Offmeds

I have been loosing grip,aggressively.Ive lost control,overtime worse than the mext,towards my husband. Has there been reason, definitely. But I played into what he was trying to portrait,my completely unhinged, crazy.Ive been crying for help for a year.And I found out the ones I asked to help me, were the ones hurting me.I flipped.It, was unnecessary, to make me panick, obsessively circling,in thoughts, between each person for months.They played Pshyc on me,for sport.no other reason, none.im lost everyday and stll am trying to get a routine. I panick, everyday at the same time, again.When I see him, I'm done, I freak.Cant even be near him.im scared but ready to fight, defend myself physically, I can't explain it.my heart races. I pace.And he keeps threatening to call the police, this was, the third time.He threatened if I go a d see my ducks.Two days, it was I can't see or talk to his famiky.So I wait, for my lawyer.I had to get three new phones, can't jeep track of anything anymore.And they've accused me of lying abouts my Disability.I now have the power of faking concussions,assults,brain bleeds and strokes, two dozen other diagnosis due to my AVM that's in my beain. I'm faking,and he, my husbandsays he just doesn'tunderstandbut has not once gone to any of my therapist with me.Not once.
I can have a disability and have a life.And I can have a disability and live alone too.And make better choices with people who have my best interests and intentions first,mine.I will be better than I am now.I am happy and still moving forward.

Can’t stop crying and I seriously have nothing to cry about I just can’t stop. #sucks

Made a #Therapy appointment. #CheerMeOn

I’d rather not discuss this with my doc, as he will start the pseudo-psychoanalytic stuff, and I’m really not up for that right now. My plate is over full: I am an only child, narc mom’s victim, but also her executor/trustee, her primary caregiver for 8 painful years, grieving in a complicated way — also mom to a 10 y.o. who is grieving herself & needs me, wife to an alcoholic & never-medicated bipolar man, and, to top it off, now unemployed with mom’s newly discovered back taxes. It’s too much, and I just want to be on my meds ASAP. #Offmeds #Grief #narcissiticmother