as well and I’m worried this is bc of the BPD. She was a happy as a child, and then came puberty. It is like she doesn’t fit in. Doesn’t want to talk to people. she.is brilliant and does not take kudos for her accomplishments. She was diagnosed with depression and anxiety 2years ago and we don’t see that therapist any longer. That therapist said you don’t want to have BPD. Like she didn’t want to deal with the therapy. She sent us to Children’s Hospital to gender clinic because of the gender disphoria. 2 years later I’m dealing with a kid who thinks she wants to become a boy. I was never in the therapy meeting with her. I feel like they took my child away and now she will be 18 in a matter of months. Shouldn’t we treat mental illness before we let our children get a sex change. I don’t know if this is really who she will become, “A man”, but I want her to get the mental help she needs to feel like she is a functioning human being that can make real life decisions before she makes a life altering decision like this one.I only hope it is not too late to get her help. I feel that I was not getting her the therapy she needs. The clinic is all affirming. She also has a Amplified Pain Syndrome, under the regional pain umbrella. It is exactly what it sounds like, a person feels pain more intensely for some reason or for no reason at all. So why would you want to put a person like that through surgery? She is not dealing with her mental health, but thinks she can have top surgery and start Testosterone all next month and healed in a months time. She could be feeling the affects for a long time. I know some people out there will be against everything I’ve just said. I just don’t want her to regret making such a big decision. She does not have all the facts. That fact that she thinks everything is reversible is wrong.

Also TW For misgendering and breakdowns
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This is why life is so goddamn hard when the kids are home. Why? Just fucking why? Children high-pitch noises upset me (I live with my sister and her 2 kids) but I despise being misgendered as a girl. I’m non-binary, damn it! It’s like no matter how OBVIOUS I try to make it, they still mistake me as a lady. 😡 As someone with severe social dysphoria, it doesn’t help. At all. It leads to breakdowns 100% of the time now.

Thanks, America /sarc /neg /nbh

#MyAutismIsNotADisorder #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #why #nonbinary #imnonbinary #GenderDysphoria #Life #Family #venting #TriggerWarnings

TW Mentions of fat-shaming, swearing, bugs, some all caps, misgendering, exclusionism #venting
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Seriously, why does this damn society seem to think that just because you look overweight instantly leads to believing they have health problems or the only ones capable of health problems? You can look skinny, or average, or look really healthy (even have a bunch of muscles!) and can - still - have health problems regarding weight or how you eat.

Now I’m remembering someone in 2018 who just came up to me and was very kind and told me their way of how they lost weight. I was just sitting there, minding my own business. I thought that they were being very nice and just giving advice, and now I feel like a fucking fool because it was JUST BECAUSE I LOOKED OVERWEIGHT!

Today, it honestly doesn’t help that when I’m told how I should eat or exercise, I get imposter syndrome all over again. I’m an adult. I already suffer from anxiety and despise this ridiculous judgemental ignorant world. I know I’m overweight. When I’ve had enough of life, I have the urge for comfort food. I know what I’m eating isn’t really that healthy, I admit that, and I’ve always TOLD myself that I should eat healthy, not to look skinnier, but to at least be healthier, and had even made plans to cut out some thing I should eat.…it’s hard. I have a lot of shit going on right now. Does society even understand that?!

I’m already stressed that the weather is already getting warmer here than I like, which means more bugs (flies, gnats) and possibly fleas again, so I’m trying to plan the best way to make this problem not so irritating including doing things that my sister continuously says that I shouldn’t do which also fucking irritates me to max (tying the garbage bags… it keeps the gnats away and I even SAID that I’ll buy more bags for us). Last summer was horrible and I do NOT want it to come. Spring is also about to betray me as well.

I am non-binary and have severe social gender dysphoria and hate being misgendered as a fucking “she”, which means I mostly stay inside all the time because of how painful it is.

I suffer from trust issues because of how much the world is a piece of garbage. “Cringe” this, “snowfl*king” that, “faking” this, seriously. Why.

My sister’s kids are on spring break and their loud footsteps irritate my autism whether or not I like to admit that.. trying to not to seem like I hate them (which I don’t, I love them!!). And all I’m trying to do is to get myself CALM.

Those are just four things. There are many more I can list. So even trying to be healthy is a struggle either because of poor mental health or that I’ve given up at that moment. I want to live… but it’s to eat healthy or exercise because of all of this crap. Does society even understand that?!

#MyAutismIsNotADisorder #Fatshaming #fat #Overweight #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #ImposterSyndrome #DearSociety #nonbinary #EatingDisorders #EatingIssues #eating #EatingHealthyIsNotEasy #MentalHealth #LGBTQIA #BeingHealthyIsNotEasy #sad #BodyShaming #BodyImage

So I haven't been able to check in lately but I hit another bump in the road. While I was trying to go to the movies with a friend, someone came over and just started hitting me. I won't repeat what they said because it was horrible. I've been in the hospital recovering, just had to get a new phone, it was broken when I tried to call the police. I hope everyone has been doing well and I hope to be up later to check in with everyone. #Depression #GenderDysphoria #Anxiety

Every day Every moment out Every single time I hear the whispers I hear the giggles I hear the anger
I see the glances I see the stares I see the peering eyes I feel the mocking I feel the confusion I feel the rage
When will we be free to be ourselves? When will we feel safe in our own neighborhoods? When we will be able to be happy?
Freak weirdo idiot pervert those are the words used as tools to put us down
Dismissing us simply because they don't understand us
Our world is so full of anger, rage and confusion that all we do is attack others we don't understand just because that's the "norm"
When will we all find peace and acceptance #GenderDysphoria #Depression #Anxiety #MentalIllness

#GenderDysphoria so I have been in constant therapy which will be shortened next week so I'm going to have to prioritize what I need to go over. I know I'm much more blessed with the amount of sessions per week and the length of my sessions but it's still scary to think about having less time. I've been able to let my true authentic self come out more here which has been amazing! I'm on a new antidepressant and anxiety med and I'm still waiting for them to really start to work. I hope everyone has been doing well!!

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It hurts,
It fucking hurts.
It kills,
It always did.
Sad excuses left and right,
Ignorance is left to bite…
Me.
And Us.

“Systems and plurals are crazy,”
According to this planet.
“There’s only men and women,”
According to this planet.
“There’s only heterosexuality,”
According to this planet.
“Sex define your gender identity,”
According to this planet.
“There’s only monogamy and monoamory,”
According to this planet.
“White folk deserve more than those of color,”
According to this planet.
“There’s only romance and friendship,”
According to this planet.

“Everyone’s autism is a disorder or disability,”
According to this damn planet.
“Neurodivergent folks are too loud,”
According to this damn planet.
“Fat folks are a joke,”
According to this damn planet.
“Sex and romance and love is natural among all beings,”
According to this damn planet.
“Adults can’t cry,”
According to this damn planet.
“Mental health is selfish,”
According to this damn planet.
“Trigger warnings are a joke,”
According to this damn planet.
“You should stop being poor and pay more,”
According to this damn planet.
“Everyone should identify as a human being and alterbeings, otherkin, and fictionkin folks are snowflakes and ‘cringe-worthy’,”
According to this damn planet.
“Anything that is not seen as ‘normal’ or not common should be stigmatized and criticized until it makes other folk want to closet themselves for eternity and be forced into this void of hell called “being like everyone else’,”
According to this damn forsaken planet.

Past mother’s self,
Mentally abusive.
Keeps me up,
As thoughts are still intrusive.
New mother’s self,
No longer abusive,
Past mother keeps me up,
As they are still intrusive.

—

Fuck ignorance.
What’s it ever done to us?
Take the Mars and Venus symbol,
Combine them together,
And destroy it altogether.
Neither are truly me.
Take the “human” label and wash it away,
And don’t tell me I’m human,
Else I will cry,
I’ve cried too much.
Alterbeings exist anyway.
An alien hybrid trapped in this damn realm called Earth,
I love space,
I miss my home,
It was much more quieter than here,
Much more sensical than here,
Much more reasonable than here,
Much… less ignorant.

Than here.

——

I am a non-binary transmasc overweight individual who is part of a system/plural. My pronouns are he/they/it, and some others. I do not identify as a human, I am alterhuman/alterbeing, although I still identify as someone of color. I’m black/mixed. I have 6 non-romantic partners who I all love equally with my entire heart and are also part of the same system I’m a part of, they are as real as ever. Also, I despise my autism being called a disorder or disability.

And I’m so sick of feeling ignored, and of what Earth had to offer for the past 20 years of my life on its ground. Thank you.

#MyAutismIsNotADisorder #nonbinary #LGBTQIA #ignorance #Poem #Vent #TW #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #Alterhuman #otherkin #Racism #Capitalism #Trauma #Polyamory #system #plural #EndTheStigma #GenderIdentity #GenderDysphoria #MentalHealth #Awareness #earth #Homesick #StopSilencingUs

I'm thrilled! That's all!

I worked hard to navigate college and then graduate school with various disabilities, and somehow.... I did it! I am continuing to write a novel and now looking for a new job as I finish my mental health IOP !

#writer #Disability #ChronicIllness #MentalHealth #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Autism #ADHD #Dyscalculia #TicDisorders #EatingDisorders #PolycysticOvarySyndrome #GenderDysphoria #Migraine #PostconcussionSyndrome #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #NonverbalLearningDisability #Trauma #DependentPersonalityDisorder #Recovery