#TraumaSurvivors
Today, as my boyfriend berated me about having a previous boyfriend (I'm 43).... I finally recognized what I do ... I am attracted to men that are unavailable, angry, and make me feel worthless
Where is that line? The one written in the sand between: I need to be strong enough to do this on my own, and it’s ok to except a helping hand?
I want to fight this battle on my own! I want to take charge and say to my demons “You have no control over me”.
It’s exhausting and has many setbacks. Yet, I’m doing this my way, on my terms, in my own time...
The weight is almost unbearable... The burden of fighting alone gets tougher and tougher with each milestone or landmark breakthrough. I’ve taught myself to push through the pain and loneliness of waging such a war alone. Still, I choose to fight alone.
I choose to fight alone for fear of letting people in. For fear that they will figure out the real me. Expose me for who I am. Judge me, call me crazy, label me with their own misdiagnosis.
I know I am wrong...
It’s not weak to let someone help you. It takes strength to open up. There are people who will listen. Whom will help when I call. People who will hug me when I need a hug or help lead me back to reality when I spiral.
Then the doubt settles in again and again I struggle to see that line drawn in the sand that I put there myself.
I’m struggling to navigate this world alone.
I have convinced myself that there must be this line. Where is this line? #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #Depression #MentalHealth #CheckInWithMe #MightyTogether #MightySurvivor
I was raped 40 years ago. It was a very traumatizing experience as I know it is for everyone. I wasn’t able to seek counseling for this until this year, at the age of 64. I want everyone to know it’s never too late. To tell someone, to report it, to seek counseling. Please tell someone and let your healing begin. God bless you.
Latest
