mediocrity

I've never tried to solve one before because I know that I can't. Today I actually tried for hours and, big surprise, I can't. Even with seemingly simple instructions and pictures.
I know it seems like a stupid thing to get upset over, but this is just how most things go for me, big or small. I don't try so many things because I know that I probably can't do it and lack the patience and/or intellect to learn how. Whenever I do try something I just prove myself right. I can honestly say I've never excelled at anything in my life. I know some people will say it's because I'm already going in to it with a defeatist attitude but I wasn't always this way. I didn't used to assume I was no good at anything but experience after experience has taught me that. It's so frustrating being average or below in everything you do. I can't help but question what is the point? What do I have to offer at all?
I guess the people who do have value need people like me to serve them their coffee though.

#Depression #failure #frustration #mediocrity

I am a student. I have recently realized that I have been emotionally abused by my parents all my life. The revelation came with its own overwhelming sense of helplessness and self-destructive thoughts. I am struggling with depression since the last 7 years. Things get too much to handle sometimes. The emotional burden I carry everyday is just too heavy. And the result of all this is that, I am way too mediocre at everything in life at present. I have no significant achievements under my belt. I do not like myself. I have faced way too many rejections at various stages of college life. And I cannot do anything to get out of this situation. No matter how hard I try, I seem to fail at everything. I don't know how long I would be able to continue existing with these overwhelming sensations of failure creeping into every aspect of my life.

#Depression #mediocrity

#selfhatred #helplessness

#EmotionalAbuse #CheckInWithMe