We Are #MightyTogether

A quiet reflection on what it feels like to be physically present, but mentally somewhere else—and the slow process of finding your way back.

There I am, sitting in a meeting, trying to pay close attention to what is being said—but my mind slowly drifts. It happens so automatically that I barely notice it at first. Like I’ve slipped into autopilot without realizing it.

Thoughts start to take over. Completely off topic. I think about what I want for dinner. How I want to spend my weekend. Uninvited memories that slip into every corner of my mind.

And in that moment—along with many others, if I’m being honest—I realize I’m there in the room, but my brain is elsewhere.

This happens quite frequently. No matter how hard I try to stay in the present, my mind decides it’s bored and would rather move on to something more stimulating. It usually ends up being a daydream of sorts, where I imagine my life as something different than what it is.

I’ve noticed just how difficult it can be to stay in the moment. To listen and respond without losing my train of thought. My mind can’t help but meander to places that feel scattered and in-between. Sometimes I reflect on happy moments, and other times I drift into places that feel heavier—emotional, sensitive, and hard to sit with. I try to avoid going there, but I never really know where my mind is going to take me.

Just the other day, I was in the middle of a conversation that was light-hearted and intriguing, but still, my mind wouldn’t stay with it. I was trying so intently to listen to every word and fully absorb it, but the moment I went in for my response, it fell apart the second it left my tongue.

I’d completely lost my train of thought.

I had to stop, apologize, and admit that I didn’t know where I was going with it.

In moments like that, it feels like I’ve stepped out of the conversation without meaning to—like I’ve left the room while my body stayed behind.

I’ve spent a lot of time wondering why this happens. Why it’s so hard for me to stay present. Why my mind always drifts somewhere else, even when I want to be fully there.

I want people to understand that there are moments where I am fully involved—listening, present, able to respond. But a lot of the time, I’m off in my own world.

Living on autopilot has made me realize that even though I’m physically there, mentally I’m not as involved as I’d like to be. Sometimes I can barely feel my body being present either. It’s like I’m sitting in the room, but I’m not fully inside myself.

There’s a kind of haziness to it. A feeling that’s hard to describe—like a rush of overwhelm mixed with anxiety. My heart starts pounding, my mind goes foggy, and everything feels uncertain. It’s like I’ve been stunned for a moment, trying to stay clear-headed while everything inside me feels scattered.

I think part of it comes from how anxious I can be. When I feel put on the spot or expected to stay fully focused, something in me starts to shut down instead. I falter. I drift.

It becomes this cycle of trying to stay present and then slipping out of the moment anyway.

I don’t think I chose this on purpose. I think at some point, it just became easier to drift than to fully feel everything. I’ve always had a hard time sitting with certain thoughts or emotions, especially the ones that feel overwhelming. So instead, my mind moves away from them.

And over time, that drifting just became automatic.

Instead of trying to solve it, I’m learning to notice it.

To catch the moment before I disappear too far into my own head. Not to judge myself for it or force myself to stay, but just to recognize it for what it is.

I’m not always able to pull myself back right away. Sometimes I still feel distant, still half-present. But even noticing it feels like something.

Even though I’ve struggled with this for most of my life, I’m starting to realize that awareness might be where it begins.

I may still have the brain fog, the scattered thoughts, the moments where I lose track—but that doesn’t mean I’m not capable. People still show up for me, and I show up for them.

So I have to believe I’m doing something right. I’m trying not to be ashamed of it anymore. Not to judge myself every time I drift.

I just remind myself—I might have left for a minute, but I can come back.

And that’s enough right now.

When do you notice yourself slipping into autopilot the most—and what does it feel like in your body when you do?

“Wherever you are, be there totally.” — Eckhart Tolle

#MentalHealth #ADHD #ADHDInGirls #Neurodiversity #MightyTogether #AutismSpectrum #Anxiety

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