We Are #MightyTogether

Most people know fight, flight, and freeze. Almost nobody talks about fawn, and it might be the most misunderstood one of all.#Trauma #PTSD #ChronicPain #fawn #Anxiety #MentalHealth #Healing #MightyTogether Fawn is when your survival strategy becomes disappearing into whoever you're with. Less noise. Fewer needs expressed. More agreement. More performance of contentment. Not because you wanted to, but because compliance had the best historical record of reducing harm.That's not weakness. That's a sophisticated survival strategy built by someone with no other tools available. But here's what fawn does that the others don't. Fight leaves your sense of self intact, you resisted. Flight leaves it intact, you moved. Even freeze leaves it intact, something in you went elsewhere while your body waited it out. Fawn dismantles the self in the process of deploying it, because when your survival strategy is becoming what the threat needs, you spend years being not yourself.

And it doesn't stay in childhood. It comes with you. Into relationships, workplaces, friendships, every room where someone has the power to hurt you or withdraw approval. Someone raises their voice and you're already smiling before you've thought anything. Someone expresses displeasure and you're already apologising before you've asked whether it was even your responsibility.

If you've ever wondered why you can't tell where the performance ends and you begin, this might be why.

#Trauma #PTSD #MentalHealth #Healing #MightyTogether

I finally got my official June ER lab records today, and seeing the raw machine data on the screen completely rewrote my understanding of my own body.
For months, I thought my acute collapse this past summer was bad. But the actual numbers show a level of systemic failure that leaves me stunned I was even awake. My Thyroid Stimulating Hormone (TSH) didn’t just spike—it reached an astronomical 478 uIU/mL (with a normal range being 0.4 to 4.0). My Free T4 was critically low at 0.11 ng/dL, meaning my bloodstream was carrying virtually zero circulating thyroid hormone.
To have your metabolic engine completely bottom out like that is terrifying. It means my cells were operating in a state of severe hibernation. It completely validates every single scary physical breakdown I’ve endured since then.
Without thyroid hormone, my peripheral nerves lost their signaling power, causing debilitating left-arm numbness that mimicked a stroke. My gastrointestinal smooth muscles were literally paralyzed, causing profound slow-transit constipation that alternated with sudden, high-volume overflow leaks. My autonomic nervous system completely lost control of my bladder and bowel sphincter lines.
Because adult incontinence carries such intense societal shame, it’s a relief to have the hard machine data prove it wasn't a personal failure or a lack of willpower—it was a literal, mechanical consequence of a near-coma level endocrine emergency.
My primary care clinic appointment today was a mixed bag. The doctor was busy, distracted, and nonchalantly asked if my symptoms were "all in my head" before slapping a generic "depression" label on my chart and dipping out. She had no idea my system was surviving on zero hormone just three months ago because the hospital records never forwarded.
But I pushed back, I spoke up, and I held my ground. My current TSH is down near 4.5. We are adjusting my Levothyroxine, adding a twice-daily active T3 medication (Liothyronine) to jumpstart my cells, and trying a non-stimulant ADHD med (Qelbree) to help anchor my severe brain fog and executive dysfunction.
The best news is I successfully unlocked an affordable $10-per-visit care pipeline to Nashville General Hospital, bypassing the clinic gatekeepers to get direct access to the experts who can actually help me build my state adult disability case: an Endocrinologist, a Psychologist, a Neurologist, and a Physical Therapist.
This recovery process is going to move at a much slower, more glacial pace than I originally anticipated. My chronic fatigue, joint pain, migraines, and interoception gaps still decimate my daily spoons, and my independent living landscape is incredibly high-friction. But today, I hold the absolute laboratory truth of my condition in my hands. My symptoms are real, my history is verified, and I am moving forward one mechanical step at a time.
#IdiopathicHypersomnia #HashimotosThyroiditis #NeurogenicBladder #adultautism #ADHD #AutismSpectrumDisorder #ChronicFatigue #Incontinence #selfadvocacy #ChronicPain
#MightyTogether #Nashville #Migraine