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Community Voices

#anxious . Trial for the man who sexually abused me in two weeks

I’m so anxious about the upcoming trial. How do you prepare for this! Will I be believable.? Will my husband support me through this ordeal? How will I deal with a not guilty verdict or a guilty verdict? All these thoughts and many more keep me awake at night and fill me with dread. I’m diagnosed with bipolar 1 and BPD. The stress of this trial is not helping my mental health symptoms. I’m manic, and anxious! #mental Health #anxious #Doubts

5 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Loneliness and alone.. not the same

I found the post of lonliness depression vs aloneness struck home with me today.. I am well aware of the difference; I can be comfortable alone, but I find myself when I really look into myself I'm lonely now and am filling that lonely feeling with whatever can plug a hole in the dam of my depressive bipolar until another hole or crack happens and I'm reaching for something else. I don't live alone but despite having a sibling older than me and I'm a 52yr old adult so not like I'm a youngster anymore trying to figure out why I feel so bad, or trying to make friends or relationships or connections last.. I'm lonely and tired of always being the person to try and keep friendships or connections going.. I think I find somebody to only realize when I'm no longer useful or able to fake being ok and "happiness is a choice.. just choose to be happy" everyone falls away again.. so I retreat further into myself, and the dark. I get that every day is a new day to claw my way up out, but I don't have the energy anymore. I've been told I'm at the basic end of medications and combinations to try, counseling is always journal, boundaries, tell people what you need. But how do you tell someone who is not there what you need, or worse when you don't even know yourself anymore what you need. Escapism into books, movies, social media only lasts so long, and friends only stick around for so long when they can't fix me or use me to fix the crisis in their world. I'm tired.. I'm isolated, and the small things that shouldn't bother me are now one more pebble that keeps tipping my thoughts to why do I keep fighting to be here. I wish there was a reset, but I can't find it and being around other people has gotten me to the point that I feel like an outsider looking in not really welcome anymore, or I begin to pick up little comments from them that they're looking for a way to extricate themselves from my bleak existence even if I'm faking being ok that day.. I have days where being alone is ok because I know I'm too sensitive, or I compartmentalize where and who I allow to show what part of me, what aspect of personality is acceptable for that person but I can't always control that either. Just another day..

#mental illness
#Bipolar depression
#Dissociative disorder

4 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Anxiety is making me feel so LOST, so now I'm ranting about it!

I'm fairly new to this website, but I figured if anyone could help or relate to me, it would be this page! I'm a mom of three, who has probably suffered with mental illness my whole life (just unaware of it, but I've learned so much, and continue to learn as well) and my children are my life, and even though I've made mistakes in the past I've learned that I'm not the same person I once was, because I lacked the knowledge that I now have. My problem now is, that I just feel lost! I'm sure it's the anxiety that keeps me feeling unsure, and having no clue what to do with my life! The more I try to figure it all out, the more I just feel confused and stuck! More than anything in the world, I just want to have a career (that gives me purpose) that not only financially supports us, but makes my kids proud of me! I let them down so many times by not being able to stick with a job, and I just want to feel normal, confident, ambitious, and clear minded. Lord please just tell me the steps I need to take to be able to do all of this, I've pleaded so many times, and maybe one day I'll get my answer lol! The ironic part is that I'm always so good at helping others, but can't seem to ever be able to mentally do it for myself! #Healing #anxietysucks
#mental illness #venting #mother #lost #Anxiety #Bedtime #alone #Thoughts #rant #

2 people are talking about this
Community Voices

When childhood abuse leaves you mentally ill, & society throws you away.

The more I work with the mentally ill - abused when children #Bipolar , #BPD , #Depression , and more, as a #councillor and one who has these illnesses too, due to obscene #Childhood trauma, of which I’m on the mend thank goodness.
I’m no longer surprised at the horrifying abuse my clients have been subjected to when they were children, leaving them with mental illnesses, Rather, I’m sickened, with a deep sense of fury , lost on how utterly cruel, and evil their parents or family members who perpetrated the abuse are.
The abuse I suffered for years as a small child, leaving me with borderpolar, which I’ve spent years recovering from, I’m no longer angry about, it doesn’t affect me anymore, but I do still have borderpolar
My years of studying, & working on myself, helped me. I learned that healing comes when we let go, and move forward, and this helps my clients.
My point is a serious concern, about HOW is its possible, to prioritise things like #black LIVES MATTER, or #fighting CANCER, or #the WAR ON DRUGS etc, which DO matter, and ARE important subjects, needing attention, , but where’s the headlines, the hype, #help , #Care or #concern for children ( now adults) - who've been #brutally abused? And the circumstances have left them #mentally ILL as a result? And who are mostly #Homeless , #addicts to numb the pain. Who society has thrown away?

It’s not OKAY! The priorities surrounding #mental ILLNESS, don’t exist. Rather, they’re #PUNISHED AGAIN, #vilified , #abused and more,

It’s overdue, long overdue, to make headlines, hold fundraising events, highlight and educate people on #mental ILLNESS, and DO SOMETHING real to help, , to do your part in the desperately needed love and care, who’ve #suffered HORRENDOUSLY, leaving them sick and thrown away.

6 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Really Need Advice

I really need honest thoughts from anyone that could please help me understand my daughter. What took place is her graduation was June 10th, but I missed it because I was in the hospital. Unfortunately I am disabled and I have issues where my digestion just stops. It is the most painful thing I have ever experienced in my life. I am currently following up to see if surgery might be something that could help. Anyways my daughter yelled at me for days saying I was lying and not being honest. She yelled at me asking why did I not call her sooner. When I was put on the ambulance bed I accidentally dropped my cell so I didn’t have her number and I was on morphine for the pain so I just didn’t think about it. Im usually good about calling but I didn’t have her number or anyone else’s number, Im just use to having my cell.

So a month goes by and I kept trying to get ahold of her to work things out. I ended up finding out that my daughter actually blocked me on her cell. I was so crushed to find this out and its all because I didn’t make it to her graduation. When I last talked to her she was just yelling and said she was going to hang up and go take a shower because that was one thing she could control in her life. Yesterday I texted her stepmom just letting her know about my daughter blocking me. She said, oh your daughter said you blocked her. I told her never would I ever do such a thing. I just got a text from my daughter saying I need to properly apologize then she will talk to me. What did I do I have no idea, and I did already apologize to her letting her know that I would have much rather been with her on her big day. I do see red flags going off in my mind but wanted to see if anyone might have some advise.

thank you!

#Daughter #mental health #verbal abuse #paranting #Disability

2 people are talking about this
Community Voices

This my first post. Just seeking thoughts and advice on a situation at work. Okay..... So I am recovering alcoholic, I have depression, and also get suicidal thoughts. My place of work is a warehouse, 10hr days and working alone and lots of alone time to be in my head. Due to my situation I have a doc accomodation to listen to music, earbuds. My place of work honors it but,,,, there are associates who are trying to ban this. They think it's not fair and it should be equal. Is it all the same or do some of us fall in a different category because are depression? #mental health at WorK#

2 people are talking about this
Community Voices

I have a question. What do you do with your thoughts and feelings of self hatred? Besides medication I mean. How do you get past them? I need to know because I feel like I’m killing my self from the inside out. Physically and mentally I’m suffering.
Thanks for any comments.
#mental Health
#self Hatred

4 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Lonely World.

<p><a href="" class="tm-embed-link  tm-autolink health-map" data-id="5b576bd95851f800ae359ae6" data-name="Lonely" title="Lonely" target="_blank">Lonely</a> World.</p>
10 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Incompetence of Mental health support - watching yourself going mad

#mental health #medical incompetence #Depression

There comes a point when a person is so prepared for the incompetence of the staff they are working with, they feel like the lead practitioner in the room. I want to write an article for Mighty on my experiences of four years of fighting for some form of formal diagnosis and what I have learnt since. Today was abominable.

Community Voices

#mental health

Been feeling more upbeat