I'm new here!
Hi, my name is PEEPplezer1313. I'm here because the more I learn about my BPD the better I feel about managing it. I only found out about this disorder 2yrs ago when a toxic relationship with a narcissist favorite person had me so confused hurt desperate to understand his behavior and his silent treatment hot cold etc...I ended up also learning about myself that my thinking and actions fell in line with BPD .I have been misdiagnosed most my life as bipolar depression but that was only one small piece of the puzzle that makes up my mental health ....Its not a magic potion but it feels less hopeless now that I can identify it I can research and try things to feel more in control of my emotions ....I been too emotional my life .Some people can hide their sadness their joy etc but not me everyone says I wear heart on sleeve, I over give over do get too attached fall too hard n fast and one extreme to the other . I always knew I felt things deeper and more so then most people. I cant handle witnessing a child or animal being hurt mistreated cux I feel their pain as if its happening ti me prompting me to cry or yell fight off their attacker save them .....the memory of what I saw happen will continue to replay in my head ....im hyper vigilant like I feel responsible fir making sure everyone else is OK safe warm fed happy.....I do so much for people I love and I never get that treatment back from s guy I attract bad mean guys with no feelings or heart thst lie trick and manipulate. Im empath s Pisces and anxious attachment style I attract narcissist and avoidant attachment styles or emotionally unavailable men .....the opposite of what I need ..I realize now thst im drawn to dysfunctional men because it feels like home...my dad my brothers my family , we fall fir familiarity and the only things familiar to me from my childhood and up are not very good things .....But how do we train ourselves to become comfortable around the type of person we know we deserve and need ? I freak out when a guy compliments me because im not used to hearing it, dont believe it and feels suspicious like a trick being played on me.....on the other hand If the compliment is genuine it feels good and id like to welcome more positive talk from a man if I wasn't so socially awkward and shy quiet.
#MightyTogether #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Depression #BipolarDisorder #Anxiety #Fibromyalgia #Migraine #PTSD #ADHD #OCD
