Contemplating the difficult conversation to be had ..
So, I have a best friend... He's amazing! He is aware of a good portion of the trauma that I've experienced, but there is a part of me, a large part of my story, that I have not yet told him about.. let me be clear, my reasoning for not volunteering such information, isn't because of malicious intent, or to try to fool him into thinking I'm far greater than I am. If he were to ask me directly, whether I was or wasn't _______ ,I would not lie to him, nor deny the truth, but I don't want him treating me different soley based on societal stigma that surrounds people like myself. I haven't told him that I've struggled with addiction for all of my adult life so far, because I wanted him to get to know ME as a person, as I am, without the influence of societal stigmas or influence. I wanted him to judge me by my character, by my heart, rather than by my personal battles with substances. I have never lied to him, nor would I. He is such an important part of my life, & I don't want the fact that I struggle with drug addiction, to influence the person he has grown to know. How should I go about sharing this very intimate, very serious, information with him?? Or should I? I don't want him to ever feel as though I'm hiding things from him, but this is a part of myself & my life, that I'm certainly not proud of, but at the same time, I'm not the typical drug addict that our society's stigma would have u in fear of or look down upon. I am not the type of person who would rob u or jack your shit, as soon as ur back was turned. I believe in respect, in respecting the property & homes of others. I have "old-school" beliefs- as in if it ain't yours, don't touch it! If you're in somebody's house, you respect that. You don't just waltz into someone's residence, u wait to be invited in. I believe in having good manners! Saying please & thank u, in opening doors for others, in pushing in your chair when leaving a table, I believe in integrity. I'm not ruthless, I'm a human being, who was introduced to Meth at the age of 18,by my 1st abusive (ex) husband, who introduced me to it, with the intention of me getting hooked on it. I have the biggest heart, & would do anything I could to help anyone in need, without hesitation. But I've been battling addiction for 8yrs now, & I only want for me to be judged by my character, by my genuine intentions, & not by the demons I fight. #NotEvenOnce #Justsayno