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Motivation Monday! Overthink the Best 😊

Your brain is incredible. It has the power to relearn, reset and make different choices. It takes SO much energy to overthink (coming from a chronic over thinker) ...
What is, instead, you decided to overthink the best case scenario? Could you try it out today? Let us know in the comments what happens!
#Addiction #AddictionRecovery #ADHD #Anxiety #Autism #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BipolarDepression #BipolarDisorder #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #CeliacDisease #Depression #Epilepsy #KidneyDisease #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Cancers #Lupus #Migraine #AutonomicDysfunction #PTSD #Hemophilia #SjogrensSyndrome #Endometriosis #InterstitialCystitis #HearingLoss #Deafness #SuicidalThoughts #Selfharm #Selfcare #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #Epilepsy #JointHypermobilitySyndrome #IrritableBowelSyndromeIBS

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Tip Tuesday- The Truth Behind Venting

Oftentimes, we vent because we think it'll make us feel better. But have you ever stopped to notice how you actually feel after the vent session is over?
Now, this does not mean you shouldn't vent or share problems with a trusted person who can help you problem solve or listen. I just wanted to share a helpful tip I learned in therapy. Since I stopped "venting" as much, my emotional reactions are better and I'm not as upset as often. I hope it helps you today. 🙂
#Addiction #AddictionRecovery #AutonomicDysfunction #Agoraphobia #Anxiety #AnorexiaNervosa #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #MentalHealth #BipolarDepression #BipolarDepression #BackPain #Blindness #CeliacDisease #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #Epilepsy #EatingDisorders #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #Endometriosis #FamilyAndFriends #Fibromyalgia #Gastroparesis #Grief #Headache #JointHypermobilitySyndrome #HearingLoss #HemiplegicMigraine #Insomnia #ADHD #BipolarDepression #BipolarDisorder #PTSD #Trauma

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Finding a new psychiatrist

I walked into my first appointment with my new psychiatrist feeling nervous but hopeful. I had just moved from New York to South Carolina which is a big life change and I wanted to get re-evaluated after ten years of being on medication. My goal was simple: I wanted to see if I could begin lowering my doses and continue healing in a balanced, thoughtful way.

The very first thing she said to me was, “I hear you’re here for your ADHD meds?”
Immediately, my guard went up. I felt judged before I had even opened my mouth. I wasn’t there to ask for a prescription; I was there to build a new connection and explore my options. I quickly replied, “No, I’m looking for a new psychiatrist because I just moved here.”

But the tone of the appointment never shifted. She started asking rapid questions like how many providers I’d seen, what aggression looked like for me, which medications didn’t work, do you have access to fire arms? I answered honestly, even mentioning that I had just gotten married. Not even a smile. No “congratulations.” She stayed distant, clinical, and cold.

I found myself doing what I often do when I feel misunderstood — overexplaining, trying to prove I’m a “good patient,” trying to please someone who already seemed to have made up her mind. Instead of hearing me out, she decided to increase my bipolar medication. The irony? I came there hoping to *reduce* it.

It was clear she saw me through the lens of a diagnosis, not as a person. Because I’m in recovery, asking about ADHD medication seemed to trigger her assumption that I was drug-seeking. That hurt deeply. I left the office feeling unseen, ashamed, and frustrated not because my meds were changed, but because my voice wasn’t valued.

At the end of the visit she did not give me my ADHD medicine. She did write me a referral to a new doctor putting down I am bipolar/depression which she asked me about my depression and I told her I am usually not depressed, I am hypo-manic. I'm getting a second opinion, and this time, I’m going in more prepared to advocate for myself. But the whole experience reminded me how much stigma still exists even in the rooms meant to help us heal.
#Addiction #AddictionRecovery #ADHD #BipolarDisorder

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Living with Addiction and Mental Health Challenges Virtual Support Group! 2nd Tuesdays, 2:30-4 PM ET & 4th Tuesdays, 5:30-7 PM

Living with Addiction and Mental Health Challenges is a virtual peer support group for any adult living with addiction and mental health challenges.

💻 If you'd like more information or would like to join, you can find the link here. Virtual groups are every 2nd Tuesdays, 2:30-4 PM & 4th Tuesdays, 5:30-7PM Eastern Standard Time. Closed captioning is available: naminycmetro.org/programs/living-with-addiction-and-mental-h...

If you have any questions, feel free to comment below!

#CheckInWithMe #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Depression #Anxiety #MentalHealth #Recovery #Addiction #AddictionRecovery #SubstanceRelatedDisorders #PostTraumaticStressDisorder #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Selfharm

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Addiction and Mental Health: When the System Fails the People It Was Meant to Protect By BigmommaJ

We talk a lot about personal responsibility when it comes to addiction and mental health.
We talk far less about system responsibility.

That silence matters—because for many people, addiction is not a failure of willpower. It is the predictable outcome of fragmented systems, delayed intervention, and policies that respond to crisis instead of prevention.

In Canada, substance use and mental health challenges continue to rise, particularly among individuals with histories of trauma, poverty, child welfare involvement, and untreated mental illness (Canadian Centre on Substance Use and Addiction [CCSA], 2023).

Yet our systems remain largely disconnected, reactive, and risk-driven.

Addiction Is Not the Root Problem

Addiction is a symptom, not the disease.

Research consistently shows strong links between substance use, trauma exposure, adverse childhood experiences, and mental illness (Public Health Agency of Canada [PHAC], 2023).

When addiction is treated in isolation—without addressing trauma, attachment, housing instability, or mental health—outcomes are predictably poor.
People are told:

“Get sober first, then we’ll treat your mental health.”

“Stabilize your mental health, then address the addiction.”

For individuals living in survival mode, this binary approach is not only unrealistic—it is clinically unsound. Best-practice Canadian frameworks clearly support integrated treatment for concurrent disorders, yet access remains inconsistent across provinces (Mental Health Commission of Canada [MHCC], 2021).

Fragmented Care Creates Predictable Harm

Mental health services, addiction treatment, income assistance, housing supports, and child welfare often operate in silos. Each system has its own eligibility rules, waitlists, and thresholds—many of which require a level of stability that the individual does not yet have.
The result:

Emergency department become default mental health providers.

Detox programs function as revolving doors instead of pathways to recovery.

Relapse is treated as non-compliance rather than a feature of chronic conditions.

Recovery cannot happen without continuity of care, something Canada’s own national mental health strategy has long identified as a critical gap (MHCC, 2022).

The Child Welfare Connection We Don’t Talk About Enough

A significant proportion of adults with substance use and mental health challenges have histories of:

*Childhood trauma

*Foster care or group care placements

*Family separation

*Chronic instability an attachment disruption

Canadian child welfare research consistently shows overrepresentation of families affected by poverty, trauma, and parental substance use—yet responses remain surveillance-focused rather than supportive (Fallon et al., 2020).

Children learn early that systems remove—but rarely return to heal.

Years later, those same children are labeled “high-risk adults.”

This is not coincidence.
It is systemic continuity of harm.

Stigma Is Embedded in Policy

Stigma is not just interpersonal—it is structural.
Policies that discharge people for relapse, deny services due to “non-compliance,” or prioritize short-term outcomes over long-term stabilization actively reinforce harm. The Mental Health Commission of Canada has repeatedly emphasized that recovery-oriented care must be person-centred, trauma-informed, and non-punitive—yet implementation remains uneven (MHCC, 2021).

We would never discharge a person with diabetes for unstable blood sugar.

Yet we routinely abandon people with chronic mental illness and addiction for displaying symptoms.

Recovery Requires More Than Motivation

Motivation alone cannot overcome:

*Unsafe housing

*Poverty

*Untreated trauma

*Lack of culturally responsive services

Systems that retraumatize through control and exclusion
Healing requires safety, consistency, dignity, and time.

These are not individual traits—they are system responsibilities.

What a System That Works Would Look Like

A functional addiction and mental health system would:

*Treat substance use and mental health together

*Embed trauma- and violence-informed approaches across services

*Provide long-term, relational care instead of time-limited interventions

*Integrate child welfare, health, housing, and community supports

*Centre lived experience as legitimate clinical knowledge

*Measure success by quality of life, not discharge dates

Canadian public health models increasingly recognize this approach—but recognition without implementation changes nothing (British Columbia Centre on Substance Use, 2023).

Call to Action: From Awareness to Accountability

If we are serious about addressing addiction and mental health in Canada, awareness is no longer enough.

We must move toward accountability, integration, and reform.

This means:

*Demanding integrated care for concurrent mental health and substance use disorders

*Advocating for trauma-informed, attachment-based practice across child welfare, healthcare, and justice systems

*Challenging policies that punish relapse, poverty, and survival behaviours

*Investing in early, family-centred interventions, not just crisis responses

*Elevating lived experience as evidence—not anecdote

For professionals:
Examine your systems, not just your clients.

For families:
Your loved one is not broken—if care hasn’t worked, it may be because it was never designed for their reality.

For decision-makers:
Fragmented systems produce fragmented outcomes. Healing requires coordination and courage.

And for those who are struggling:
Your relapse is not a moral failure. Your pain is real. Your life deserves care that does not disappear when things get hard.

We do not need more programs that manage symptoms.
We need systems that support healing.

BigmommaJ
#MentalHealth #AddictionRecovery #systems

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How to Support a Loved One Who Struggles With AddictionLoving Without Losing Yourself By BigmommaJ

Loving someone who struggles with addiction is one of the most painful and complex experiences a person can face. You watch someone you care about disappear in pieces—moments of clarity followed by chaos, hope followed by heartbreak. You want to help, but nothing you do ever feels like enough.

Addiction doesn’t just affect the individual—it impacts families, children, partners, and entire support systems. Research consistently shows that substance use disorders are associated with increased family stress, disrupted attachment, and intergenerational trauma, particularly when left untreated (Canadian Centre on Substance Use and Addiction [CCSA], 2023).

Supporting someone with addiction requires empathy, education, and—often most overlooked—care for yourself.

Understanding Addiction Through a Trauma Lens

Addiction is not a moral failure or a lack of willpower. It is a complex, chronic health condition influenced by neurobiology, trauma exposure, mental illness, and social determinants of health (CCSA, 2023; National Institute on Drug Abuse [NIDA], 2024).

*Many individuals use substances to:

*Regulate overwhelming emotions

*Cope with unresolved trauma or abuse

*Manage untreated anxiety, depression, or PTSD

*Numb feelings of abandonment, shame, or chronic stress

Trauma-informed research shows a strong correlation between adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) and later substance use, highlighting addiction as a survival response rather than a choice (Felitti et al., 1998; Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration [SAMHSA], 2014).

Lead With Compassion, Not Control

Shame is one of the strongest predictors of continued substance use and relapse. Compassion, on the other hand, fosters psychological safety—an essential foundation for recovery (Brown, 2012; SAMHSA, 2014).

Supportive communication includes:

*Using person-first language (e.g., “a person with a substance use disorder”)

*Expressing concern without blame

*Listening without fixing, minimizing, or threatening

*Acknowledging the person’s pain, not just their behavior

Statements such as:
“I’m worried about your safety.”
“I care about you and want to understand.”

Can reduce defensiveness and open space for change.

Set Boundaries Without Guilt

Boundaries are a critical component of healthy support. Evidence-based family approaches emphasize that enabling behaviors—such as covering up consequences or providing financial support for substance use—can unintentionally reinforce addiction patterns (Al-Anon Family Groups, 2023).

Healthy boundaries:

*Protect your emotional and physical safety

*Create clarity and consistency

*Reduce resentment and burnout

*Model accountability

Setting boundaries is not abandonment—it is a necessary act of self-preservation.

Encourage Help—But Release the Outcome

Recovery cannot be forced. Research shows that while social support increases treatment engagement, sustained recovery depends on internal readiness and access to appropriate care (NIDA, 2024).

You can:

Take Care of Yourself (This Is Not Selfish)

*Encourage professional treatment or trauma-informed therapy

*Offer to support attendance at appointments or groups

*Share resources without ultimatums

You cannot:

*Control another person’s recovery

*Heal their trauma for them

*Prevent relapse on their behalf

Letting go of control is often one of the hardest—and healthiest—steps for loved ones.

Family members of individuals with addiction often experience secondary trauma, anxiety, depression, and chronic stress (Orford et al., 2013). Caring for yourself is not optional—it is essential.

Consider:

*Individual or family therapy

*Support groups for loved ones (e.g., Al-Anon, Nar-Anon)

*Rebuilding routines that prioritize rest, boundaries, and identity

*When you care for yourself, you interrupt cycles of codependency and trauma.

A Personal Reflection

Through my work in child welfare and trauma-informed practice, I have seen how addiction fractures families—and how often children become silent witnesses to instability long before they understand it.

I’ve also lived the reality of addiction and recovery, witnessing firsthand how shame isolates, while compassion combined with accountability creates space for healing.
Healing does not begin with control.

It begins with safety, boundaries, and truth.

Final Thoughts: Love With Limits, Hope With Honesty

You are not cruel for setting boundaries.

You are not heartless for protecting yourself.

And you are not responsible for someone else’s recovery.

Supporting someone through addiction is not about saving them.

It’s about staying grounded in compassion—without losing yourself.

BigmommaJ
#AddictionRecovery #withoutLosingyourself #boundaries

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My recovery is teaching me how to…

I’ll be honest—recovery is really tough. Not only does it take a lot of work to maintain, but it has also shown me parts of myself that I once hid and felt embarrassed to address. Even now, years later, I still feel a bit of shame when symptoms resurface that I thought I had already overcome.

At the same time, this has become one of my biggest lessons. Recovery is teaching me how to be patient with myself and to accept who I am, no matter what I’m experiencing. Even when I isolate, feel weighed down by shame from past decisions, or notice my self-talk becoming cruel, I am still in active recovery. I’m not going backward—I’m allowed to struggle sometimes. I have the tools to find balance again.

That’s what recovery is all about.

What about you?

#CheckInWithMe #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Depression #Anxiety #MentalHealth #Recovery #EatingDisorder #EatingDisorderRecovery #Addiction #AddictionRecovery #SubstanceRelatedDisorders #PostTraumaticStressDisorder #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Selfharm

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