Like it says in this meme, I can feel upset, confused, frustrated, depressed, angry, despondent and especially lonely. … as I have spent too much time isolated and stuck at home due to my physical limitations. Recently I’ve had to step back from this group to focus on the layers of self care my body needs and the very regular doctor and health appointments I go to have really drained my energy. Meanwhile I have lost a close relative, a close friend and the branch of the men's group I’ve met with weekly for 6 years sadly officially disbanded & had our last meeting last week. At first these all became holes, empty spaces in my life. all people and a group where I felt very safe, felt loved and they were people who knew my past struggles and meandering path..and were always there for me.
It was really tough to lose all that support at the same time. I felt even more alone at a time when I have been in severely distracting pain and I’ve been physically and emotionally drained every day. I had nothing to give anyone else when I would usually have been supportive and always tried to be here for you.
Today my health is just a little better, and I’ll take small victories … My Physical Therapist just cleared me to go back for daily walks and/or go back to the gym. (I've been seeing him for my spine (neck/shoulder & back - injured in my second concussion) and ankle & foot (injured in an earlier fall) … and today the Neurologist specialist told me very confidently that I definitely don’t have Parkinson’s Disease, which we had feared. For almost a year I presented the same symptoms, and he stopped, changed dosages & changed meds very aggressively, did scans & tests and monitored me regularly. Yet he was very happy to see that my Essential Tremors are almost completely gone and my balance is better. I had other symptoms like brain fog, memory problems, very regular migraines, and worsened Neuropathy due to Covid Long Haul and then the brain injuries. With the more recent concussion all these things have intensified and the way I fell put pressure on my spine -neck down to lower back which have been the most troubling areas and triggers for the chronic pain.
I just keep doing the next right thing, treating what hurts the most first, then the next, and the next …and accepting my limitations; adapting my lifestyle; and I keep hoping that some symptoms will be over sooner than later. Over time I have settled into a routine of self care; and let myself to just BE, and not have to DO things all the time!
I’ve been worn out and missed many posts or comments here and haven’t supported you guys as much as I had been for over 3 years now. When I started this group I pledged to myself that I would respond to all posts, comments or replies. It has been an honor for me to help maintain this group and that you all trust me and each other. You all have helped me to create the safe “container” of this group where people feel comfortable enough to share, support each other and it has been rewarding to see the way people have connected with each other when they share things in common. We have grown into a strong, diverse and unique community!
#MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #Disability #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Selflove #Selfcare #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar1 #Bipolar2 #BipolarDepression
#ADHD #COVID19 #Migraine #Headache #HIVAIDS #PeripheralNeuropathy #BackPain #neckpain #Addiction #AddictionRecovery #IfYouFeelHopeless #Hope #CheckInWithMe #MightyTogether #DistractMe