I think I’d be so happy if I finally lived alone. This time last year I was in a stable job, okay money, on my way to purchase a house. Now I’m jobless living in my ex’s house, sharing a bunk bed with him and my kid. With no end in sight.
Every day I feel that neither him or his father want me here.
I feel there’s #Nofuture anyone else? #Depression
#Anxiety #badcompany #pandemic
During this time of staying home has made me feel useless, I am a PSW on parental leave....however; I should have returned to work today. I am unable to return because of the Covid...not too many clients want to be helped at this time and other PSWs are only working half days. Apparently, Im not needed. What feels worst is my boyfriend has decided not to allow my grandson and I go with him shopping anymore. The reason is because my 16 month old screams, randomly when he is frustrated or can't get his way. It's part of his development, so I've been managing it as https://well.as I can. We were in a store picking a new lamp, because the baby screamed a few times while we were trying to pick a lamp, my boyfriend started walking away. Basically he doesn't want us to go with him anywhere anymore, because as he said "can't do anything with a screaming kid." He was stressed out. Apparently he had a terrible day. I honestly think maybe might be time to move on...but I have no place to go. I really need to reevaluate my life and situation and figure out whats best for me and my grandson. #unforseenfuture #thinkhard #justdontknowrightnow
I started studying from 2013 til 2016. I tried studying 2 different courses. Both are a 3 year span. First two years I studied one course and the I then I dropped that one. Then I decided to study something else. Also stopped just after 2nd year ended. I dropped out due to my mental illness. I went to a psychiatric hospital in 2016 for 3 weeks. Diagnosed with severe Depression, anxiety and bi polar. I got a temp job as a bookseller in 2017 and I’m still there. I look at others completing their studies being all happy, and devotional to it. My older sister completed her studies after 7 years, she’s dentist now. I envy her so much. I envy them all. I really want to secure my future, But I just can’t bare the thought of going back to study. Just thinking about it overwhelms me. I don’t know what to do. I don’t even think I have a future. I don’t see one. It’s so hard to find a permanent job, that doesn’t require a degree from someone. I want to give up. There’s no point. Sorry I’m all over the place. So many thoughts I want to share.
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