There have been so many circumstances in my life where I didn’t take action, but I wish I had. For me, I’ve been a pushover for most of my life. I let people take advantage of my kindness, my generosity, and my care. I don’t know what it is about me that made me this way, but it’s always affected me and my self-esteem
I’ve been the supportive one, the shoulder for people to cry on, and the one who offers good advice but never takes it myself. I’ve been there for others through thick and thin, regardless of whether or not I’ve been taken advantage of.
I remember one time when a friend of mine had me drive all over town to pick up some items. I initially didn’t feel like going and doing that, but I never want to let a friend down, so I did it. It turns out I ended up driving a very long distance just to satisfy his needs.
When we got to one destination, we were there for hours. I was led to believe it would only take a few minutes. So there I was, stuck. I couldn’t just leave him.
And the thing that shocked me was that I didn’t get one thank you for it.
In that moment, I wish that I would’ve stuck up for myself. I wish I would’ve expressed my feelings of being used for their own gain. But no, I stayed quiet, sucked it up, and never said a word about it.
Today, I wouldn’t let that fly. After so many years of playing second fiddle to everything, I now stand my ground and use my voice. I’m no longer fearful of doing that. It’s a change within myself that I never thought would come to fruition. I think I finally reached a breaking point and just refused to be stepped all over. It’s not who I am anymore, and I’m proud of that.
So, I would’ve handled that situation differently. I would’ve told my friend that I didn’t appreciate being misled on that little venture. What I thought was going to be quick ended up taking forever—the whole day, in fact. I would’ve told him that I wanted to leave the moment I found out it would take longer, because I sat there miserably, just waiting and waiting.
And most of all, I would’ve demanded a thank you. A thank you for driving all over town, for waiting for him to finish whatever errand he had me on, and for being used because I was the only one at the time with a car.
I’ve learned so much about myself recently, and I’ve noticed how much bolder I am. How much stronger I am than I ever thought possible. I couldn’t be prouder of myself for using my voice when I feel taken advantage of.
Sure, I’ve lost friendships in the process of standing up for myself, but I’ve realized it’s okay to let those friendships go because they never cared about me to begin with.
I used to care deeply about losing any of my friends. But a recent experience opened my eyes and made me see, perhaps for the first time, what a real friendship actually is. It’s a two-way street, and I grew tired of one-sided relationships. I’m done.
My healing journey has led me down a path of self-acceptance and a newfound confidence. I’m forever grateful that I no longer fear confrontation. I tell someone how I feel, and if they don’t accept it… goodbye.
Sometimes the hardest part isn’t what happened—it’s what we didn’t say. But growth is realizing we don’t have to stay that version of ourselves.
Where in your life are you ready to take action instead of staying silent?
“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.” — Brené Brown
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