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I said yes

The psychiatrist was nice on Monday.
She was lovely but I'm scared to meet with the team she refered me to.
This lady Esther I've met before but I really hope she can refer me to mind.
I've delayed replying to her message as I know I can't trust her as she reports everything back to the manager.
Me and the manager had a falling out.
I don't trust her. She's a bully.
All i want is some support to a class or supportive group. Just the thought of meeting again feels really difficult and scary right now.
On a positive note I've said yes to an invitation to plan a holiday. So I finally have something to look forwards too. This year April. #mental health # depression#Anxiety #CPTSD

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× " What Are Your Wishe's And Goal's For 2024 " × #GameTime #Thought 's

° " I Will Go 1st My Wish Is To Become Very Stable Is In Money Wise... And To Keep Spreading My #Kindness To Each And Every Human That I Meet In Life.. And I Won't Mention My Last One... Because I Get Negative Feed Back... But I Desevre To Be Happy One Day... So What Are Your Own Goal's.. Wishe's Or Thought's? " Sincerely, × Skaoi Kvitravn × #mental Health

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Suicide Loss Survivor

I don't know if anyone will ever read my blog or posts. I don't know if anyone will ever care about my story. I don't know if anyone will ever not see me as a criminal and rather see me as a person. But I share my story in hopes that it will one day help one individual.

I’ve been away for a while with dealing with my mom’s suicide, the constant accusation by other’s of killing my mom, and the biggest mental health struggle I have ever been through. I will probably be gone for a while as I battle my mental health and look for the strength to have my voice back and to look not to the past, but to the future, a future where I can not only share my experience with mental health, but also share my experience in dealing with the loss of a loved one from suicide. This struggle I am going through is tough. I constantly feel I could have said something or anything to prevent my mom’s suicide. I feel as though the world will always view me as trash, with the attacks I received when my mom died. More people were worried about sharing my miss fortunes, accusing me of trying to raise money for my criminal activities, and worst of all saying I killed my mom. No one knows the true story or even cares about my side of the story of how her husband didn’t want to get police involved for 48 hours despite an accurate description of her in a news article on Facebook, or the fact that I took financial responsibility for her funeral even though I get no life insurance money, or that while waiting for the cops to come to my house that night that her husband constant said it wasn’t her and that she was having an affair. My mom was an amazing woman, that would do anything for anyone, but more of that to come as I gain my voice back and go head to head with the trolls. But I don’t want to leave you hanging so one quick memory of recent about my mom that ties to so many more. My uncle recently decided he wanted to collect mustard, maple syrup, and honey. So on her days off and often times after work she would travel looking for mustard to send him. IF you told my mom you wanted to be a collector of something, you better be prepared because she was going to make sure you had the best collection. Thank you to those who supported me in the past and to all those in the future as I hope to grow my website into something that can both honor my mom and make a difference in someone’s life.

bipolartater.com/december-21-2023/%3Ctopic%20id= " originalText="https://bipolartater.com/december-21-2023/ "> #SuicideLoss #Depression #Bipolar #BipolarDisoder #mental #MentalHealth

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☆ " Welp! It's Offical I'm An "Outcast"... " ☆ #Thought 's

° " I Have Alway's Been A Loner.... And Thrived Perfectly... And Then I End Up Meeting Alot Of Diffrent Walk's Of Life.. Some With Alot Of Baggage And #mental Health Issue's.. That They Won't Disclose Upfront Until It's Month's Into Knowing... Some People And Being Kind And Respectful.. But Then Poof!!!... So Why Open Up And Tell Half Truth's And Then Lie's... No Wonder Thing's Are Scary In The Dating / Realtionship Section... Well Now I'm Back To Becoming Closed Off.. And Severely Protective Of My Emotion's And Feeling's... It Feel's Terrible When People Lead You On... For Reason's Unkown... My Heart Is Pure And Soul In Inactive... Do To Trauma.. My Emotion's Will Be In A Windfall Of Wave's Of Mistrust... Oh Well It's Way Better Off... Being An Outcast.. Then Trying To Meet Or Getting To Know Anyone... I'm Going To Spoil Myself..." ° Sincerely, ☆▪︎☆S.K. ☆▪︎☆ #Thought 's

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Self care

Yesterday I felt like I.put therapy first. Instead of MYSELF. Was I right to choose therapy? Was my thinking wrong?

I told myself its too late to cancel.
But that's not true is it. ?

Should I at least say nonto therapy once in a while and spend some money on self care?
I can get my butt to the therapy appointment. But a beauty appointment is daunting. Does this speak to anyone?

We spoke about self forgiveness.
Its like saying 'no' was a serious risk growing up.
Its time to be more open with my friends. I keep things inside too much.
#Depression #CPTSD #mental health #Anxiety

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Untreated mental illnesses

My partner of 15 years stopped taking all the meds for several #mental illnesses. It breaks my heart . How can I get through to her stating she's completely out of sorts

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Therapist :Are you angry with me? Me: No. I'm just angry with everyone. !!!( lie)

A bit of a lie. Yes I'm angry with you!!!!
I am just learning to acknowledge that it's anger I am feeling. I get a blank cloud in my mind. I persuade myself it's my ex father is the only one I'm angry with because admitting that all the money I'm investing in therapy isn't making the practical help I really hoped for visible.
Am I expecting too much too soon. There have been.lots of ups and downs with this roller coaster. Please say its OK to be this dissociated from my natural emotions.
#Therapy # CPTSD # anger#mental health

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What is it with this stigma around mental health for the younger generation...???

I was diagnosed at an early age with Bi-polar Disorder, and more recently with Schizoeffective, and Borderline Personality Disorder. I name all these personal issues without fear of judgement, and to say I have some basic knowledge on this subject as I have dealt with my Disorders since an early age. The thing I have become most proud of is my ability to deal with and be responsible for my own mental health. I believe there was a small amount of time that I did not want to help myself, and I seriously thought about suicide. First I wanted to quit my medication and therapy, but then I felt better. Once I started to feel better and see results, I was a little happier, and decided that I wanted to be responsible. I have a large support group that I can call on when needed, but I also### have myself. I have my own back. I can pick up the phone and call someone, I can change my mood, I can sometimes calm myself. I know when to call for reinforcements. If so called friends see you as weak for getting help, then they weren't your friends to begin with. This younger generation wants to blame people and treat people unfairly because of a condition they were most likely born with. I hate to burst your bubble, but most people who are mentally ill, are born mentally ill. I think certain circumstances tend to make metal illness worse but usually there is a genetic component to begin with, especially when children have mental illness so young. It's like blaming someone for any disability they are born with. I want the younger generation to know things get better. My life gets better everyday. It didn't turn out to be the doom and gloom existence I thought it would be. There was bad in my life, don't get me wrong, but there was also a lot of good. Teenagers have a tendency to blow things slightly out of proportion and also to heavily compare themselves to others due to the influence of social media. Social Media wasn't as big a thing when I was younger, but I have seen some devastating results. Please work towards being more responsible for your mental health. You will thank yourself later. The smallest amount of personal responsibility will make a huge difference. The first step is to ERASE the horrible stigma which comes with saying yes to needing help. I hate to say this but the times we are living in are very different from the times our parents and grandparents lived in. There is no shame in saying you need help. No one is ever alone, there will always be helpers. Seek the helpers as they will be there when needed. Please don't put everything on your shoulders. Share the load. #mental

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