overwhelmed

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Thoughts

I am a #HSP in which my emotions can sometimes get the better of me. I feel #overwhelmed by my surroundings and sometimes feel like I have to hide away. It helps to get away sometimes.. especially when there is too much emotional events taking place around me. I know I cannot watch the news, it's too much for me and I never know what to expect.

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Coping skills

#coping #Depression #Anxiety #BPD #schzo #Bipolar #ADHD #OCD #overwhelmed #Survivor

hey everyone.. just thought i would share some coping strategies and distractions you can use when feeling overwhelmed..

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just found out my bio dad's got colon cancer

#Cancer #Depression #Anxiety #Support #Stress #overwhelmed
hey everyone..i just checked my voicemail and one of the messages was my bio dad saying that he was in the hospital,that he just found out he has cancer..so i called the hospital and talked to him bc i haven't talked to him in months due to a previous misunderstanding we had..

he just found out yesterday that he has colon cancer and that they are going to do everything they can to prolong his life.. shots, chemo..i knew something was wrong a few years ago bc of his stomach issues..i told him to go to the doc.. encouraged him to go and that i would go with him but he never would go

i know myself now scary it can be going to the doc when something is wrong and you dont know whats going on..i know when it's his time to go im going to blame myself for not pushing him to go to the doc even though i tried everything i could to get him to go..this is devastating news and i just got to know my bio dad in the past 4 years of my life..

im frozen in fear..i dont know how to take it or what to think..after hearing his message..i froze and it took me 30 min to build up enough courage to call him bc i was in freeze or flight mode..i just lost my step dad few years ago to prostate cancer and i didn't get to say my goodbyes to him due to being homeless and my phone dying..

so i have alot of guilt around death and i love that God gives us life but is it normal to be a little angry at him for taking loved ones away? i don't know if its just me..i don't have any support and haven't in awhile.. God was my only support..i dont like feeling this way and just need some answers or opinions.. thank you

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One (RANT) DAY at a TIME

I’ll have #Gooddays & I’ll have bad, though I’m still constantly struggling with my #innerself daily. There are a lot of things I know I have to do, but either my #Anxiety gets worked up, or I’ll try to get it done, or I tell and/or give myself reminders & still somehow end up forgetting about it or I’ve become distracted.

I’ve noticed that my train of thought can now go all over the place. Which is why I now have a lot of notebooks that I could use if I needed to let it out.

When it comes to phone calls I need to make, or appointments to schedule… I spend hours worrying about the #Start - #during - & #End of the whole thing. Before I know it, I can’t call because they’re now closed. Of course now I’ve become #Irritated & #angry at myself.

It never used to be this hard. I know I need to find a job, even IF the job I had #terminated me in part of my #MentalIllness . I feel stuck with no #Positivity in site. & It doesn’t help that even with or without my anxiety ramping up, my #Pride will not let me ask for help.

But…
•I give myself a ‘thumbs up’ daily for getting out of bed.
• I cheer when I have motivation to shower.
• I pat myself on the back, in my mind of course… when I do laundry & put them away.

I still struggle with driving anywhere if I’m alone. Hunter, who is my furbaby soulmate, but also my #esa is always by my side, & either one of my sons or sometimes both would join me so I’m not freaking out while driving on the road.

I feel #Guilt that I’m not being the mom that they need me to be. I feel bad every single time I ask them for help (when I’m getting #overwhelmed trying to tidy up the house). I am mad that my #breakdown caused me to fail in my performance at work & that I #Struggled to do the things they asked of me (because I was never informed from the start that there was info that they could show me & help me with #FMLA ‘cause it would’ve been easy back then to get things in order than it was a couple of months ago). I felt #invisible . I felt my #Voice didn’t matter. I tried… all by myself… in the end, the company I loved working at didn’t give a … about me.

I’m sorry for ranting about nonsense. :(

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#tough #times : #Depression #saddness #PTSD #overwhelmed #Guilt . So I revisit Lyrics, #crythename , via the late great #richmullins

I cannot hide this longing that grows
In this temple of silence and stars

But a thief in the night stole in and broke; Every chain that had bound up my heart

I cannot cling to shadows again
So here on this altar tonight
I lay every dream I've ever dreamt
To burn in the fire He lights

I cry the Name of the One who loves me; The Name of the One on whom I call; 'Til it roars like thunder
Rolling down these canyon walls

I cry the Name of the One who loves me; The Name of the One on whom I call; 'Til it roars like thunder
Rolling down these canyon walls

Every breath I've ever breathed
Was sent as a gift from on high
And with all that is left of all that is me; Up to the Heavens I cry

The Name of the One who loves me
The Name of the One on whom I call
'Til it roars like thunder; Rolling down these canyon walls

I cry the Name of the One who loves me; The Name of the One on whom I call; 'Til it roars like thunder; Rolling down these canyon walls

The Name of the One who loves me
Name of the One on whom I call
'Til it roars like thunder; Rolling down these canyon walls

I cry the Name of the One who loves me; The Name of the One on whom I call; Down these canyon walls

I cry out Your name
I cry Your name out
'Til it roars like thunder; Rolling down these canyon walls

The Name of the One on whom I call
'Til it roars like thunder; Rolling down these canyon walls
Down these canyon walls

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters:
David Strasser / Richard Mullins
Cry The Name lyrics © Capitol CMG Publishing, Universal Music Publishing Group

#youtube Video:
youtu.be/5S8Ar7atNo8

Cry The Name

Provided to YouTube by Reunion RecordsCry The Name · Rich MullinsBrother's Keeper℗ 1995 Reunion Records, Inc.Released on: 1998-07-20Composer, Lyricist: Beake...
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I feel overwhelmed..

Do you ever feel like you wanna be somewhere but you don’t know where? Or you wanna be alone but at the same time want someone to be by your side because if you’re alone your mind takes you to dark places? What is this feeling? Is it #Anxiety ? #Depression or am I just #overthinking ? #overwhelmed

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Triggers, pet peeve responses, and being overwhelmed | TW swearing, family

For my mental health sake, I sincerely ask if you could please censor c*v*d-19 (o, i) or the other words, p*nd*mic (a, e), and q**rantine (ua) or leave them out entirely before posting any comments. Thank you, you’re the best!
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Before I say anything, I just want everybody to know that I am not intending to be/sound rude when I say any of this.

Saying that “well, *trigger word* is not going to go away” or “it is what it is” are the least helpful things you can say to someone with triggers, because to me, it feels like you’re saying “welp, you’re screwed for the rest of your life” and for the latter “I simply don’t care”, even if you’re not intending to sound that way.

Yes, I still have these words as my triggers everyday. It still brings me flashbacks whenever I fucking hear any of the words and how much of a sad life I’m still in (and I already have mostly negative views about society) because I unintentionally drag myself into that very sad period of 2020 and beyond.

I’m trying to work this over with my therapist, but I haven’t because there’s a thousand things that happen with me and are on my fucking mind everyday, and if not everyday, then most days (traumatic flashbacks, being overstimulated by youngest nephew constantly, stress dreams, trying to make time for all 7 of my queerplatonic partners (yes, it’s healthy, non-romantic, and consensual) and trying to be perfect around them all the time (I should probably stop doing that), waiting to move out of here already into a more safer and quieter environment, extreme social dysphoria as a non-binary individual, etc. etc.)

#MyAutismIsNotADisorder #SocialAnxiety #Trauma #Anxiety #triggers #normalizetriggerwarnings #overstimulated #overwhelmed #triggerwarning #venting #LGBTQIA #MentalHealth

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Completely and utterly exhausted

I really can’t fathom this beyond selfish, uncaring, disappointing, disgusting world we live in. I try to stay as POSITIVE as possible; however day by day it’s just becoming basically impossible. In what kind of a world do you go see your GP for an underlying condition that’s been going on for months now and is just getting worse and more severe and get treated as if you don’t matter, you’re not important and rudely get rushed and rushed when you’re trying to explain everything that’s been going on due to being scared shitless and ridden with anxiety 24/7 that something is most def wrong. What kind of a world is it okay for a Dr to not listen to your lungs or heart, doesn’t check your ears, throat or lymph nodes under your jaw when everything needs to be ruled out due to the symptoms you’re experiencing. No bedside manner, no empathy not even a care in the world that I’m in constant excruciating pain 24/7 legit hysterically crying to him due to the pain I’ve been dealing with for 4 straight months now. I went in with the hopes of being treated like a human being, instead it was like I was just a number and a code to be paid for. How is it right for your own Dr you’ve been seeing for years now is just talking crap under his breath saying “I have to leave” and rushing me out the door when I was in the middle of a conversation. I completely understand how busy Drs can be, I am a board certified Ophthalmic Scribe; so I know how a patient is supposed to be treated. He also interrupted me abruptly and said that I was on a medication that I don’t take lightly and I haven’t been on it for over 8/9 years, what an INSULT that was!! So what you can’t even look at my chart to see what meds I’m on?!? What are you doing the whole time your back is turned to me then?? Mind you, an assistant brings you in first and is supposed to go over your meds & history and she couldn’t even do her job, like what?!? I was being belittled the entire time and he didn’t “like” the questions I was asking, WTF? Hello, it’s my body and I am the one that has to deal with it on a daily basis, I DESERVE to ask as many questions as I want, how dare you say or act otherwise?!? Since he was I guess “aggravated”at my questions, he abruptly kept answering with only yes or no answers. I asked if there was anyway I still had an infection that didn’t go away and he again said abruptly “NO” without even examining me?!? How is this right in any way, shape or form? It’s NOT!! I asked him for a refill on a medication for my migraines that mind you in the past year, I’ve only received 1 prescription with 15 tablets, not even a months worth, just 1 all year!! It’s the only medication that decreases my pain and allows me to get some stuff done, instead of being bedridden for days on end. He “didn’t” like that I asked so he kept rushing & rushing me out the door, got up like a damn CHILD basically running out the door, what is that s***?! There was no ending to our appointment, no “I’ll call you when the labs come in, or do you want to make a follow up appointment, no goodbye NOTHING!!! I went in deathly scared and left even more scared than I’ve ever been. It could be my heart, my kidneys, my circulation or vascular. That is not to take lightly at all!! I am so beyond frustrated and hurt, mad, sad, dissatisfied, disappointed, misunderstood and filled with many unknowns. I was grown up with the “Golden Rule”; you treat people the way YOU want to be treated & I live by that and it’s absolutely disgusting that even a Dr can’t give you the time of day or the care and help you desperately need. These Drs are getting away with way to much unacceptable, inappropriate and unprofessional behaviors and actions. Yes I will admit I was running 10 mins behind due to traffic, however I called b/c it’s the right thing to do and was told “Don’t rush, weren’t not busy”. If there’s anything I’m guilty of is being to nice of a person and caring about people more then I should, I always give everyone the benefit of the doubt due to you never knowing what someone is truly going through and yet it slaps me in the face every damn time, it’s so sad to say the least. They say “reach out if you need help”, “Don’t hesitate, we’re here to help” or what have you. You do whatever means necessary to advocate for yourself and it gets you no where 😥. All I am trying to do is find out what is wrong with me so I can hopefully get my life back, I guess that’s to much to ask, idk anymore 🤷🏻‍♀️ #fedup #overwhelmed #BipolarDepression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Anxiety #IBS #dontknowwhattodo #alone #ChronicPain

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