I'm having serious problems in my life personal issues and in relationships.
I'm worried about my relationship is in crumbles because im over jealous and possessive, i hate acting like this but everytime I'm not sure about my partner's attitude I get mad and assume that he is cheating on me. I love him and don't want to lose him but he is not happy about my behavior.
I admit I have trust issues and sometimes I'm depressed about my own personal issues that i don't know if I will ever feel happy and breath fresh air again, im just miserable and I'm noticing that now I feel better when our relationship is in good terms, i really need help I'm just miserable and I feel like a failure because nothing that i do succeed. I'm worried about my 2 girls because of the person I am, i can't give them love they deserve, i don't know how because I never had parents love nor raised by my parents, my mother passed away when i was six and even before then I was staying with my eldest sister who I thought was my mother, only realized she was my sister later. by the time I knew I have a mother and see her I was six years when she came for festive season because she was working in another province(Johannesburg, Benoni) by the time I was aware that i has a mother it was only for 3weeks I spent with her when she came for holidays, on January after she went back to work she was hit by a car and died. my life is been trauma after trauma, i trying to make it in life but I don't achieve anything. I'm battling spiritually, mentally and emotionally,
I don't have close friends that i can share or get inspiration, im always alone, besides I'm comfortable to be alone because im preventing people to see that my mood can change anytime and they will annoy me and i don't want them to see Me as a bad person because im not is just that im struggling.
I'm scared that i put my joy from a man and I don't want that.