tired

Has anyone ever had a great connection with a genuine person but let their own insecurities and trauma get the best of you, and now they’re gone and you can’t reach out? How can you move on?
#checkin #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder
#ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Depression #SeparationAnxiety #selfsabotage #OnlineDating #Relationships
#tired #CPTSD #self -sabotage #Dating #Love #stuck

It’s been a while since I’ve been on here, life still sucks really bad and I have no clue what to do. I feel alone, like really alone, there’s no one I can talk to with absolute confidentiality and no one I can trust enough. I miss my ex and I miss being happy. It’s been so long since I’ve felt genuinely happy I forgot what it feels like. I’m constantly depressed and anxious about anything and everything. I just wanna feel okay. I’m so so tired and fed up and I’m afraid I may do something reckless. I feel so scared and lonely. #Depression #Anxiety #tired

My geneticist said I needed to see a PMR specialist due to EDS/HSD I told my rheumatologist that because the geneticist said he had to file it and then he and his nurse sent a referral to a psychiatrist (already have one of those) instead of the PMR specialist. #tired #FrustrationAfterDiagnosis

I've been sick for the past ten days (sinus infection) and took all of last week off work. Now I have to go back tomorrow and my anxiety is quite high. My whole body is aching and sore and I have a headache. It's like my body is saying, "Noooooo!"
I know that everything will be significantly behind and piled up because even before I got sick, my boss was away so I was covering both our positions. I feel so stressed just thinking about it.
I had my first session with my new career counselor today. She very quickly recognized significant symptoms of burn out and her recommendation is to get a doctor's note for a medical leave of at least a month in length. I have already been thinking about quitting my job, so this throws another option into the mix.
Since the beginning of the year, I took one week off for vacation and now two weeks off (the other was in January) for illness. That means I have worked for 5 weeks out of 8 weeks in 2023. And I'm so exhausted! I need to make a plan for leaving this job as soon as possible.

#Anxiety #Depression #Burnout #MentalHealth #Job #Work #Career #Counseling #MedicalLeave #Quit #tired

I’m 24 and have been sick all my life. From a traumatic birth, getting diagnosed with asthma at one day old, getting a lung infection at a few months old and constantly having a cold, or flu, or headaches that take days to go away, or migraines that take weeks to go away, or muscle pain, or skeletal pain, or inflammation, or some weird new pain or ailment.

I’m starting to have a real hare for healthy people. Not only do they have absolutely no idea how lucky they are, they don’t seem to understand that not everyone has that. They don’t seem to understand that I’m not doing it for attention, I’m not lazy, I’m not “obsessed with being sick”, I’m not incapable and I’m not someone that wants to be sick. Why the hell would I want to do this to myself?

And why, for the Love of everything good in this world, am I expected to just function like everybody else. I’m expected to perform at work like everyone else, to be able to do everything from sleeping 8 hours (lol) to cooking, cleaning, working, eating, working out, do stuff on weekends.

I just want to sleep, and cry in peace. No one understands the absolute mental toll their expectations or comments puts on me. You don’t think I feel guilty? You don’t think I think those things about myself?

Explain to me how being worried that a flare up can happen at any point for any reason, that a new symptom will just appear and force itself to become my new normal, that I’ll lose my job, that my friends are irritated with me, that my partner is getting sick of me being sick, how would I want this?! Why the hell would I want this? Why would I want to spend thousands on medical bills, or have a doctors appointment on my diary at any give n point, or have a search history that would put a medical journal to shame, or have multiple spreadsheets tracking absolutely everything I do because you never know when a new illness will pop up.

I’m exhausted. I’m so so exhausted. Mentally, physically and emotionally. I cry daily, I’m in pain every single day. And the worst part is I DONT KNOW WHATS WRONG WITH ME BECAUSE NO ONE WILL HELP ME. My body is literally trying to kill me and I can’t stop it. How am I expected to function like everyone else when at this point I’m barely a person or a human being?

I feel like an empty, pointless bag of scrap molecules that’s being tortured for entertainment.

I don’t know how long I can continue like this. I’m contemplating ending everything 3 times a week at the very least. I’m screwing up my liver with medication. For what? What’s the point? To stay alive so I can continue to do this every day? Hope that one day I’ll have a day where I’m just a normal girl with a normal life? That day hasn’t come for 24 years, why the hell would it come at all.

I’m just. I can’t anymore. I’ve reached capacity. #tired #ChronicPain #nausea
#Migraine #done

I’m not sure why I’m always exhausted. I did get my thyroid and iron checked and they’re fine, so I’m guessing it’s because my mind is constantly trying to regulate emotions and deal with negative thoughts. I can get 7-8 hours of sleep, drink coffee, eat, take my vyvanse… and about an hour later I “shut down”— I feel very tired again and my mood plummets, I lose motivation to do anything. Usually I go back to sleep for another hour or so, and the cycle repeats itself. I can only take about 1 nap per day, so a lot of the day, I’m struggling to keep my energy up. This has been an issue since I was about 14 (and I’m 24 now). It’s part of the reason that I was an addict at a point, because I wanted something to keep me up and running. The exhaustion is something I deal with daily, and I’m wondering if anybody else deals with this too? #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar2Disorder #ADHD #tired

Woke Up feeling completely depressed I can seee how this day is going to go already ….definitely alone. And I wish people would quit messaging me telling me to go and Kms . . I wish I could talk to someone tell them what I can & feel 😭😩💔🖤 ): but I really don’t try to bother people by messaging them I don’t want to sit and anooy people.

Also Because I would post about my depression on a different app and I was struggling and I guess people got anooyed of listening to me struggling so I get told I am not needed and to kms! #Suicide #Selfharm #Loneliness #sad #Chat #BipolarDisorder #ughh #numb #tired 💔😫