A major deregulation issue has been happening for the past almost month. Uncontrollable reactions to so many things is irrational to me and others have called me on it but I can't calm or control it. I refuse to reach out or I've kept others at arm's length to a point I have most likely lost a few people put of my life. Unfortunately I've also been self medicating more from destructive impulsiveness taking over my common sense, it's trying to fill the emptiness that's just grown too much and hurts too badly to be left alone anymore. Its also the thing that's made me feel anything somewhat positive or normal. Made me feel human of you will.
All this because of a reminder of an incredibly deep and painful betrayal by a few I trusted as well as an anniversary of a major loss. But I feel there's more to this, like a background thing driving it behind the scenes and I don't know why or what it is. Has anyone else felt or noticed this ever happening?
It feels like the end of this deregulated emotional tantrum issue is finally ending, not wanting to see the damages that happened or find out how many people I hurt bad.
I hope you all take care and of able to have a good day. #mentalhealthdecline #tired #exhausted #frustrated