needtovent

I’m so tired of feeling like this….tbh I don’t think my relationship is gonna last cuz I’m fed up with my bf and his lies|cheating😡 #FeelingAlone #toxicrelationship

My friend found a therapist who didn't outright dismiss her & I said I had, too. Except have I? I have the worst luck *and* I'm in a place where there's no hope of finding a therapist unless you can find a charity who does it "pro bono." Charity therapy is fraught with difficulties. The funding can run out. The therapy might not even be properly regulated.

I did find one though. The organisation isn't great & I'm supposed to have a session once a week. It's generally more like once a month. Last week, my counsellor lost her voice. This week she's still lost it. The above word hangs in my head.
"Oh god, she's got chronic laryngitis. It'll be weeks. Maybe it'll be never. I bet they only have one therapist. This'll probably be it for the whole charity. Why is my luck so bad? Why the ever-loving f*** do I live in a 'civilised, 1st-world' country, with an alleged national health service, that leaves rando charities completely alone to help people with mental health problems???"
#needtovent #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety

This is what happens when I let my guard down, are you having a good day? Let me ruin it for you. How many days since your last #SuicidalThoughts ? Too many, we're back to zero.
My teenage son had a situation at school, #MentalHealth #Depression and I am the one who got blamed, can't talk to his dad for more than 3 min without he thinking I'm staring a fight. I'm so freaking tired to deal with everything almost by myself and make feel it's my fault, after all, I'm sick too, I'm a horrible mother and bad partner.
My own depression? I deal with it the best, or worst I can.
For now, I have to take deep breaths and keep going, after all, our other child also needs a parent.
Gosh, if only I could sleep or take a train and don't come back until..... #CheckInWithMe