We Are #MightyTogether

When you spend most of your life feeling unseen, it’s hard not to let it affect you mentally. It affects your self-esteem, your confidence, and how you perceive yourself. And for me, I’ve always struggled with being comfortable in my own skin.

Recently, I was hanging out with a close group of friends. Most of the time when I’m with them, I can be myself without feeling too in my head. But this time around, I was so trapped inside my head. I kept thinking that literally everything that came out of my mouth was annoying. The sound of my voice. The “foolish” responses. And the underlying fear that I was being either too much or too quiet.

Lately, I’ve just been doubting my every move. I feel so insecure and have just been in an overthinking loop of negativity. I haven’t been treating myself very kindly, and I keep thinking that I’m just a nuisance. That I’m just a waste of space. That I’m boring, dull, and just…there.

It’s been really hard to like the person that I am right now. In fact, I’ve always had a difficult relationship with myself. Sometimes, I genuinely appreciate the person that I am. I’m stronger than I thought possible. But other times, I look at myself with a level of disgust I hate admitting.

I think part of the reason I struggle so much with liking myself is because I’ve spent so much of my life feeling overlooked. When you don’t feel seen, it’s easy to start wondering if there’s a reason for it. You start questioning your worth. You start wondering if maybe you’re not interesting enough, important enough, or good enough to be noticed. Over time, those thoughts stop feeling like insecurities and start feeling like facts.

What makes all of this so frustrating is that if a friend spoke about themselves the way I speak about myself, my heart would break for them.

The thing is, I offer great advice, but I never take it for myself. I always remind people of all the good things I see in them. I tell them that their feelings are valid and that they matter. I’m there for them in every sense of the word.

Yet somehow, it’s always easier to extend that kindness to other people than it is to myself.

Maybe that’s why I’ve been thinking so much about the idea of becoming someone I actually enjoy being.

I don’t think I need to become a completely different person. I’m just tired of feeling like I’m constantly at war with myself. I’m tired of viewing myself critically. Tired of assuming that everyone else sees me as negatively as I see myself.

I think that’s where this starts.

Not with confidence. Not with self-love. And not with suddenly waking up one day and feeling comfortable being me. But with questioning whether the voice in my head is telling me the truth.

Because if I’m being honest, I’ve spent years assuming that the way I see myself is the truth. That every insecurity is a fact. That every criticism is accurate. And that every fear I have about myself must somehow be justified.

But what if it isn’t?

What if I’ve just spent so long listening to my inner critic that I stopped questioning it?

Because maybe I’m not a nuisance. Maybe I’m not boring. Maybe I’m not too much. And maybe I’ve just spent so long looking for reasons to dislike myself that I’ve stopped looking for reasons to appreciate who I am.

Because when I step outside of my own head, I know that isn’t the whole story.

I know I’m someone who cares deeply. Someone who shows up. Someone who feels things deeply because I’m deeply connected to the people around me. I know those things exist too.

I just forget them sometimes.

And I know I haven’t become someone I actually enjoy being yet. But I think the first step is learning how to stop assuming the worst about myself.

It’s going to be a long process on my healing journey because there’s a lot to unlearn. I need to unlearn years of thinking there was something wrong with me.

That’s why this feels so difficult.

You can’t spend a lifetime believing you’re not enough and expect to undo it overnight.

But I’m trying.

And maybe becoming someone I enjoy being doesn’t start with loving myself.

Maybe it starts with finally believing there was never anything wrong with me in the first place.

And maybe that’s where becoming someone I actually enjoy being begins.

What is one negative belief about yourself you’re trying to unlearn?

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”— Buddha

#MentalHealth #Neurodiversity #Loneliness #Depression #MightyTogether