Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer

This is a really tough post for me. I was diagnosed with non small cell lung cancer in April of 2025. What makes this difficult is that right now my cancer is treatable and I’m choosing not to go forward with it. I’m only involved with palliative care for pain management. I know there’s a whole world of people going through treatments and hoping beyond hope to get into remission. And those unfortunate where the treatments have failed. I sincerely wish the best for all of you fighting.

I haven’t found a compassionate ear or understanding of my choice. And I’m feeling completely alone with all the aspects.

I’ll try to explain where I’m coming from.

I never had quality of life. Since I was a child I suffered severe trauma, major depression (which after years it was found I was treatment resistant). Anxiety is a given. I also have chronic pain and migraines. Aside from all this I always tried to be as functional as possible. I’m smart, I love using my mind and learning new things. I’m not exceptional, but I play piano really well and capable of drawing and painting. I love being physically active. The activity helped me ground myself and diffuse pent up emotions. I absolutely love helping people when I can and it helped me as much as the other person. Throughout my life I had short periods of functionality. This is how I learned my capability. After trying over and over tweaking some things for a better outcome …..I had to give up my stubbornness and accept the pain I was in physically and mentally in. My problem is that I can’t accept or tolerate living day to day not being my true self. It’s torture for me.

In a twisted way, my cancer is a blessing in disguise. But I’m terrified! With my PTSD I can’t handle being touched when it comes time when all my needs will have to be taken care by someone. And yes, this issue isn’t enough to make me fight my cancer. It will be my one last struggle.

Does anyone understand me a little? Can anyone see where I’m coming from? I’m all alone here and lost.

Since I moved up to the Inogen One G3 I no longer need my homefill system but I do need the space it takes up. This thing is large enough to be added to my lease. I have been looking for months for a responsible way to move this piece of equipment on without luck. The company that gave it to me has changed names three times and denies any knowledge of me or the equipment (while trying to sign me up for additional equipment to abandon no doubt). I'm out of ideas. Have any of you ever been in this situation? What did you do? I want to do the right thing. But I'm tempted to set it outside the door of the oxygen company that supplied then denied it.🤬

#LungTransplant #ChronicLungDisease #COVID19 #Mesothelioma #non-SmallCellLungCancer #ChronicObstructivePulmonaryDisease #CongestiveHeartFailure

I view my cancer…..

What do you do with durable medical equipment you don't need anymore? #LungCancer #LungDisease #LungTransplant # #InterstitialLungDisease #Asthma

Feed for Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer