overwhelmed

For my mental health sake, I sincerely ask if you could please censor c*v*d-19 (o, i) or the other words, p*nd*mic (a, e), and q**rantine (ua) or leave them out entirely before posting any comments. Thank you, you’re the best!
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Before I say anything, I just want everybody to know that I am not intending to be/sound rude when I say any of this.

Saying that “well, *trigger word* is not going to go away” or “it is what it is” are the least helpful things you can say to someone with triggers, because to me, it feels like you’re saying “welp, you’re screwed for the rest of your life” and for the latter “I simply don’t care”, even if you’re not intending to sound that way.

Yes, I still have these words as my triggers everyday. It still brings me flashbacks whenever I fucking hear any of the words and how much of a sad life I’m still in (and I already have mostly negative views about society) because I unintentionally drag myself into that very sad period of 2020 and beyond.

I’m trying to work this over with my therapist, but I haven’t because there’s a thousand things that happen with me and are on my fucking mind everyday, and if not everyday, then most days (traumatic flashbacks, being overstimulated by youngest nephew constantly, stress dreams, trying to make time for all 7 of my queerplatonic partners (yes, it’s healthy, non-romantic, and consensual) and trying to be perfect around them all the time (I should probably stop doing that), waiting to move out of here already into a more safer and quieter environment, extreme social dysphoria as a non-binary individual, etc. etc.)

#MyAutismIsNotADisorder #SocialAnxiety #Trauma #Anxiety #triggers #normalizetriggerwarnings #overstimulated #overwhelmed #triggerwarning #venting #LGBTQIA #MentalHealth

I really can’t fathom this beyond selfish, uncaring, disappointing, disgusting world we live in. I try to stay as POSITIVE as possible; however day by day it’s just becoming basically impossible. In what kind of a world do you go see your GP for an underlying condition that’s been going on for months now and is just getting worse and more severe and get treated as if you don’t matter, you’re not important and rudely get rushed and rushed when you’re trying to explain everything that’s been going on due to being scared shitless and ridden with anxiety 24/7 that something is most def wrong. What kind of a world is it okay for a Dr to not listen to your lungs or heart, doesn’t check your ears, throat or lymph nodes under your jaw when everything needs to be ruled out due to the symptoms you’re experiencing. No bedside manner, no empathy not even a care in the world that I’m in constant excruciating pain 24/7 legit hysterically crying to him due to the pain I’ve been dealing with for 4 straight months now. I went in with the hopes of being treated like a human being, instead it was like I was just a number and a code to be paid for. How is it right for your own Dr you’ve been seeing for years now is just talking crap under his breath saying “I have to leave” and rushing me out the door when I was in the middle of a conversation. I completely understand how busy Drs can be, I am a board certified Ophthalmic Scribe; so I know how a patient is supposed to be treated. He also interrupted me abruptly and said that I was on a medication that I don’t take lightly and I haven’t been on it for over 8/9 years, what an INSULT that was!! So what you can’t even look at my chart to see what meds I’m on?!? What are you doing the whole time your back is turned to me then?? Mind you, an assistant brings you in first and is supposed to go over your meds & history and she couldn’t even do her job, like what?!? I was being belittled the entire time and he didn’t “like” the questions I was asking, WTF? Hello, it’s my body and I am the one that has to deal with it on a daily basis, I DESERVE to ask as many questions as I want, how dare you say or act otherwise?!? Since he was I guess “aggravated”at my questions, he abruptly kept answering with only yes or no answers. I asked if there was anyway I still had an infection that didn’t go away and he again said abruptly “NO” without even examining me?!? How is this right in any way, shape or form? It’s NOT!! I asked him for a refill on a medication for my migraines that mind you in the past year, I’ve only received 1 prescription with 15 tablets, not even a months worth, just 1 all year!! It’s the only medication that decreases my pain and allows me to get some stuff done, instead of being bedridden for days on end. He “didn’t” like that I asked so he kept rushing & rushing me out the door, got up like a damn CHILD basically running out the door, what is that s***?! There was no ending to our appointment, no “I’ll call you when the labs come in, or do you want to make a follow up appointment, no goodbye NOTHING!!! I went in deathly scared and left even more scared than I’ve ever been. It could be my heart, my kidneys, my circulation or vascular. That is not to take lightly at all!! I am so beyond frustrated and hurt, mad, sad, dissatisfied, disappointed, misunderstood and filled with many unknowns. I was grown up with the “Golden Rule”; you treat people the way YOU want to be treated & I live by that and it’s absolutely disgusting that even a Dr can’t give you the time of day or the care and help you desperately need. These Drs are getting away with way to much unacceptable, inappropriate and unprofessional behaviors and actions. Yes I will admit I was running 10 mins behind due to traffic, however I called b/c it’s the right thing to do and was told “Don’t rush, weren’t not busy”. If there’s anything I’m guilty of is being to nice of a person and caring about people more then I should, I always give everyone the benefit of the doubt due to you never knowing what someone is truly going through and yet it slaps me in the face every damn time, it’s so sad to say the least. They say “reach out if you need help”, “Don’t hesitate, we’re here to help” or what have you. You do whatever means necessary to advocate for yourself and it gets you no where 😥. All I am trying to do is find out what is wrong with me so I can hopefully get my life back, I guess that’s to much to ask, idk anymore 🤷🏻‍♀️ #fedup #overwhelmed #BipolarDepression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Anxiety #IBS #dontknowwhattodo #alone #ChronicPain

When it strikes out of nowhere sometimes or is constantly there even though you try hard to be positive or accept your emotions or do things to manage it. I’m used to feeling anxiety but I guess have a tougher time when I’m tired, fatigued or struggle when I’m down and can’t try to change it.

It’s a part of life we can’t constantly be happy etc but I guess it’s just hard sometimes.

#Depression #Sadness #Acceptance #Emotions #struggling #overwhelmed

I'm new here and I'm hoping to meet friends. Today is difficult for me. I can't pinpoint the why but the emotions are clear. I'm sad and overwhelmed and alone, even though I'm surround by the two most wonderful people on earth (my boys). I have a never ending list of house work piling up around me yet I don't have the will to accomplish much of anything at the moment.
I went to church today and I always feel good after church but I was left feeling bad about myself today. I'm so unhappy with who I am at this point in my life. I want to be so much more than I am. I want to be more healthy and more successful. I have a great career in the medical field which I excelled in but now that I have kids I just don't love it anymore, it isn't for someone who has a family. The sacrifices now are just too great. Everythings changed. The anxiety of being away from them, the fear of the world and the people in it. I panic when I'm not near them. I hate that it takes two these days. Two to work. .yet I'm also left juggling laundry, housework, rearing children, cooking meals, nursing my one year old and taking care of myself. It's all so much. We don't have active family on either side so there is no grandmother or aunt to love my littles. Just us. Its just hard. They say it takes a village and I'm only one person. I constantly worry I don't give them enough. Having a 5 year old and 1 year old is so hard sometimes. It's so constant. Trying to do anything with a baby on your hip and one at your waist is so overwhelming at times. On a bright note I'm typically pretty good at juggling life and have really good days. Today is just a sad day and I really don't want to feel sad. #sad #overwhelmed #Loneliness #tired

I've been thinking about making a Podcast . I sit at home and at work thinking about life. My thoughts and mind just wanders frequently. One day, I started recording my thoughts by voive and writing them down. I just needed an outlet. Then, I started to wonder if others would want to hear too. I talk to friends and family and therapists but it doesn't seem to be enough. I want to be able to share my story. Oddly enough, it's easier to talk to the mic then to the one's right in front of me. I started researching how to start a podcast and i never thought it would be so much work. Should I continue trying to make a Podcast? #Anxiety #overwhelmed #Podcast #PreciousLove #PreciousStories

Today is a bit of a struggle. Not sure if its the #Depression or just feeling #overwhelmed or what, but I can not focus on anything for more than a few minutes. How do you get back your focus so you get work done? I end up tying to get small tasks done to get them off my mind but then I feel like I'm just postponing the other stuff.

And then there's the new puppy, which I don't think is helping matters at the moment. He's helping give me hope and something to look forward to, something that is supposed to be positive but right now he getting on every last nerve possible and then some. I know he's just being himself and learning everything but its so frustrating and distracting.