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    Moving on from a self sabotaged relationship

    Has anyone ever had a great connection with a genuine person but let their own insecurities and trauma get the best of you, and now they’re gone and you can’t reach out? How can you move on?
    #checkin #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder
    #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Depression #SeparationAnxiety #selfsabotage #OnlineDating #Relationships
    #tired #CPTSD #self -sabotage #Dating #Love #stuck

    9 reactions 2 comments


    It’s been a while since I’ve been on here, life still sucks really bad and I have no clue what to do. I feel alone, like really alone, there’s no one I can talk to with absolute confidentiality and no one I can trust enough. I miss my ex and I miss being happy. It’s been so long since I’ve felt genuinely happy I forgot what it feels like. I’m constantly depressed and anxious about anything and everything. I just wanna feel okay. I’m so so tired and fed up and I’m afraid I may do something reckless. I feel so scared and lonely. #Depression #Anxiety #tired

    18 reactions 4 comments
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    I am struggling to sleep but still feel ok so far as I am focusing on the positive things in my life! #tired #Fibromyalgia #Cats #grateful #innerstrength

    3 reactions


    My geneticist said I needed to see a PMR specialist due to EDS/HSD I told my rheumatologist that because the geneticist said he had to file it and then he and his nurse sent a referral to a psychiatrist (already have one of those) instead of the PMR specialist. #tired #FrustrationAfterDiagnosis


    Back to work again + #MedicalLeave ?

    I've been sick for the past ten days (sinus infection) and took all of last week off work. Now I have to go back tomorrow and my anxiety is quite high. My whole body is aching and sore and I have a headache. It's like my body is saying, "Noooooo!"
    I know that everything will be significantly behind and piled up because even before I got sick, my boss was away so I was covering both our positions. I feel so stressed just thinking about it.
    I had my first session with my new career counselor today. She very quickly recognized significant symptoms of burn out and her recommendation is to get a doctor's note for a medical leave of at least a month in length. I have already been thinking about quitting my job, so this throws another option into the mix.
    Since the beginning of the year, I took one week off for vacation and now two weeks off (the other was in January) for illness. That means I have worked for 5 weeks out of 8 weeks in 2023. And I'm so exhausted! I need to make a plan for leaving this job as soon as possible.

    #Anxiety #Depression #Burnout #MentalHealth #Job #Work #Career #Counseling #MedicalLeave #Quit #tired

    4 reactions

    If there’s no finish line, then what’s the point

    I’m 24 and have been sick all my life. From a traumatic birth, getting diagnosed with asthma at one day old, getting a lung infection at a few months old and constantly having a cold, or flu, or headaches that take days to go away, or migraines that take weeks to go away, or muscle pain, or skeletal pain, or inflammation, or some weird new pain or ailment.

    I’m starting to have a real hare for healthy people. Not only do they have absolutely no idea how lucky they are, they don’t seem to understand that not everyone has that. They don’t seem to understand that I’m not doing it for attention, I’m not lazy, I’m not “obsessed with being sick”, I’m not incapable and I’m not someone that wants to be sick. Why the hell would I want to do this to myself?

    And why, for the Love of everything good in this world, am I expected to just function like everybody else. I’m expected to perform at work like everyone else, to be able to do everything from sleeping 8 hours (lol) to cooking, cleaning, working, eating, working out, do stuff on weekends.

    I just want to sleep, and cry in peace. No one understands the absolute mental toll their expectations or comments puts on me. You don’t think I feel guilty? You don’t think I think those things about myself?

    Explain to me how being worried that a flare up can happen at any point for any reason, that a new symptom will just appear and force itself to become my new normal, that I’ll lose my job, that my friends are irritated with me, that my partner is getting sick of me being sick, how would I want this?! Why the hell would I want this? Why would I want to spend thousands on medical bills, or have a doctors appointment on my diary at any give n point, or have a search history that would put a medical journal to shame, or have multiple spreadsheets tracking absolutely everything I do because you never know when a new illness will pop up.

    I’m exhausted. I’m so so exhausted. Mentally, physically and emotionally. I cry daily, I’m in pain every single day. And the worst part is I DONT KNOW WHATS WRONG WITH ME BECAUSE NO ONE WILL HELP ME. My body is literally trying to kill me and I can’t stop it. How am I expected to function like everyone else when at this point I’m barely a person or a human being?

    I feel like an empty, pointless bag of scrap molecules that’s being tortured for entertainment.

    I don’t know how long I can continue like this. I’m contemplating ending everything 3 times a week at the very least. I’m screwing up my liver with medication. For what? What’s the point? To stay alive so I can continue to do this every day? Hope that one day I’ll have a day where I’m just a normal girl with a normal life? That day hasn’t come for 24 years, why the hell would it come at all.

    I’m just. I can’t anymore. I’ve reached capacity. #tired #ChronicPain #nausea
    #Migraine #done

    9 reactions 10 comments

    I got one tooth pulled today. I think i did ok. I was pretty calm. I did cry a little on the drive to Torontro to the dentist. I guess it also brings back when i was in the big city with my mom in the past. Anyways i have to go back 3 more times. It wasn't so bad. I did not feel a thing. I just heard the cracking. But i think doing it this why instead of being put under and having all done at once is harder on me and just a huge blow. I go back again in 2 weeks. I'm just tired and have a little headach. I have ate a little. I had some yummy. LEast the dislabity is paying for this.

    Just a long drive there and back. Amyways the stress ball helped me. Thinking postive thoughts/ The dentist made sure my tooth was frozen so i won't feel it. Which is good. Cuz last time i did feel the last one being pulled. OUCHY.

    #TheMighty #MightyTogether #Depression #Anxiety #Dentist #tired #MentalHealth

    7 reactions

    Exhaustion! All the time!

    I’m not sure why I’m always exhausted. I did get my thyroid and iron checked and they’re fine, so I’m guessing it’s because my mind is constantly trying to regulate emotions and deal with negative thoughts. I can get 7-8 hours of sleep, drink coffee, eat, take my vyvanse… and about an hour later I “shut down”— I feel very tired again and my mood plummets, I lose motivation to do anything. Usually I go back to sleep for another hour or so, and the cycle repeats itself. I can only take about 1 nap per day, so a lot of the day, I’m struggling to keep my energy up. This has been an issue since I was about 14 (and I’m 24 now). It’s part of the reason that I was an addict at a point, because I wanted something to keep me up and running. The exhaustion is something I deal with daily, and I’m wondering if anybody else deals with this too? #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar2Disorder #ADHD #tired

    13 reactions 9 comments


    Woke Up feeling completely depressed I can seee how this day is going to go already ….definitely alone. And I wish people would quit messaging me telling me to go and Kms . . I wish I could talk to someone tell them what I can & feel 😭😩💔🖤 ): but I really don’t try to bother people by messaging them I don’t want to sit and anooy people.

    Also Because I would post about my depression on a different app and I was struggling and I guess people got anooyed of listening to me struggling so I get told I am not needed and to kms! #Suicide #Selfharm #Loneliness #sad #Chat #BipolarDisorder #ughh #numb #tired 💔😫

    58 reactions 17 comments
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    Dear society, I have 6 non-romantic system partners and it’s not made up | TW erasure #venting

    Dear society,

    Please stop making all of your information on
    "love" advice for romantic couples or just
    throuples. Please stop assuming that only couples exist. And please stop assuming that
    everyone has or wants a partner or feels
    romantic/sexual attraction to someone. It's very
    annoying! I'm queerplatonic with all of my 6, yes 6, partners. Not romantic, but more than platonic. It’s real.

    Please stop assuming that our
    partners are either a boy or a girl. I have one wife, two non-binary spouses, and
    three non-married non-binary partners.

    Don't tell me to choose one. Don't ask me who I
    like more because I like all of them equally and
    that's that. Don't tell me my partners are "made
    up" because we're in a system.

    Oh, and one last thing. Please stop making Valentine’s Day look like it’s solely a romantic holiday. Because that’s very annoying also. The most important thing is loving yourself above anything else. Not everyone experiences love to others.

    A non-binary man who is tired of this
    amatonormativity and monogamy-centered
    society /neg /vsrs

    #feelingerased #LGBTQIA #polyamorous #polyaffectionate #erasure #DearSociety #ThislsMe #tired #system #ValentinesDay #Important #Anxiety #erasure #queerplatonic

    5 reactions 4 comments