sobriety

It's been a month since my husband of 23 years very suddenly passed away. We had been separated since May of last year bcuz of addiction & the loss of hope. It took years for me to leave. I had to save us from each other, if that makes sense. We have always loved each other & that never changed even after we separated. Recently we had come to the place where we could finally talk to each other again. Like friends, like 2 ppl who can't stop loving each other. I asked for his forgiveness & he gave it freely. The next evening I got the dreaded phone call. The only man I had ever loved was gone. I was out of state in a treatment program for over 90 days. The last time I saw him was when he came to say bye to me when I decided to leave for rehab back in late October. Now I'm back in our home like I had been wishing for but now I have to live knowing he's never coming home to me. It gets harder every single day that I wake up & realize all over again that this is real. I buried my husband. I am not ok & it's so hard to answer ppl when they ask how I am or if I'm ok. I don't even know what to say bcuz I'm so numb so I just say I'm ok. It's a lie. I'm not ok. I'm going crazy inside. I wanna scream & cry. I want to rage. All I do is think about him & how I didn't get to see him since that day in October. He was so proud of me & I'm still sober today but this pain is debilitating & I can hardly cope. I need prayers. #Love #Grief #Loss #regret #Guilt #Addiction #Sobriety

She is both my sanity and my frustration. Only 9 months old. She came to me a month before I had to put down my old girl Sasha that helped me get clean. She is not Sasha, but Miss Bluebell here is healing my heart every day

Hi all! If you’re just joining us, welcome! Please take a moment to tell us your story, so we can be part of your recovery. If you need support, just ask. Help is only one post away.

#SubstanceAbuse #Addiction #AddictionRecovery #Sobriety

It’s a daily, even hourly battle sometimes! My pattern of self judgement, having a negative perspective of myself and having a powerful self critic has won battles (mostly in my head) for decades. But “listening” to all those comments and owning all the things they have kept me from doing has given me the opportunity to observe and acknowledge those thought patterns and start to replace my judgemental brain’s processes with positive thoughts…like at the end of the day instead of saying “I’m overwhelmed” say “It was a long day but I accomplished some goals and learned a lot about myself…and I’m going to rest now so I can start again tomorrow”. Those specific words don’t always fit, but the perspective and positivity has changed things for me…even if it’s been a busy draining day, I can say things like “I survived another busy day filled with challenges and I look forward to start with them again tomorrow…now I’m going to have some pizza and binge watch some TV” 😉

Just flipped the script, paid attention to how I said things and how they made me feel, and not defeat myself and allow myself to feel overwhelmed. I worked on this for weeks with a life coach to define them and now my main homework from her is simply practice Awareness…paying attention! I even named that inner critic and wrote out lists of what it has said and what it’s kept me from doing…like living in the moment and seeing myself in a positive way. “Grant me the serenity”… it’s that simple (but can be so hard to do!) But I learned a long time ago that some of the most difficult challenges can be the most rewarding …and leave me feeling really good about myself! “…and the wisdom to know that I’m a good person with a kind heart”…yessss

#MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #PTSD #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #Disability #Addiction #AddictionRecovery #twelvesteps #12steps #Serenity #wisdom #courage #BackPain #Pain #HIVAIDS #Sobriety #COVID19 #Migraine #RareDisease #MightyMinute #TheMighty #MightyTogether #MentalHealthHero

We are fighting invisible battles others can’t see and sometimes TRYING can just be DOING THE NEXT RIGHT THING, not worry about what others can say who don’t understand chronic pain and who sometimes judge and demean us. But we can ignore them and be gentle with ourselves, to love and believe in ourselves. This is a lifelong journey and I often have to try to do so one day at a time. I know pain, I know struggles and I hear you, I believe in you, and can relate. I’ve been there and I have hope and believe we all can survive and thrive, overcome challenges, and become stronger!

I am a fighter, I am a warrior, and so are you. Just being here and trying to find others walking the same path means you care about yourself and want to feel better! … and many times if we try hard enough we will succeed! If we try hard enough the sky's the limit, it starts with self love then continues into good self care, and learning and believing how to love ourselves. Some days I have to try very hard to love myself and be gentle with myself, but it’s so worth the effort!

Most days I try to stay positive, try to hold on, try to stay afloat, try to find my flow and balance, try to not let my pain take over and be the only thing I think about. I try to welcome each day with hope, optimism, promise and know that I am capable of doing more than my body tells me I can do. I feel it more those nights, the pain can catch up with me…but I must give myself credit, to acknowledge what I've accomplished. The hardest thing is to be motivated and fight through the pain when my body just wants to stay stuck here sitting.

But being active doesn’t just lift my spirits … It also provides periods, even just moments, when I don’t think about my pain. And my doctor says that walking and exercising actually helps my body even though my mind tells me it is going to feel much worse, that I will be bringing on more pain.

It’s a daily battle to get out and go for that walk. Yet that is the very thing that partially helps… even though I fear that it will hurt. My mind tells me that exercising will just make me hurt more at the end of the day…but I have ways I can practice self care, ways to treat the pain…so I try to believe I can do so, that l have been through worse. I try to just get through the days knowing I have just Done The Next Right Thing. I went for that walk, I got to the gym, or just simply got out of bed and took a shower. I've practiced self care that shows I love myself. Yes, I TRIED but I succeeded beyond my wildest imagination!

#ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #ChronicDepression #ChronicMigraines #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar1Disorder #Bipolar2Disorder #BipolarDepression #Addiction #AddictionRecovery #Sobriety #HIVAIDS #longtermsurvivor #PTSD #Disability #Pain #PainAcceptance #BackPain #neckpain #COVID19 #Migraine #Headache #Grief #LossOfAParent #Acceptance #Selfcare #Selflove